Teacher: “Whats the opposite of minimum?”
Student:“Mini dad, sir”
Teacher: “What did King Henry do when he ascended the throne?”
Student: “He sat his fat ass down on it”
A little schoolgirl was delighted with her first assignment she ran to show it to her friends… “Look the teacher is so happy with my work he put a big red kiss on it.” The paper was marked with an X.
Teacher: "Okay English class A can one of you give me a noun?
Student: “door, sir”
Teacher: “very good, can you give me another?”
Student: “anathor door, sir”
A particularly good teacher of Religous education explained the benefits of heaven to his class of students… after telling them of all the delights of heaven, he asked who would like to go there?
All the sudents put up thier hands, all except little Martin.
“dont you want to go to heaven Marty” asked the teacher… shocked that his student wanted to be a hellbound.
“Oh sir I would love to go… but Mommy said I have to be home after class.”
History Teacher: “Okay class can someone tell me where the declaration of independance was first signed?”
Student: “at the bottom of the paper sir under the dotted line”
A young female teacher was giving her 5th Grade an assignment. Since it was a large assignment, she began to write high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys. Turning around quickly, she asked, “What is so amusing, Derrick?”
“I just saw one of your garters,” Derrick explained. “Leave my classroom and don’t return for three days!” the teacher yelled.
Turning back to the chalkboard, she continued writing high up on the board when there was an even louder giggle from another boy in the class. Turning around quickly, she asked, “What is so funny, Sam?”
Giggling, Sam said, “Well, I just saw both of your garters.” “Get out of my classroom,” the teacher yelled. “I don’t want to see you back here for three weeks!”
When she turned around to the chalkboard again, she was so frustrated and embarrassed that she dropped the eraser. Bending over to pick it up, she suddenly heard a loud burst of laughter from another male student. Abruptly turning around, she saw little Johnny leaving the room.
“Just where to you think you’re going, Johnny?” she asked.
“Well, judging from what I just saw, my school days are over!” Johnny replied.
I hope you guys like this collection even more than the last lot… 
