churail saansein

Lifestyle Relationships
1

so i wanted to ask one q
i have read alot of thread on MILS but i just heard this story from a friend…

shek knows this girl whos hr friend and her saans is soo strict she doesnt lets ne of her DILs to eat b4 she eats i mean there r 4 bahoos n the house they all live together and the sans actuallymakes them serve her food ifrst sit their serve her during the dinner lunch wht ever and then clean dishes andserve her sons and then in the end eat and then they 4 shud sit around the saans and one shud oil her hair one shud massage her feet and other 2 well i duo alot thts all i know humm

is this ryt shud they b treated like tht and y dun they say nething cu they r from gaos(village)
they duno nething they live n india they r muslim ,magar phr bhi asa salok unke sath y? and y betay kuch nahi kehte?

meri saans asi ho tu me khud use itchen me jaladon :snooty: :aj:

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Re: churail saansein

Lol @ saans!

I guess, it is bahu's fault that they aren't standing up for themselves. There isn't anything wrong with looking out or khidmating your saas..but if you think something is not right and you are being treated unfairly, then say something and get it fixed.

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Re: churail saansein

Ive no idea why women put up with such behavior...and worst of all...men let it happen to their wives and dont do a thing about it.

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Re: churail saansein

EXACTLY!!!

ohh and is SAAS not SANS :cb: got it :hehe:

5

lucky and yucky sasa

Now we know why Cameron Munter left.
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Re: churail saansein

:cb:

7

even durin ramadan :eek:

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Re: churail saansein

when i hear stories like this I thank allah (swt) that he has given me such great in laws, my mum is always saying that to me!

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Its all man's fault, if saas is horrible or bahu is terrible, man has to manage and keep peace in home to bound ladies at home in their limits.

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Re: churail saansein

^^ I think thats a bit unfair blaming it all on the poor guy. Sometimes the husband is amazing but his mother/sister create drama and fuss for no reason. Really there is no one person at fault for this.

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Re: churail saansein

^That saans sounds like a lady Hitler. But probably the sons don't say anything because they have been raised thinking that this is the way things should be. Still, it's a bit unfortunate for the bahus. Somehow it doesn't seem right that anyone, especially a muslim should be so arrogant as to think that others are their subordinate. Once again I wonder, why, why oh why is it so hard to treat others nicely?

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Re: churail saansein

wat a Maharani sasso maa....
still living in 17th-18th century

min hoon tu chupkay se kha loon while cooking ;)

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Re: churail saansein

I just don't believe this story.

ummmm you have anothe story about churail saan????

This story seems too bookish. Even serial dramas are not showing the characters you portrayed.

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These stories are so depressing. They really motivate one to get married. And I know that toxic in-laws are a problem in EVERY culture and country. But I feel that this problem is more like rampant disease in desi society. Like a raging epidemic or plague. Look at how so many of desi (Pakistani, Indian, Bangladeshi) soap operas/dramas are based on petty conflicts between MILS and DILS. And although DILS can be sometimes be the culprits.......I've observed that even the soaps mostly portray the MIL as the monster. But then that could also be because the director wants the young beautiful bahu to be the main character to increase viewer ratings......as opposed to the elderly MIL.

But seriously.......you don't see as many MIL and DIL based dramas/programs in other cultures. And one reason for this is because Western culture emphasizes individuality and independent living as opposed to the joint family structure valued by Asian cultures. But even then........it doesn't seem like the most popular topic for entertainmetn in other cultures.

Also, many women in Pakistan feel that their sole role and identity in life is to be a MOTHER. And when their sons grow up and become independent.......they experience the empty nest syndrome where they don't know what to do with themselves and feel as though they are not longer needed. So, rather than pursue a hobby or an interest or take classes or travel or focus on their own individual development...............they don't know what do do with themselves........so they spend their energies making sure they are not forgotten by controlling their DILS to the point that it can become abuse. Of course not all MILS are like that and not all DILs are angels.

World almanacs will list all the facts about each and every country.......including issues that a country is facing. Perhaps they should include "MIL and DIL conflicts" in their list of societal issues.

It's human nature to make mistakes. But when we make mistakes....our conscience stabs us and we try to mend our ways. But it's unbelievable how some people have let their insecurities overwhelm them to such a point that their moral compass no longer functions. And they are hell-bent on inflicting zulm on others and robbing them of sakoon. Why are such people not struck by divine lightening?

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Re: churail saansein

Hmm, I was wondering what about saansein (breathing). God JJ, you're way off.

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Re: churail saansein

yes such a saas can stop ur sans

Hakeemullah Mehsud Killed
17

RV tum depress mut ho. jaldi jaldi shadi kero aur humain biryani send kero.

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[QUOTE]
These stories are so depressing. They really motivate one to get married. And I know that toxic in-laws are a problem in EVERY culture and country. But I feel that this problem is more like rampant disease in desi society. Like a raging epidemic or plague.
[/QUOTE]

Don't give up hope! There are awesome families out there. I married into one and so did a lot of other people I know.

I think one of the reasons that there are so many complaints about this shortly after a couple gets married or even while they're in the process of getting married, is that vision of a lot of people is programmed to see only certain things. What I mean is that when looking for potential mates, the girl's family and boy's family look for a lot of seemingly superficial things - looks, income, size of house, zaath, parents' occupation, etc. Now, I'm not saying all of these things are unimportant. Looks are important because you personally have to find the other person attractive. Income is important to a degree because no well meaning parent would allow their daughter to marry someone who can't provide for their precious daughter.

But there's a limit to it. People want supermodels, they want millionaires, they want a big house and not an apartment. And sometimes, they even end up getting those things. And that's right about the time the complaints about the abusive/insensitive husbands, the toxic inlaws, the argumentative bahus, etc. begin. Because while they were busy looking for all the "outside stuff," they forgot to look at the "inside stuff" such as personality, sense of humor, sharaafat, etc. And by that time, it's too late.

And here's the added disclaimer...this is of course not true in all cases. A lot of people genuinely want someone who is shareef and demand no more than that. Truly. There are people out there like that as well. But unfortunately, it sometimes happens that in those cases the shareef ladka/ladki was just putting on a show and shows his/her true colors after the marriage.

So ultimately, you just have to be careful, say your prayers, and leave it in Allah's hands.

'Philosophy of Love' by Altaf Hussain
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Re: churail saansein

i agree more to last part of Mistral's post. mostly ppl n families make a good show infront of prospect bahu n her family. they say positive n make false promises. after marriage they take their veils off n break all promises.
u cannot understand a family till u actually live with them for atleast 5-6 months.

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Re: churail saansein

All i got first was "churail saansain". Witch breathes errr....

Whether it is that way or the saas way both have lot of horror to them.

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