Nisha25
January 26, 2011, 9:36pm
40
Re: Clarification needed on a couple things concerning Islam
One my sisters, has a broader body structure compared to we other sisters who are more on the slimmer side. Plus this sis of mine is not as fair as we are but she has kinda wheatish complexion, not dark though. So this sis got married to a very nice looking guy. my BIL very soon after marriage, started to tell her that she doesnt look good as other women do. she is not slim, she doesnt dress up the way other women do etc etc. lots of things like that. Comparing her to other women he would see here n there. My sis felt really insulted, bad and shared it with me. I felt for my sis.
On one fine weekend morning, I took shower, dressed up in a simple cotton dress, gave lil touch of make up to my face, left the home as i wanted to go the bank. I was on foot as bank was just on walking distance. On the way I saw a man, mature man, walking few steps ahead of me, looked back once for something and then kept looking back at me again n again. It was not something new for me or happening to me for the first time so I knew what he was up to. While I was getting irritated of his behavior, Suddenly a thought strike me. I thought what if this man goes to his wife and tells her , that she doesnt maintain herself as other women (e.g. ME, someone who had seen that day and liked) do. What if this cause a fight between husband and wife? What if there was my sis in his wife’s place? What if I have caused many fights like this between husbands and wives?
This thought made me think abt why hijaab is important for women. I understood it from my persnol experience. I learnt it coz my sister was going thru something she didnt deserve at all.
You cannot tell the other person to lower his gaze, you cannot control whats going on in his mind, but at least you have control on yourself. You can possibly stop providing that sight of you to those men who enjoy seeing it and which ultimately can result in situations like my sis was in to and I am sure my sisters face it. I or other women may not be at 100% responsible for such situations, but we do have our share, which can be withdrawn if we try.
i see why hijab is used. thanks for the explanation and again i have nothing against using it.
but for me i think what i’m saying is we have temptations all around us right? chocolate, fattening foods, nice shiny expensive gadgets, so many other temptations…is it the fault of the temptation? do we blame the chocolate or do we blame ourselves for succumbing to temptation or not having self control and then dealing with the consequences of not having self control. why can’t a man actually put the effort into having the self control and why has God made it seem like a man or a woman is incapable of it or is only capable of lowering their gaze?
i hope you’ll get a chance to read what i’ve written here:
Nisha25:
Niksik,
temptations are all around us. do we cover up all those temptations as if they are not there so we don’t get tempted or tempt others?
is it the fault of the temptation or is it our own fault that we aren’t working on that self control as human beings?
like the general thinking behind it is if porn tempts us, it’s the fault of the internet, take away internet access, is that the right way of approaching this issue?
if somebody is using the internet to bully others, it’s the fault of internet and the social networking sites that all these sinful things are done or do we punish/teach the individuals responsible for doing horrible things to see their faults and be more responsible and better human beings. it isn’t the fault of the person being bullied is it?
actually see that humans can be stronger and more responsible by teaching our minds to be stronger and resist temptation? humans are capable of seeing a temptation in front of their eyes and resisting it. why aren’t we given that much credit of being able to resist and learn that self control.
why is it many times the really religious people that do things like child molestation or sexual abuse/rape if they’ve been following these verses every day of their lives(regardless of religion).
i need to respond to what niksik and a couple other people have said too, i’ll do that when i get more time. thanks for the clarifications