Itna lamba lecture 
Ok see there are lot of things i never assumed replying here i.e. kids, soul mate, mother of your kids etc . But I think thats how we men and women think differently . I got your point btw . :k:
A man can always choose between two relationships no matter how difficult - but at the end there will be resentment towards both parties for forcing him to make the choice. And, he will resent the one he chooses more, since the other person/relationship will inspire his sympathy.
So it's a lose-lose situation. Even when you get your way, you lose the empathy of your partner.
Although guy/girl should not bring it to the point of "selection" but this is life and things happen.
A very close relative of mine (girl), was put into this situation by her husband where she had to choose b/w him or her family.
She took a bold step to live with him and she was cut off with her parents for almost 2 years (she is in west and parents in Pakistan). I was the only bridge b/w her and her family. For some reason her husband did not cut off this last link and allowed her to have normal relationship with me/my wife. Reason for doing all this? clash of his and her parents in Pakistan on totally unrelated matter (unrelated to her/her hubby).
Now that stupid has melted to the point where he has allowed her to talk to them on phone and visit them whenever visiting Pakistan but he himself does not talk to anyone in Susral.
and yes he is so called "educated" professional living in west for years and years...
this is common.. very very common among desis... i know many many men who made their wives life miserable by doing this for so many years....
i dont know how close you guys are with your elders (specially women) in your families... this is something u got to know when you yourself are going through some marital issues and then these ladies of your family opens up with u and tells you how exactly they have made through in their marriages... pathetic... .....and even more pathetic they (these ladies) want you to (or even condemn you if you dont) shussshhhh *and obey your *Majaazi khudaass
...
education/degrees does not teach you anything.. i dont know what exactly makes men A Man..
Ji…meri part time job hai tumhare kaan kheechna 
Does it pay a alot? If so…I’ll kheenchaaoooowwwww his other ear!
Only Reha is allowed to touch my ears . . . 
Re: CHOOSING between parents and wife
Women make this choice when they get married. In fact, they don't have much of a choice in this choice. They have to leave their parents for their husband. It is a choice thrust upon her.
So why is it hard to believe a woman could have the right to ask her partner to choose?
Having said that this choice should be made before marriage. Not after. It's kind of pointless then.
Women make this choice when they get married. In fact, they don't have much of a choice in this choice. They have to leave their parents for their husband. It is a choice thrust upon her.
So why is it hard to believe a woman could have the right to ask her partner to choose?
Having said that this choice should be made before marriage. Not after. It's kind of pointless then.
Yes, they do PCG. You're right. They do make this choice and our desi culture isnt fair when it asks girls to leave their parents behind and move on with their husbands'.
However...at any given point...things can change. I cant get in my husband's face and say "you didnt say this to me before marriage" for every thing life throws at us. Its for better or for worse, right? What if my parents need help when they get old? What if he says that to me? "You didnt tell me your parents would become a burden on me before we got married". I would punch his eyeballs out. Nadz's husband is in the same boat. Things have changed, his parents need him and he has to go back. Can she live there? Yes. Does she want to live there? No. Can she make him happy by giving him this? Yes. Judging from her posts, they enjoy a comfortable life there...so I dont see any real problems with her living there...at least for now.
Inshallah, your partner for life will support you through it all. But dont depend on life to be predictable or look at him for guarantees he cant give. He is only human.
RV…it doesnt pay well at all 
but he DID promise me a new Louis Vuitton bag 
Haan na…aaj kal mujhe aur koi kaam nahin hai…
Re: CHOOSING between parents and wife
For me it depends on rights Nadz.
Whatever is right, I would do that. If I definetly have to make a split choice, I will try my best to support and make the new circumstance as best as possible for the one who had the lower right.
Rights dont just get decided by a compitition between parents and wife.
Rights also come from promises or commitments earlier made to whoever they may be.
If I was free to choose, then I would make the choice that takes into consideration mine and everybody elses wishes/needs.
Everyman loves his wife. But he also has a duty towards his parents, especially if ther are old, and/or there is nobody to look after them.