why is that bari bahoo of the house gets the most respect, responsiblties, and authorties, i mean is it fair to not let choti do anything just because she is the youngest i mean she also has a brain.
Re: choti bahoo
I think choti bahus get alot of attention.Being a new bride n all.
Re: choti bahoo
lol.... I'm gonna be the Bari baho! woot woot! hahah:D
Re: choti bahoo
Gonna be the choti one - my BIL (to be) isn't married yet... I am kinda nervous actually about the whole thing but inshallah it will be fine.
because the bari bahoo has been there longer and has earned everyones love and respect. it takes a while for the choti bahoo to be in the same position.
Re: choti bahoo
^ Thats true. In fact, it's difficult for the bari baho too when she first comes to the house. Its a different kind of difficulty. Since the bari baho doesn't have a precedent to follow in the house, she has to learn from scratch how things are done around the house and how to deal with the different kinds of people around the house.
Whereas the choti baho comes, she has slight help since she can learn from the bari and perhaps confide in her. The choti baho has a different set of problems since she's the last and youngest addition in the marriage circle of the immediate family.
But I guess every baho, bari, choti or middle one, go through the 'choti baho phase' when they first arrive at the house with mixed feelings and not knowing anything or too little.
I would have it slightly easier since I live in the US and so does my fiance and my in-laws-to-be live in UAE. Its funny because I always wanted to be the bari baho! lol.. and I will soon be (iA)!
:D:D
Re: choti bahoo
BORE TOPIC
why is that bari bahoo of the house gets the most respect, responsiblties, and authorties, i mean is it fair to not let choti do anything just because she is the youngest i mean she also has a brain.
Don't be sad some people don't give respect even qubool bhi naheen kartay bari bahoo ko jubkay khud hi dhoondh kar bahoo banatay hain.................Lalchi, Buddatamiz and Ghattia loag.
I depends on husband................If their son is ladla then they give more value to his wife no matter what.
If Husband is be chalaka he controls his parents not matter eldest or youngest.
P.S......................I don't know what it stand for.
P.S...........Learn how baho do some dramas and make ppl from from Indian drama (Once I saw in a drama how bahoo was doing I don't remember name of drama.....................kahani ghar ghar ki shayad)
I feel its better to be choti bahoo because although the bari bahoo has been there longer, choti bahoo is new and gets a lot of attention if they hate the older one they usually shower this one with love and attention to bribe her tolike them. i feel like well in my family that bari bahoo gets pushed to the side when the choti one walks in the door.
Re: choti bahoo
my choti aunt (mumani) is more loved and respected by all of us,, she has more responsibilities,, control,, and authorities!! lol!!
Re: choti bahoo
hehe.. a friend of mine recently became the choti bahu.. the older bahu is IT..she is THE BAHU.. everyone loves her, she is a very very sweet and caring indvidual and very responsible.. she pretty much has everyones respect... so now the choti bahu who herself is a very mature and just as nice girl as the older bahu, is finding it really hard to make ppl notice her.. but her in laws are trying and the older bahu seeing her younger devranis plight, has given her some of her responsibilities and said she should take up the work however which way she pleases. so now she has something to show as her own work and try to leave her mark...
but ya.. sometimes its hard for teh choti bahu if the older bahu is an angel. its easier if the older bahu is a biatch so teh younger one can be the good one in the matter of a few days :D
im the only bahu ... so i gotta keep things balanced. there are evil days and there are nice days... :D hhee.. NOT
Re: choti bahoo
What I saw when I visited Pakistan few months ago.
They have only 2 sons.
They are my relative.
Bari baho bohat ameer aur bohat achchi larki laay thay they were so ghareeb and they were demanding money on dail basis from bari bahoo and every day ghar say nikaltay aur galiaan waghaira detay thay.
