Ive been thinking how our asian families work…and how when a baby is born the elders expect you to offer them to provide the babys name…
What if you already like a name?
What if your in laws give a different name and your parents give a different name and both are adamant that the child should be given that name!
Many a times, parents say its good 2 ask elders…but just say you really like that name and then they say..no we dont like it..what are you supposed 2 do then?!
I think in the old days, our parents probably gave the right to their parents to name their children and obviously they expect us to do the same…
my parents are cool, but I have heard people moaning about this a lot so thought its a good topic to discuss…
i would offer my parents cz they didnt’ really get to name my brothers’ kids. but if its a name i dont like, oh well.
what i’ dont get is–how do u refuse a name? like some parents will choose really religious/common names, and well im sure it wouldn’t go down well if u refuse those names.
I just told both parties that they have had their chance with choosing their own children´s name, so it´s my turn now. Ofcourse there is a little bit disappointment, but at the end of the day parents understand it.
I think I'll ask my patents and inlaws to suggest names specially so they feel they are part of the process and u never know, they might suggest something great. However, as far as a females name is concerned I've already got it and will be using it.
I would hate the thought of anyone choosing my childs name, its something so special and personal. I only person I would consult is of course the babies father.
I think I'll ask my patents and inlaws to suggest names specially so they feel they are part of the process and u never know, they might suggest something great. However, as far as a females name is concerned I've already got it and will be using it.
That's what we did. We didn't give anyone the right to "choose" the baby name. But we asked everyone for suggestions of names/meaning. Then we chose the name which we both like. This time around I am adamant that I alone will choose the name :)
We dont have kids yet but we get stuck on this sometimes..
so we've decided.. whenever we decide to have kids we'll choose the names and ask both sides to pick out of the list.. Ive always wanted to name my kids myself.. so Ill atleast get a chance to do that in a way!
This is how I see it. You can offer your parents and in-laws to give you name suggestions to** consider**. But to **consider **things doesn't mean that it's a guarantee you will accept the idea.
The child belongs mainly belongs to you and your husband. So, you and him get top priority in naming the child. You did all the hard work, carried the child for nine months, delivered it, took care of it.......so, it's more up to you....and him. If you like their suggestion, go for it. But you should not be pressured into choosing names that they have selected. It ANNOYS **me when parents and especially in-laws get **WAY TOO PUSHY with their name suggestions.
we don't have kids yet, but we've got our two favourite names for boys and girls picked out and we're sticking to 'em! if our parents don't agree with our choice, too bad- the kid's ours, naming him/her is our privilege. they can have the middle names if they really want to be involved :P
I have a huge problem selecting my daughters name b/c my mother in law wanted her named batul and i was like its so old name and every time i came up with a name my husband was making a point that it wud be pronounced something else here in U.S schools, so finally we agreed on one name and when the crucial time came, that was in labor where i feel i wont survive, my mother in law was we can make batul her middle name, and i was in the mid of labor saying whtever , so we ended naming my daughter haania batul.
well that's a compromise and a beautiful name to boot! :)
however, your MIL was seriously, seriously inconsiderate to bring it up while you're in labor! wth.
Is there some "religious" way to pick a name? I am not married yet but i have known for a very long time what name i would like to give my daughter should I have one. However, the topic of naming our children came up between me and my fiance. He said although he liked the name as well - his father picks all the names in the family (he has for all his children and grandchildren) and we will not have a say in it. He said his father is very religious and does it in some religious way so we are not to argue with him. Is this true? Isn't a muslim name with a good meaning enough? I know I am going to have clashes with him and his family regarding this issue when the time comes. sigh But I agree with you lemontart... i feel that choosing your childs name is very special and personal and i believe that it shouldnt be taken away from the mother who carried the child for 9 months!
unless he's picking names out of the Quran, then no, Muslims don't have a religious formula; i know Hindus do with astrology and all that. you are right- a Muslim name should have a good meaning and that's about it.
it totally sucks that you'll be clashing over this- you should be able to name your child what you want- his grandfather's had his turn with his own kids! my grandfather was like that too and one of my uncles married this lovely persian lady who was having none of it, so she and my uncle BOTH chose their own children's names and with time, my grandfather got over it. its not a big deal at all now. your husband needs to support you in this but you have time to work on him, so all is not lost!
My youngest bro-in-law had a baby girl and my in-laws ended up naming her.. and apparently I think they have their mind set on naming my kids too.. and i clearly told my husband no way in hell.. even though i love my MIL/FIL, they had their chance to name their kids.. so we ended up doing this.. we'll pick out the names.. and give them the list and they can pick from it.. that way they're happy and atleast itll be something ive picked out already so im happy tooo! :)
Yeh the list is also a good idea. However what if u already know the name u want for a girl or boy and do not want to budge? I guess the parents and inlaws really don't have a say in that case.
What gets to me is that my husband thinks his dad will do the "ghurtee" when we have our first baby. I will let him think that... :)
Is there some "religious" way to pick a name? I am not married yet but i have known for a very long time what name i would like to give my daughter should I have one. However, the topic of naming our children came up between me and my fiance. He said although he liked the name as well - his father picks all the names in the family (he has for all his children and grandchildren) and we will not have a say in it. He said his father is very religious and does it in some religious way so we are not to argue with him. Is this true? Isn't a muslim name with a good meaning enough? I know I am going to have clashes with him and his family regarding this issue when the time comes. sigh But I agree with you lemontart... i feel that choosing your childs name is very special and personal and i believe that it shouldnt be taken away from the mother who carried the child for 9 months!
I know that some older folks go to the Quran and somehow (not sure how) find/select a letter/huroof from the Quran and that letter is used to as the first letter of the child's name. My mum's grandfather did that years and years ago - the only problem was there were so few girl names starting with that letter she ended up with a unisex name.
In my family, my BILs were great when it came to naming their children - their opinion was if the wife carries the child for nine months then she should get to pick the name - they maintained veto rights just in case the choices were off the wall - but otherwise didn't let the grandparents interfere.
Hmmm...me and hubby are in the process of thinking of names for our baby inshallah and quite frankly im getting bored of it - its just becoming a boring topic. Most of the names we liked already exist somehow in either of our families. My parents havent said anything regarding names at the mo and they are cool with it. Inlaws have sugegsted names esp mil for a boy esp (she doesnt want to think about girls names - and i know what you are thinking). I liked her choice in the beginning but after the statement in brackets, im not even gonna consider their choices as at the end of the day - its mine and hubz's baby and its our choice!!
So we have decided that we will wait until our lil bubba is born and go thru our list of names and see which one suits it best cuz sometimes i have seen that ppl do not suit with their names - maybe its just me!
