Choosing not to have children..

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: Choosing not to have children..

It is very noble of them . I feel theyve chosen this path to help the world. And, I think there are other people like that who choose not to have children for similar reasons. Their contribution shouldn't be any less than people who choose to have kids.

May Allah (swt) bless everyone and give us all the ability to help the world, in one way or another, Ameen :)

22

Re: Choosing not to have children..

For some women, it's not selfish to not have kids. Some women may have had a painful childhood themselves and don't feel they're capable of providing good mothering. So for them it's a conscious decision to find fulfillment in their lives through career or other relationships. There are many women these days who are in their late 30's and haven't found Mr.Right, so they kind of give up the hope of having a family. Or some of them have lived alone so long that they think they couldn't handle annoying, loud kids disrupting their orderly lives. It's different for many women.

23

Re: Choosing not to have children..

*Mom: Beta, tumhein maloom hai jo khaandaani mansooba-bandi par yaqeen nahin rakhtay usay kiya kehtay hain?

Beta: Nahin ammi, mujhe nahi maloom.

Mom: “Daddy”*

Copyrighted: Shikra Jee. :smiley:

24

Re: Choosing not to have children..

Agree with Sahar, Solar and Saima.

Sometimes you need to think about all those people in the whole who have had children and think about what they do to their children. It's such a huge responsibility and it is lifelong, you don't get to stop being a parent when your child is at a certain age or whenever else it suits you best. I don't believe it to be a sacrafice as such, but it is a big commitment/responsibility and the needs of both potential parents should be considered.

Personally, I worry about what type of parent I would be, scares me to death, I can barely look after myself and my siblings. Being an awful parent would probably kill me!

25

Re: Choosing not to have children..

human babies are the hardest to raise and i think its a personal decision based on a person's priorities and choices. both parties lose some and gain some. how much gained and lost is just relative i think.

26

Re: Choosing not to have children..

i have met a couple women like this as well. they dont want children. In fact i know this one paki guy who married a paki girl (love marriage) and after marriage the girl tells him that she doesnt want children. That so messed up of her to tell him that AFTER they get married. He loves her but he wants kids. he doesnt know what to do now.

anyway getting back to the point. i think these women dont know what they are missing out on. they have not the slightest clue as to what is feels like to hold a newborn baby in your arms. Heck i feel so teary eyed holding a newborn baby when it isnt even mine. When they are old and gray...they WILL feel like something is missing in life. they may not admit to it...but they will feel it.

27

Re: Choosing not to have children..

There could be several other reasons for which a couple decides not to have kids. e.g. what sahar mentioned. Don;t know why everyone automatically assumes its becuase the woman wants her freedom that she chooses not to have kids :rolleyes:

28

Re: Choosing not to have children..

Then again, there are a lot of things that women who do have children miss out on. I’m not saying that one is better than the other, but simply that everyone has to make their own choice. Very rarely can you do everything wonderful that life holds. You simply have to choose and prioritize what you feel is right for you and your family.

There are a lot of women who rush into having children, who devote their entire lives to their children, but feel lonely, helpless, and even worthless once the children are grown-up and independent. Sure the children care for them, keep them company, look out for them, but those children no longer NEED their mother all of the time, and some women regret not having something else to do with their time and make them feel worthwhile.

29

Re: Choosing not to have children..

it's usually more selfish to have children, that to choose not to have one!

many people choose to have children to fil up their lives....
BUT children are not born to be your toy, or bring meaning to an uninteresting life!
just like a husband/wife do not solve love loneliness problems, children are not a cure to boredom...

people who choose not to have children are really brave and i admire them, they choose to give up the rewards of holding a new born in their arms, and having children to care about them in old age, to pursue instead some noble causes like caring for others...

30

Re: Choosing not to have children..

BUT children are not born to be your toy

Oh gosh darnit.

31

Re: Choosing not to have children..

There might be many reasons for not having kids and as long as the reasons justify it, its fine. BUT people who choose to not have kids w/o any reason are just weird! I don’t know why but I have met a few women (non-desi) and they just seem like someone who doesn’t wanna complete themselves due to some unknown fear or something.. :bummer: I guess I don’t know how to explain it!

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Re: Choosing not to have children..

** Uk has the highest percentage of teenage pregnancy in EUROPE, though at the same time it’s facing ageing and population decline specifically in Scotland, that’s the outcome of collapsed family system.**
** Nowadays mosly teenage girls are deciding to have babies. These are just students in schools/colleges/uni. Children are producing their children. Consequently, production in market (sorry to use that term) means children are very vulnerable physically, emotionally, mentally and phsychologically. Nightmare and challenge to control and teach them. Hence teachers are learning the lessons for their past sins at the hands of these children.**
** Overall trend is changed now mature and educated ladies are opting not to have a child might be to show their protest that teenagers have stolen their parental right:naraz: :mad: **
** Some of teachers (my friends) have decided not to face this music by having the baby. I think they are right.:slight_smile: **

what happened to wedding night thread
33

Re: Choosing not to have children..

Some people will do anything for a free council flat :hehe:

what happened to wedding night thread
34

Re: Choosing not to have children..

Noone (in that group) CHOOSES to have babies but are just too stupid to know any better (i.e., don’t put out or if u do use a condom if you do :rolleyes: ).

I know there are girls who choose to have babies but I think they are the ones who have really low self esteem, and no parental support at home and feel noone loves them , the thinking is “Well at least my baby will love me no matter what.”

35

Re: Choosing not to have children..

*agreed .......Its just sarcasm........:) *

36

Re: Choosing not to have children..

:k:

37

Re: Choosing not to have children..

..Just a thought. What about those ppl we see who are messed up..and they are pushing their kids down the path of being screwed up..and then we go,
" Man..some ppl just shouldn't have kids." What about them???

what happened to wedding night thread