Unka baita bohat shareef seedha tha kisi ko kuch naheen kahta tha na hi bahoo kuch kahti thi aik din dono ko khali haath ghar say nikaal dia. Jubkay betaa hi ghar chalata tha aur sara ka sara tankhuwaah apnay walid kay haat main deta tha aur chota bhai sub paisay rakhta tha aur ghar chalata tha.
Phir baray beta bahoo ko sub nain mil kar nikal dia. Nikalnay say pehlay doosra beta jis ki parhai khatum ho gai thi jaldi jaldi chupkay chupkay job dhoona 4 din uski job ko huway thay kay baray beta bahoo ko ghar say nikaal dia tha shadi kay 4 maheenay baad hi.
Qusoor yay tha kay roz bari baho say kahtay thay her maheenay apnay baap say 50000 mang kar laa aur khud apnay maikay main rahay aur iskay ilawa larki ka monthly kharacha dain aur unka baita unkay saath rahay aur baho maikay main.
Larki kay ghar main jub kay naukar chakar aur cook waghaira thay. Phir bhi doosray din say hi kaam pay laga dia wo uf tuk naheen karti thi jo kaam kahtay thay chup chaap khushsi khushi karti thi us pay bhi galion ki bochaar hoti rehti thi.
Saray mohallay walay unki galiaan aur chillana suntay thay.
Phir akhir jub aik din larki nain kah dia kay wo paisay naheen mangay gi to beta aur bahoo ko ghar say nikaal dia.
Beta jub un say milnay jata tha nikaal detay thay. Phir bhi beta roz jata rehta tha un say milnay. Wo bilkul khali haath thay larkin nain baar baar nikaalnay par jub teesri dafa nikala to wapis janay say inkar kar dia.
Larkay say bola mujhay chor dain aur apnay parents kay saath rahain unki khushi kay liaay. Bivi ko kai mil sakti hai maan baap to naheen mil saktay.
Larka jubkay pehlay kisi aur ko pasand karta tha phir bhi parents ki pasand say shadi kia tha takay koi masla na ho.
Larka kahta tha min bay qusoor kioon us mazloom ko choroon mujhay meray parents reason dain kay wo budkar hai, kaam naheen karti ya koi aaik chota sa bhi reason dain to main chor doon....Per wo larki itni achchi thi koi reason bana hi naheen paay.
Larkay nain naheen chora wife ko aur wife nain jaanay say wapis inkar kar dia kay agar mujhay naheen chortay to main wapis naheen jaoon gi.
Larkay nain larki kay walid ko bola meray paas aik paisa naheen main uko kahan rakhoon aur kaisay rakhoon.
Larki kay parents ka bohat bara ghar tha parents nain offer kia hamaray yahan rah lo...saray rishtaydaon nain kaha.........per larki nain kaha mujhay chahay jhonpri main bhi rakhaay per mujhay apnay parents kay ghar naheen rahna.
Phir larki kay walid nain kuch paisay diaay jis say karay ka advence dia aur aik itnehai bura ghar fori tor pay mila to wo us main rehnay lagay.
Larki kay ghar ka sara kharch uska baat chala raha tha aur larka sara ka sara paisa apnay walid kay haath main deta tha aur walid sara paisa chotay betay kay haath main detay thay aur wo ghar chalata tha.
Shadi jub say huwi thi larka aik paisa larki ko naheen deta tha.
Beta ka sub paisa to leyletay thay per betay bahoo ko ghar main rakhnay ko hargiz tayyar naheen thay.
Bus sub bhai bahan baap except maan kay ki demand thi ki biwi ko talaq do to hum tumhain sir ankhon pay bithain gay.
Laikin larkay ki maan (dono maan betay aik doosray say bohat pyar kartay thay ghar kay mazloom tareen insaan thay...........unkay walid bohat ghatia qism kay insaan thay betay kay saath bhi buchchpun say rawaiya theek naheen tha aur na hi biwi kay sath) nain aik din ghussay main jub kaha kay jub aap sub ki yayhi demand hai to main ussay talaq day deta hoon to maan nain betay ko qasam dia kay beta bohoo bohat achchi larki hai tum usko kabhi bhi naheen chorna warna main apna doodh maan naheen karoon gi tumhain.
