I totally understand. You don’t know how much I understand what you are feeling. I was weak too, hence, the thought of seperation made me forgive his first cheat. You HAVE to be stronger. Please hun. You cannot let yourself be treated like a doormat. Try turning your phone off. Keep yourself busy.
I know it’s hard. What I did was, I use to write emails of whatever I was feeling but I never sent them to him. It was only to let out whatever I wanted out and it refrained me from actually contacting him.
Don’t keep hurting yourself by contacting him over and over again.