Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris has more friends on MySpace than Tom.
If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5, Chuck Norris has more many than you.
According to the Laws of Physics, it is impossible for Chuck Norris to build more muscle. Upon realizing this, Chuck Norris swiftly roundhouse kicked every law of physics known to man, as well as those known only by Chuck Norris. He now has the ability to will his muscles to any level of strength he desires at any given time.
CHUCK NORRIS IS MY HOMEBOY. 
yeh mughe jaimu pai jaisa kyun lag raha hai 