Beta maan ko bohat manta tha is liaay chup ho gia. Maan nain yay bhi kaha kay yay sub loag puglay ho gaain hain in ko bucknay do jo bucktay hain. Itni achchi larki tumhain kabhi naheen milaay gi.
Larkay nain naheen chora apni wife to larkay ko ghar main dakhil honay naheen detay thay maan say milnay bhi naheen detay thay. Wo Wife ko naheen batata tha kay uskay walid bahan jokay sub say choti thi bhai ko marti tukh thi aur grayban say pakar kay nikaal deti thi.
Jub kay baho larkay ko parents say milnay bhaijti thi aur aksar tohfay bhi bhaijti rehti thi shayad theek ho jain. Unka wo apna ghar tha. Phir unhon nain ghar chor dia aur betay ko bataya bhi naheen. Saray rishtaydaron say bhi jhagra tha unka kisi say milna julna naheen tha so unka kuch pata naheen chal saka.
Kai saal ho gaay phir larka USA green card lottery main utha with family chala gia.
Larka kabhi apni wife ko naheen batata tha kay uskay walid aur bahan ussay nikal detay hain jub jata thay to.
Khair larka kabhi apnay parents ka naam tuk naheen leta tha na hi baat karta tha. Uski wife ko yay baat bohat kharab lugti thi. Kais saal USA main rehnay kay baad bhi Pakistan janay ka naam naheen leta tha.
Larki ki sari family USA main thi usko Pakistan janay ki koi zaroorat naheen thi laikin wo apnay husband ko kahti thi chalain chal kar dhoondhain gay. Kaheen na kaheen pata mil hi jaay ga. Larki unkay door paray ki rishtaydaron main say thi per shadi say pehlay unki apas main kabhi mulaqat naheen huwi thi.
Khair..........Phir larki nain kisi tarha larkay say ugalwaya kay wo kioon naheen Pakistan jana chahta.........tub larkay nain kaha jub meray bhai bahan aur baap mujhay meray parents say naheen milnain dain gay to main kis liaay jaaon. Baat uski bhi theek thi.
Tub Larki nain kaha main jatii hoon unko dhoodh kay nikaloon gi aur wada lia husband say agar pata mil giaya to aap zaroor ain gay milnay parents say apnay. Bhai bhan milain na milain unko bhar main dalain.
Main batana bhool gai unki aik beti bhi ho gai is arsay kay dauran. So wo larki apni beti kay saath gai aur qissa mukhtasir kisi tarha dhoodh kar nikala apnay susral walon ko.
Jub susral ponhchi to susar nain maafi manga ru kaha hamari sari ghalti hai. Hum ro ro kar dua kartay thay mera beta marnay say pehlay mil jaay.
Khair..........Larki ko wahan ja kar pata chala kay dewar aur nund ki shadi ho gai hai........Sas bechari..........hafza kho baithi hain...........susar intehai kamzor ho chukain hain.
Ub main story hai jo is thread say related hai.
Nund jo main character thi sari budmashi main usko hi na bhai bardasht aur bhabhi ki to pehlay din say shakal kia awaz tuk aaj tuk bardaasht naheen.
Uski ki hi ijazat naheen thi bhai bhabhi ghar anay denay ki. Uska control sub pay chalta tha jub kay wo ghar main sub say choti thi.............Per buddamizi main baray baron ko maat deti thi.
Choonkay wo shadi ho kar ja chuki thi is liaay bahoo entry day saki susral main wo to uskay bhai nain mauqa naheen dia warna wo to bhabhi ko bhi peetnay kay darpay rahti thi.
Us nund ki shadi bhai kay saath adlay budlay main huwi hai.
Ub jo unki doosri bahoo hai..............Na shakl o soorat hai na hi taleem hai (Niri Unparh).........sayhat main masha Allah 4 aurton kay barabar hain.
