minah: So you think a kid will always say the truth when asked such disturbing questions, unless it's a custody case.
And you keep saying a kid won't lie about what it knows nothing about. You think parents or whoever, ask broad questions as in "Did the sitter involve you in promiscuous sexual acts" ofcourse they won't know head from tail if you ask them this way, even if they were abused. Questions presented to kids in such situations are simple which can be answered in a simple yes or a no..."did anyone touch you and make you feel uncomfortable, did so and so ask you to take off your clothes" etc. Is lying on such questions not possible? And even if kids don't understand the context of the questions, they do know what is the sought after answer.
I agree MM, it's real tough for kids who have been through this horror, but I find it irrational to rely solely on a kid's testimony. And I say SOLELY. Only an expert Child psychologist or someone in the field of cognition can really make out the truth from the lies. But the faith people have in children is really disturbing, some refuse to believe children could ever lie in such situations.
If you read over what I said, I never said a child won't lie, what I said is if a child came to me and spoke of such things, I would take it seriously first because the subject of child abuse is a serious one.
Chandbeti - Do you expect someone to abuse a child in front of witnesses? Sometimes a child's testimony is all you have unless they have physical proof on their body. Parent's may ask a child leading questions, but when the abuse is reported, professionals take over. Since the points you have brought up are known to professionals for some 15 yrs (+/-), the chances of the child being able to keep up "give them what they want" answers is practically unheard of these days, especially when asked to describe what they mean. There is a big difference between 'yes' and 'no' answers and describing a what was used to hit them, what part's of the body were exposed, what thing's look like on the other person, etc.
As I wrote earlier, since these things are very serious, as a parent, I would take them serious until proven otherwise. A child's safety comes first. Again, this does not mean accusing people left and right of abuse, but just taking them seriously enough to look into it.
I do understand what you are saying, but unfortunately, perceptions based on the way they used to interview children are why only 21-23% of cases make it through the system.
I cant comment about children who lie about being abused, as iv never come worked or met any, but claiming abuse is a serious thing, im not saying i would believe a child solely on their claim, but i would definately look into it, its not an issue that can be ignored.
You have to understand the people that abuse such children aswell, how sick minded must they be, they themselves cannot comphrehend truth from fiction for to do such things let alone the child that they are abusing.
I think in some cases, it denial or fear that makes some children lie about such things. iv worked with children who refused to believe they have been abused, they lied about being abused as they didnt undertsand it was wrong. i guess its a matter of opinion and judgement a professional must make in order to understand whether or not the child is lying. But, sometimes its the professional themselves that abuse…so who knows who is lying and who is not. Most adults should have a clear understanding of what is a lie and how to lie, most children don’t.
Hmm.. did you never lied when you was a child? Anywayz yea i belief that a child can lie about lots of stuff but when it come's to abuse i'll belief the kid/my child firstly.
Coz i think a little kid can lie about that?!
More recently, research suggests that children who have experienced an event repeatedly, like sexual abuse, can be highly resistant to suggestions. Although they can remember the events they have experienced, however, it is difficult for them to separate one even from another.
For example, children who have been repeatedly abused will recall what happened to them, but may not recall the details of what happened the last time they were abused to the time just before the last one.
MQ, we are talking about children who aren't abused and thus are very much vulnerable to suggestion, get it? For kids who are genuinely abused, resistance to such memories isn't surprising, for something as traumatic as this they tend to deal with it by denying it ever happened or just phasing the whole thing out.
Thanks everyone for the replies. There's no single way about it, one cannot ignore such allegations neither can one jump to conclusions about them. It's a serious and delicate matter, for those whose kids experience such horror, it's understandable how emotionally draining it can be for them and how that can lead to asking "leading questions". One cannot solely rely on what's being said, neither can it be brushed aside as something a kid cooked up to get attention. It's a matter which needs to be addressed with a cool and rational mind( no matter how hard that is).