Children from Broken Homes

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
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The quote below is taken from a different discussion.
It prompted me to ask the following:

Have there been any studies on children that came from broken homes but proved to have a better life post-divorce?

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Re: Children from Broken Homes

My parents divorced when I was 15 yrs old, and it was the best thing that could have happened for our family. They had "seperated" three times, prior to the divorce, and always ended up giving in to family, society, masjid pressure to "give it another shot"...I remember being 7-8 yrs old wishing they would just end it once and for all because it was blatantly obvious to even a child that they were not happy together. Thank god there was no physical abuse or infidelity involved, but our family unit was not cohesive and life was miserable with two parents who had grown apart. So I tend to disagree with the mentality that "we should stay together for the childrens' sake"...I know each situation is different, but that's my two cents on the topic....

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Re: Children from Broken Homes

CM said majority , based on his guesstimate so he is off he hook.

I came across a guy who was CEO of a multi billion dollar company who came from broken home was raised by a foster family but turned out to be very successful human being.
Then I was reading story of a girl who was homeless as a teen but graduated from Harvard ultimately with honors.
One of the causes of crime can be what CM described :
Source

Parental relations

Cleckley’s ideas on sociopathy were adopted in the 1980s to describe a “cycle of violence” or pattern found in family histories. A “cycle of violence” is where people who grow up with abuse or antisocial behavior in the home will be much more likely to mistreat their own children, who in turn will often follow the same pattern.
Children who are neglected or abused are more likely to commit crimes later in life than others. Similarly, sexual abuse in childhood often leads these victims to become sexual predators as adults. Many inmates on death row have histories of some kind of severe abuse. The neglect and abuse of children often progresses through several generations. The cycle of abuse, crime, and sociopathy keeps repeating itself.
Children who are neglected or abused commit substantially more crimes later in life than others. (© Roy Morsch/Corbis)
The cycle of violence concept, based on the quality of early life relationships, has its positive counterpart. Supportive and loving parents who respond to the basic needs of their child instill self-confidence and an interest in social environments. These children are generally well-adjusted in relating to others and are far less likely to commit crimes.
By the late twentieth century the general public had not accepted that criminal behavior is a psychological disorder but rather a willful action. The public cry for more prisons and tougher sentences outweighed rehabilitation and the treatment of criminals. Researchers in the twenty-first century, however, continued to look at psychological stress as a driving force behind some crimes.

Read more: Causes of Crime - Explaining Crime, Physical Abnormalities, Psychological Disorders, Social And Economic Factors, Broken Windows, Income And Education Causes of Crime - Explaining Crime, Physical Abnormalities, Psychological Disorders, Social And Economic Factors, Broken Windows, Income And Education - JRank Articles

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Re: Children from Broken Homes

well what exactly is a "broken" home?

I know the traditional definition meant a household with a single parent due to divorce (not sure if death also makes a "broken" home) but I think there's a world of idfference between..say..a couple that gets divorced but still maintains civility and don't involve their young children in their fights..or use them as emotional baits to hurt the other person, versus the single "parents" who abuse or neglect their kids.

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Re: Children from Broken Homes

Thank you Sara516, that is exactly what I was trying to say in my first post above! What constitutes "broken"??? My parents remained civil and friendly with each other, and NEVER used my or my siblings as pawns....I don't consider myself "damaged" or tainted, or destined for failure just because my parent's marriage didn't work out...now had I been subjected to abuse or or drugs/alcohol/ or other nefarious wrong doings at the hands of my parents, that could constitute "broken"...but straight up divorce....naahh...nothing "broken' there...

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Re: Children from Broken Homes

also, if single parents constitute a broken home, what about those women who choose to have and raise a baby on their own? are those children automatically considered future damaged adults too? i don't think the definition of "broken" is that simple any more.

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Re: Children from Broken Homes

not to set boundaries for the discussion but my intent behind "broken home" meant a marriage that has fallen apart......so the parents have separated and/or divorced.....

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Re: Children from Broken Homes

curious, did you try googling this at all, muzna?

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Re: Children from Broken Homes

no.....I didn't.
I'm sure that there is a a generic study that can be found if I search, however, I wanted replies tainted with a desi touch.....

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Re: Children from Broken Homes

I think a child's well being is affected by what the child saw..such as abuse in a marriage [physical/verbal], alcohol/drugs, etc. So in that respect, some spouses may still be together but in an unhealthy marriage...and that could be detrimental for the child's psychology. Now whether that makes them a criminal or not is questionable.

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Re: Children from Broken Homes

I totally disagree with CM's generalization.

He put "broken homes", "abusive parents" and "general lack of morals" in one sentence, implying that all of them are a social disease of the same kind. Just from Islamic stand point, divorce is a halal option and cannot be compared with the later two.

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Re: Children from Broken Homes

yeah but even in the case of divorce....there's still a right way and wrong way to go about it.

In one situation, kids still have a chance of turning into healthy members of society later on...

in the other situation that can be a breeding ground for abuse and neglect, factors which can lead a person to turn to crime or repeat the cycle of abuse.

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Re: Children from Broken Homes

^ agreed.....there is definitely a right and wrong way to go about separation and/or divorce.
what I am looking for is accounts of where a child may have prospered in their development once the parents decided to part ways......

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Re: Children from Broken Homes

^ what khattichic said

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Re: Children from Broken Homes

^ This is me. It's as if I wrote it about my family.

I have a better relationship with each of my parents now that they're apart because I see them as happy individuals as opposed to an unhappy couple. Honestly, some people are not meant to be together and it's no one's fault - it just is.

Children from such relationships are affected by their parents not being together, but it's the same as children of dysfunctional families - the parents may be together and it may not be a broken home, but an unhappy home can damage a child as well. And what of homes where parents spoil their children and don't hold their children accountable or raise them without good values? What excuse do criminal children of upstanding parents have? Ultimately, children are shaped by their families, but not exclusively by their families and personal choices also have a bearing on who that child is.