Characteristics of Good Company

Society Religion & Philosophy
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Asalaamu Alaikum,

Characteristics that determine a good companionship seem to be missing in
society as a whole, in this current day and age. Yet it is most vital that we
recapture those attributes which were common amongst the Companions
(radi’allaahu 'anhum) of the Messenger (salallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam). Not only
is this vital to be successful in all walks of life, but also as far as ethics
and morals are concerned in Islaam such principals can only be beneficial
Insha’Allaah.

This article is by Shaikh Badrud-Deen al-Ghazzee (d.984H) and has been taken
from Al-Ibaanah magazine (Issue No.2, Rabee? ul-Awwal 1416H, August
1995).

Although the article is arguably long, for convenience it will be posted in 14
parts (13 are very short).

May Allaah grant us all the benefits from it.

The Manners of Companionship (part 1 of 14)

The Shaikh - rahimahullaah - said: [1]

May Allaah make our affairs good - that the manners of companionship and good
relations are of various types, of which I will explain, such as will show the
person of intellect the manners of the Believers and the Pious; and come to know
that Allaah - the Most Perfect, the Most high - has made them a mercy and
helpers toward each other, which is why the Messenger of Allaah salallaahu
'alaihi wa sallam said: “The example of the Believer, in their mutual love and
mercy is like the example of a body, if one part feels pain then all the body
suffers in sleeplessness and fever.” [2]

And he - 'alaihis-salaam - said: “The Believer to the Believer is like a solid
building, one part supporting the other.” [3]

The Prophet - 'alaihis-salaam - also said: “The souls are arrayed armies, so
those who knew each one another before, will be friendly.” [4]

So if Allaah intends good for His servants, he grants him the companionship of
the people of Sunnah, righteousness and Deen; and keeps him free from the
companionship of the people of innovation. The Prophet - 'alaihis-salaam - said:
“A person is upon the Deen of his friend, so let one of you look to whom he
keeps as a friend.” [5]

“About a person do not ask, but ask about his companion;
Since every companion follows his friend.”

  1. From Aadaabul-'Ishrah wa Dhikrus-Suhbatil wal-Ukhwah (pp.9-20), with
    checking and authentication of hadeeth based upon that of Shaikh 'Alee Hasan
    al-Halabee and also Shaikh Masoor Hasan.
  2. Related by al-Bukhaaree (no.6011) and Muslim (no.2586), from an-Nu’maan ibn
    Basheer radhi’allaahu ?anhu.
  3. Related by al-Bukhaaree (no.481) and Muslim (no. 2585), from Abu Moosa
    al-Ash?aree radhi’allaahu 'anhu.
  4. Saheeh: Related by al-Bukhaaree (6/369) in ta?leeq form, from Aaishah
    radhi’allaahu 'anhaa. It was connected by Abu Ya’laa in al-Musnad
    (no.4381) with an isnaad whose narrators are from as-Sahee - as occurs in
    al-Majma’ (8/88) of al-Haythamee.
  5. Hasan: Related by Ahmad (2/303), Abu Dawood 9n0.4812) and at-Tirmidhee
    (2484), from Abu Hurairah radh’allaahu 'anhu. Imaam an-Nawawee authenticated it
    in Riyaadhus-Saaliheen (no.174).
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The Manners of Companionship (part 2 of 14)

Good Manners

Good manners with the brothers, peers and companions, following Allaah's
Messenger salallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam as he said, when it was said to him: What
is the best of what a person has been given? So he replied: "Good manners." [1]

  1. Saheeh: Related by Wakee' in az-Zuhd (no.423), Ibn Hibbaan (1/427) and at-Tabaraanee in al-Kabeer (1/147), from Usaamah ibn Shareek radhi'allaahu 'anhu. Al-Haafidh al-'Iraaqee authenticated it in Takhreejul-Ihyaa (2/157)
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The Manners of Companionship (part 3 of 14)

** Making One's Opinion Good**

From the manners of companionship is behaving well regarding the faults that he
sees of his companions, since Ibn Maazin said: "The Believer seeks excuses for
his brothers, whilst the Hypocrite seeks out their faults."

And Hamdoon al-Qassar said: "If one of your brothers commits an error then seek
ninety excuses for him, and if not then you are the blameworthy one."

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The Manners of Companionship (part 4 of 14)

Companionship with the Believers

To keep companionship with one whose Deen you trust and who is trustworthy, both
inwardly and outwardly. Allaah - the Most High - says: "You will not find any
people who believe in Allaah and the Last day, making friendship with those who
oppose Allaah and His Messenger, even though they were their fathers, sons,
brothers or their relatives. For such He has written eemaan (faith) in their
hearts, and strengthened them with a spirit (proofs, light and guidance) from
Himself. And We will admit them into Gardens beneath which rivers flow, to dwell
therein forever. Allaah is pleased with them, as they are with Him. They are the
party of Allaah, indeed it is the Party of Allaah that will be successful."
[Surah al-Mujaadalah 58:22]

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The Manners of Companionship (part 5 of 14)

Forms of Companionship

For the Shaikhs and elders: with respect service and to carry out their needs.

