“ClassiC DefinitionS & CooL MeaningS”
-
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end &
a fool at the other. (I personally dont agree to this one) -
Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals
are more popular than a five day test. -
Marriage : It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master -
Divorce : Future tense of marriage
-
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the
lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds
of either”. -
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
present. -
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece. -
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated
by feminine water-power .. -
Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
-
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
everybody disagrees later on. -
Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling
you have never felt before. -
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
-
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
-
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
-
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
-
Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do. -
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together. -
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
-
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
-
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken
of when dead. -
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
you actually look forward to the trip. -
Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally
falls into a river. -
Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in
midway “See I am not injured yet.” -
Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY. -
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
-
Father : A banker provided by nature.
-
Criminal : A guy no different from the rest… except that he got
caught. -
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early. -
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence after. -
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with
his bills. -
Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails…!
(Now there is some truth in that)