Jub hum wahan ponhchay to doosri bahooo ki tareef kay jo qaseeda khuwni shuru ki kia balkay bochaaar kar di. Sara waqt bahooo ki tareef kartay rahay.
Normaly itni tareef susral walon ki zubani honay pay to ussay khush hona chahyay ya phoolay naheen samana chahyay............laikin..........uska chahra bilkul sapat tha. Koi farq naheen par raha tha. She was totally ignoring all of them and what they were saying.
She cooked for bari bahoo and khana lagaya. She was doing her chors quickly and yes she made mazaydar khana for us.(I'm friend of bari baho. I helped her to find her in laws and went there togather).
With no emotions at all but came and lovingly uthaya bari bahoo ko kahana kha lain. Bari bahoo was khamoshi say listening all the jhoots from in laws cause she new their way as she went through all the process. Koi mahman ata tha uskay samanay bahoo say achcha deal kartay thay aur mahmaan kay janay kay baad galiaan par rahi hoti theen.
Phir dewrani nain aur aik bhanji nain kahan hamaray yahan aa kar rahain. Jub unhon nain kaha to. She started to live there and then......the dewarani told all things what they did to her................all things same they did to her what they wer doing with bari bahoo.
Uska husband Kaheen bahar rehta hai........4 saal ho gaay shadi ko wo susral walay jub uska husband ata hai to chota sa ghar hai married bahan aur jawan larkian aakar bhar jatay hain do kamron kay makan main aur they don't even let them live like husband and wife.................would you guys believe that..........It's unbelievable but my friend an relative said yes they use to do those things to her too.....She is not lying........they did same thing with her tooo.
Khair Dewarani ko uskay bhai bhabhi say milnay phone karnay aur ghar janay ki ijazat naheen. Dewarani kay parents buchcpun main inteqal kar gaay. Bahan koi hai naheen.
Wo chorna chahti hai per chor naheen sakti is liaay kay kahti hai maikay main jaa kar mujhay nokarni hi bunna hai bhai, bhabhi aur bhateejioon ka to kioon na yahan hi nokarani bun loon................kum uz kum nokrani bunnay pay mujhay khanay aur pehannay ko kapra to mil jata hai yahan. Bhai bhai say to mangna parta hai.
Susar say galiaan alag milti hai. Laikin uska husband kahti hai achcha hai. Jubkay meri dost kahti hai intehai makkar hain yay sub drama karta hai biwi kay samanay. Wo majboor hai maan baap ko kis pay choray??? khud bahar main hai uski biwi sub karti hai.
She give a damn lift to her in laws.
She don't even look at them. Never ever visited her sister in lawas house.
When they come she don't even give them nashata aur chai pani.
She give lots of budduas to her nund + bhabhi
She doesn't have any kid. As you know They don't give her time with her husband.
Dewarani said to Jethani why did you come back. You are such a fool. These people don't worth any love or respect.
Bari baho said I'm not loking for their love and respect or anything as they didn't give me in the begining when I needed that just came for my husband cause I feel pain inside him by being calm about his family. I felt water in his eyes when I talked about his parents.
In the end it didn't again go good for bari bahoo. Share that later.
P.S...............Plzzzzzzzzz people don't take it serious how I described choti bahoo as I seen myself..........don't call me resist or mean...........there is reason behind it.........I will share that later...........Plz ppl use ur brain to understand if someone use something for someone there must be some reason behind it.
Now ppl tell me whom they give respect to.............Bari bahoo...........or ..............Choti bahoo.
Re: choti bahoo
Lol... you have described it like a story from khawateen digest .....:D
Lol... you have described it like a story from khawateen digest .....:D
LOL
I never ever read any digest or story books other than course books.
Its a true stoy.
whoa!..scarrry paki inlaw stories..
LOL
I never ever read any digest or story books other than course books.
Its a true stoy.
Maybe you should, madad kerti hain :p