Cheating, Deception and Remaining Quiet (Insaaf from Allah)

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Cheating, Deception and Remaining Quiet (Insaaf from Allah)

Lets take revenge , by being more successful than him , by being more happy than him , and by marrying most handsome guy out there . . . he must be ugly anyways . :k:

Past is past . Learn from it, grow up and move on .

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Re: Cheating, Deception and Remaining Quiet (Insaaf from Allah)

You should know that without any legal document that is marriage, he owed you nothing. Its your mistake to put so much effort into relationship, learn from it and improve yourself.

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Re: Cheating, Deception and Remaining Quiet (Insaaf from Allah)

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Re: Cheating, Deception and Remaining Quiet (Insaaf from Allah)

lol the rest of your post is fine, but essie, how in the world did HSY come into the discussion? Not every Pakistani girl is HSY-crazy, you know.

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Re: Cheating, Deception and Remaining Quiet (Insaaf from Allah)

^ This. :k:

P.S. A guy can only play with your feelings if you allow him to do it. Take responsibility for your own actions. Next time, wait until the guy’s parents send a formal rishta to your parents before getting emotionally attached and planning your entire life together.

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Re: Cheating, Deception and Remaining Quiet (Insaaf from Allah)

Bunto Kazmi then?

If they're not discussing practical issues about life, then what else can she be discussing with him besides HSY/Bunto Kazmi/Sana Safinaz etc.?

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Re: Cheating, Deception and Remaining Quiet (Insaaf from Allah)

Again, I'm surprised at that assumption. I think good advice can be given without being sarcastic or judgmental.

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Re: Cheating, Deception and Remaining Quiet (Insaaf from Allah)

Thank you all for your responses. It has helped me a lot. I know I have made tons of mistakes and I am ready to learn from them and improve myself.

I did know the guy for a while and we did talk about how we would both mange things getting married in terms of finances and knew of the upcoming responsibilities. He actually wanted his parents to contact mine. I told him my limits and he suggested to take this route.

I guess when I meant 'insaaf' what I meant to say is I really wanted something back from all this. I put in so much time and effort and I saw it all go to waste. But I guess I have learned a lot through this experience.

I now know not to put anyone before myself. I have my own goals and vision in life that should not be taken away by anyone. I am a really bright student and my post grad work is going really well. I will be starting a project for a large research based engineering company in a month and am looking forward to making the most of my life. I also know to not sacrifice my existing relationships with parents and others for someone else I am not related to. I will be careful and pay more attention to actions than just sweet talk. I will be careful on whom to trust. Most importantly I will never make these mistakes again insha'Allah.

Thank you all once again. I really appreciate it.

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Cheating, Deception and Remaining Quiet (Insaaf from Allah)

Oh no. It must be utterly horrible to be going through this. All I can say is that, the guy has probably made his mind up. He will not contact you again. I suggest you move on. How old are you? Time heals every thing, trust me...

Just take it as a mistake, a learning point, a lesson... You loved him but he didn't love you back. What's done can't be undone. It's appalling that he left you without a reason, wish you could find that out. But best you leave it. Move on with your life, study, build a career.

The best revenge/insaaf will be when one day, when he has a daughter of his own, and realizes what he did with you was horrible and repents. May Allah heal your wounds.

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Cheating, Deception and Remaining Quiet (Insaaf from Allah)

He wasn't a sincere person. You let yourself get swept away and it could have even ended well but look at for what it is, it was meant to be. Don't focus on how much he hurt you, move on from that and let him live his life however he wants. He may be passing time with someone else for more kicks, who knows. Just be at peace that it wasn't meant to be, thank god he didn't actually marry you and the next time a guy tell you he loves you but doesn't want you to pursue your dreams, big red flag. Someone who loves you will do exactly as what you did, support you no matter what. There are good people out there and this was not some kind of punishment, it was a lesson. It also doesn't meant every other guy you meet will be like him, you just have to be careful about the warning signs. You seem smart and will go on to be very successful and meet someone exactly how you dreamed iA!

If you want to really take back some things you lost, try going for some of those opportunities that you said you missed. Good luck

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Re: Cheating, Deception and Remaining Quiet (Insaaf from Allah)

Allah will do insaaf.

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Re: Cheating, Deception and Remaining Quiet (Insaaf from Allah)

Allah did insaaf. He put you away from this guy because you deserved better.

Insaaf inst always revenge but it can be in a form of help towards you. Issi Mein Khair ta !

These things happens, especially with shy and quiet girls from families with no major interactions. Such girls are not exposed to the outworld as much and thus will easily see good only in people.

MA you sound like a dutyful daughter and a soft hearted person. Allah will shower with goods moments only.

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Re: Cheating, Deception and Remaining Quiet (Insaaf from Allah)

You have already found out (from credible sources?) that he is OK and he has actually moved out of country for his higher studies so you really don't want to waste your time on him anymore even if its for tracking him and slapping him on face.

Its good that you want to end it on you terms and not his. He has played his last card already (backing off like a loser). He does not have any say in this game anymore. Its your game, you have to make rules and you have to play. If you look at it, you cant be in any better position than that. From the post its seems like your parents are really supporting Mashallah. I am sure they will help you getting back to your life. May Allah be with you.

Finally, when you leave it to Allah, you really should move on and don't insist (or wish) on seeing it because have to trust Allah that he WILL do the justice.

PS: btw, I just cant understand why some of you girls give up studies if guys ask you to? Just keep in mind, if one of us is asking you to give up your studies without any valid reason specially when you are not even married to him, we just want you to get dependent on us because that's the way we like it. Stop and think for a seconds if the guys really loves you?

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Re: Cheating, Deception and Remaining Quiet (Insaaf from Allah)

I know the best solution people are saying is to forget about him and start your own life alone. I would want an "answer" I feel like I would never be satisfied my entire life even if I marry the best good looking guy ever. I would be thinking "why??!!" my entire life, and ruining my self esteem. And as females we tend to have this eat us out inside our whole lives, because we don't like rejection (sad but true). I would hunt him down and ask him the reason why. Tell him what he did to you and then of course leave him. He really thinks he can just walk away play with your feelings and leave you like this? Does he really think you have no power to find him? However when you do talk to him, don't be too emotional.

he's a jerk, he never loved you. You were a time pass for him, and everything was indeed fake. and although it hurts you need to realize it was not real, so why waste your tears, energy for someone who doesn't even think of you anymore and is after other girls? You're a young girl, you're saying your strengths yourself...im sure you can find someone who whole heartedly loves you, and like someone said, Allah stopped you from being with him because you're a good girl and he isn't a good person...a guy like that will never be happy breaking girls hearts like that.