I just had a convo with my husband regarding my career and studies.
I have been working for the past 3 yrs now after doing my Bachelors. Job is good with decent salary and a few flexibilities.
I have been always passionate about my career and studies so this job is just not a burden for me and I enjoy it thoroughly. Though due to some health issues previously, Back pain to be precise. I had issues fulfilling the job. Things are better now Alhamdulillah and now I am blessed with a baby on the way.
Doing Masters have always been my priority after being in industry for a few years. Needed a break after bachelors. It is been three years now so I want to get enrolled in Masters as soon as possible.
Now my husband suggests that as soon as I get enrolled in Masters(Executive MBA) I can quit the job and focus on the degree and baby. So that it doesn’t become hectic for me(job, degree and looking after the baby simultaneously without any help). Then after completing it I can re apply for jobs and find something better.
I am kind of scared that if I leave the job now. Would I get a better job after 2 yrs gap being in Pakistan? and would I remain that much enthusiastic regarding my job and career?
It is like taking the risk.
Please comment if quitting the job in this situation is OK? or should I make myself strong and try to balance everything altogether?
Makd, firstly, this isnt just your choice, most women go through this phase when they have to choose between a career and family.
I am sharing advise which is purely my opinion and what I have followed in my life, your priorities might be different so apologies in advance if you dont like somethings I mention here.
I completely agree with your husband's take on this matter. Education is a major thing, having a job is a major thing, A baby on the way, is a major thing. With so much happening in your life, do you really want to juggle? remember that saying, jack of all trades master of none... if you want to , you can juggle, women are usually strong enough. But remember, if you fall short of fulfilling your timely responsibilities towards your family, that can genuinely affect lives.
I decided to give up my career and prioritize family. Job/career is something that you never lose. a few years break in between wont kill your career. Plus you will notice that as the baby comes, with time, your priorities will genuinely shift. until such time, my suggestion is to focus on your health, baby as a priority, then on your education completion and finally when the situation allows you, you can always get back to work. That way you havnt killed yourself with burden, and , will have dealt with your responsibilities in a better way too.
If you are working out of financial necessity, then I can see why you would want to carry on working. but since your husband is being so supportive, you shouldnt over burden yourself.
If there is no financial need then you should focus on kids and education for the time being.You can find job or get education later but time your baby needs will never come back. Give priority to the blessing that ALLAH has given, 2nd option should be education if time and financial permit.
I agree with CB, im also working infact thats training phase of my degree which was somehow necessary atleast to have some experience before i start looking for a job, i was kind of very enthusiastic when it comes to career! But yeah now after marriage i dont want anything effect my family life.And studies, job, kid,all demand major times. To tell you my experience im not pregnent yet, its been 10 months now and i too have studies to complete, basically im related to accountancy field! But still i feel i cannot or should not start everything simultaneously.but again every person is different, their priorities are different. I've stopped making future plans or thinking beyond a limit because sometimes we have to put ourselves aside and think more about the relations we have. Job, career building ,it now atleast comes 2nd in my life. You are lucky your husband is supportive but i agree with that point of his that leave your job once baby is here and manage study and kid together and to tell you one thing, stop fearing about future prospects of job now!
Thank you CB, bao bhai and mary for your precious opinion. Yes people you are right and I agree with you! When my husband is already supporting me then I think I should not worry much abt the job and savings perspective. I was just being supportive towards him. He has just started his MS means he is paying his fees already.Though, he is not much worried abt the financial aspects. He says we would manage. But I am thinking tht no it would then become being hand to mouth. I have a day care too at my work place where I can take the baby once he/she is 6 mnths old. Will get 3 mnths maternity leaves too. So the problem lies for 5 mnths only. I dont know yet. May be yes I am not strong enough to take the risk! May Allah guide me the path which is beneficial for us!
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Brian Dyson (CEO of CocaCola) advised in his 30 seconds speeh:
“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the Air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. *
But the other four Balls -* Family, Health, Friends and Spirit** – are made of glass. If you drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it.”*
