I don't think the mother automatically gets the custody. In Pakistani court it isn't as easy to get the child, father usually has more rights. If the mother remarries then the father almost always gets the custody unless the court grants mother custody for any reason. The whole mehram, na mehram issue is brought up and mother ends up losing. I have a cousin who went through this.
My cousin married a jerk... who after a year or so gave her a divorce, they have a kid. Father is least interested in the kid and all he wanted to do was teach mother the lesson for speaking up when she saw her husband sleeping with other women. Well since my cousin was only 23, her parents found a rishta in the U.S. and wanted her to marry him. Well she did but the father took the kid claiming she is married now and will likely take the kid abroad and I am not, and father always have more rights in Pakistan (unless mother is unmarried). He gave the child to his evil sister who is single to raise the kids.. oh since my sister doesn't have anything better to do, why doesn't she raise the kids.. he has nothing to do with the kid.. My cousin is devasted.. poor thing. Mother is not always evil.
Regarding using children as Pawns, its not that they are only used in negative. It all depends on situation. few mothers use help of their children to make father get rid of their bad habits. I have one example of my uncle. He used to be a chain smoker and my aunt told her son to keep an eye on him and do whatever he can to stop his father from smoking. anyways this topic is bit serious and that example does not fit to it.
Using them as pawns simply shows poor and unfair judgement of parents, in fact they dont even deserve to be known as parents, cause they focus on only winning and for that they use whatever they can to win, but they end up being big losers. I think such parents have some sort of mental illness and in this case and they need counseling or other help to make them realize what they are actually doing.
SGC they are in Toronto, Canada :(.... I myself could not believe it at first but unfortunately it's happending :( father appealed and this s court decision they said to abide by these rules and they will review the situation after 6 months... I know both parties personally.. Father is straight as an arrow with clean record and mother is as weird and as selfish as they can get :(
I find this hard to believe, having spent 3 years in the court system myself in Toronto.
There is a lot more to what you are saying. Either you don't know all the facts in the case or you aren't sharing it here if you do know. The courts here are not like the courts in the States. They are very lenient and fair to the fathers - even those who can't even be bothered to show up in Court.
It doesn't have to be a BIG dispute. People in everyday marriages use children as pawns and collateral.
I have heard of instances where mothers have told fathers OR vice versa that "you better treat me right, buddy" or I'll poison these children minds against you or your family.
^ Don't women like that realize that by doing so they are just jeopardizing their own credibility with their children? Kids will not remain kids forever.....they will grow up and realize what has been done to them and they will resent the perpetrator.
At the end of the day the man is the child's father. That much cannot be denied. It is in the mother's own best interest to breed love, understanding and respect for him.
I was saying it in response to the previous poster. Not a general statement. Mothers are generally equipped in taking care of children better than fathers. That not is to say fathers are less important, they are equally important.
Sara516, I don't appreciate personal attacks. We are here to say what we feel, calling names or giving insults doesn't allow for free flowing conversation. Same goes for the other one.
So many egomaniacs in this forum!!!
This is just as ridiculously narrow minded and pretty offensive as the troll-post above.
I believe the parents in situations like these are hurt, somtimes they cant see past their own pain from what the other person has caused. In these situations people are looking for any type of weapon wether it be your own children, if they know by using them, either taking the child away etc. that parent knows they’re hurting the other.
Its all to do with pyscological issues, some people cant see past the hurt the other has caused hence why children get dragged into it. Nowadays its such a rare occasion when the child is not dragged in and the parents are sensible and they work everything out between them selves and not through courts.
I agree western countries have alot more leniancies against fathers who want custody of their child, unless drugs and drinking are involved majorly as evidence against that person.
its horrible for the children in the end, unless you know that person doing it you cant really give any advice or that person will turn round and say who are you to tell me how to raise my kids.
The world is full of mental people:chai: i just feel sorry for the kids in these situations