and in consequence why are “we” such suckers for it?
Dear Anonymous Guppy:
Most guys can be extremely charming when they want. Charm often comes in the form of compliments …. and being “wooed” is what women often initially crave … compliments and someone who really does make you think, “wow, I’m special!!!”. I know this will sound like a bunch of crap, but it’s somewhat true. We are suckers for it cause they say things we like to hear. “You are so beautiful” … and all other sugary sweet stuff that makes go all warm and hazy. That and receiving unexpected flowers or being whisked to a ridiculously expensive restaurant. All of this stuff is charming indeed and it makes us vulnerable … cause it makes us feel “special”.
What we should really be looking out for is will this guy really be there for me when I need him? Is he being serious or just mucking about? Does he actually listen to my thoughts and really know anything about me as a person? In turn, do you really know anything about him? Or will he do a runner the first sign of trouble, which automatically discards all the charming stuff done in the past.
What we as women should really be focussing on is often overlooked. Try to see him as a person too instead of as the guy that makes you melt like butter. Actually talk to one another and have conversations that go over and beyond the flattery and charm. He needs to get to know you too as you do him. Talk about things that interest you … and get to know eachother as friends/people.
Please discuss. Any additional feedback for the guppy will be appreciated.
True Belle … very true. How would you go about telling the difference between a “charmer” and “gentlemen” considering the definition of each can often overlap. Could it be their intentions?
I will discuss, debate, expound on it later but for now, there are no charming men for me (charming as in looks). Unfortunatley I always fall for wierdos like myself. I would not be really interested in him if he falls for my looks....but there has to be a bond, a feeling at a mataphysical level ...
Charming as in ways and attitude...showering a woman with praise
I would rather prefer a gentleman who comments once a while with grace and dignity and BELIEVES and MEANS what he says even when the going gets tough; then a cry baby who clings to my shoulder when he needs me, showering me with oh la-la all those words and huge claims only to take them back once the things go awry
The charmers sound too good to be true. If a guy is too good to be true he isn’t true! They will always flatter you and you will probably be able to detect a lack of sincerity in their words.
I personally do not feel comfortbale if someone praises me a little too much. A little bit is alright.
And yes I had meant to agree with Belle. I have no idea how I came up with Xtreme. Totally s.h.o.c.k.e.d!
p.s. Reading the topic I was thinking we will be getting a post on charming men as in how to charm men. Not that I need any tips
A charmer usually shows no interest in your life, or about your family or friends. Just give the charmer a difficult hypothetical situation and he’ll run off, whereas a gentleman always sticks around. It’s fun to play the game back with a charmer once you sense what they are trying to pull, give them a taste of their own medicine.