For those of the same peer group and those of the 'middle rank': with sincere
advice, giving what you have and being prepared to carry out wishes.

For the students and younger ones: by guidance, teaching of manners, carrying
out what knowledge demands, guidance to the manners of the Sunnah, rulings on
matters of the heart, and to guide them to develop good manners.

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Asalaamu alaikum Brother Yacoob,

I continue to read this series of posts with much interest. May we all benefit from it, Ameen.

Jazaak Allaah khairun.

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The Manners of Companionship (part 6 of 14)

*Overlooking Mistakes *

From the manners of companionship is overlooking mistakes of the brothers and
not reprimanding them. Al-Fudayl ibn 'Iyyaad (d.187 H) said: "Forgetting the
harms caused by the brothers, causes your love of them to persist."

So it is biding upon the Believer that he avoids seekers of this world, since
they will bring him down to the level of seeking it, and this will distance him
from his salvation and it will distance him from remaining alert and being aware
of it. Rather, he must strive hard in attaining the companionship of the good
and the seekers of the Hereafter. Therefore, Dhun-Noon (d.245H) said to the one
whom he advised: "Accompany one whom you will be safe from outwardly, and whom -
when you see him - it helps you in doing good and reminds you of your Lord."

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The Manners of Companionship (part 7 of 14)

Agreement with the Brothers

And from them is: not to differ much with the brothers, but continue agreeing
with the brothers in those things allowed by knowledge and the Sharee'ah. Abu
'Uthmaan said: "Agreeing with brothers is better than showing compassion to
them."

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The Manners of Companionship (part 8 of 14)

Leaving of Envy

That he does not envy the signs of Allaah?s bounty upon them. Rather, he should
be happy with that and praise Allaah for it, just as he would praise Allaah if
it were seen upon himself. Allaah - the Most High - censures the envious one:
"Or do they envy men for what Allaah has given them from His bounty?" [Surah
an-Nisaa 4:54]

The Prophet salallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Do not envy one another." [1]

  1. Related by al-Bukhaaree (10/484) and Muslim (no.2564) from Abu Hurairah.

[This message has been edited by Yacoob (edited July 20, 1999).]

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The Manners of Companionship (part 9 of 14)

To Keep a Feeling of Modesty

That he has hayaa (shame and modesty) at all times, as he - 'alaihis-salaam -
said: "Eemaan (faith) has sixty or seventy-odd branches, the most excellent of
them is the witnessing that none has the right to be worshipped except Allaah,
and their lowest branch is removing something harmful from the road, and hayaa
is from eemaan." [1]

He - 'alaihis-salaam - also said: "Hayaa (shame and modesty) is from eemaan and
eemaan is from Paradise. Speaking obscenely is from coarseness and coarseness is
in the Fire." [2]

  1. Related by al-Bukhaaree (1/44) and Muslim (1/46).
  2. Saheeh: Related by Ahmad (2/501) and at-Tirmidhee (no.2077) with a saheeh isnaad, from Abu Hurairah.
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The Manners of Companionship (part 10 of 14)

Companionship of the Dignified

To accompany one whom he has feeling of respect for, so that this prevents him
from acts contrary to the Sharee'ah. Alee - radhi'allaahu anhu - said: "Enliven
your feeling of hayaa (shame), by sitting with those whom you feel shame
before."

Ahmad ibn Hanbal (d.241H) - rahimahullaah - said: "I have not been led into
calamity except by accompanying those before whom I do not feel shame."

The Manners of Companionship (part 11 of 14)

Showing Happiness

To have: cheerfulness of the face, kindness of the tongue, largeness of the
heart, outspreading the hands, with-holding anger, leaving off pride, keeping
people's honour in mind, showing happiness
at their companionship and
brotherhood.

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The Manners of Companionship (part 12 of 14)

Companionship of the Wise Scholar

From good companionship is: that he does not accompany except a Scholar, or a
person who is mild, intelligent and has knowledge. Dhun-Noon - rahimullaah -
said: "Allaah has not disrobed anyone of His servants of a robe better than
intellect, and has not adorned him with a necklace better than knowledge, nor
adorned him with anything better than mildness. And the completeness of that is
taqwaa (fear of Allaah)."

The Manners of Companionship (part 13 of 14)

Giving Sincere Advice

Having a clean heart with regards to the brothers and advising them, as Allaah -
the Most High - said: "Except he who comes to Allaah with a clean heart." [Surah
ash-Shu'araa 26:89]

Saree as-Saqatee (d.257H) - rahimahullaah - said: "One of the best of manners of
the righteous is having a good heart as regards the brothers and to give them
sincere advice."

The Manners of Companionship (part 14 of 14)

Not Breaking Promises

Since this is from hypocrisy, and he 'alaihi-salaatu wa sallaam said: "The sign
of the hypocrite is three: When he speaks he lies, when he makes a promise he
breaks it and when he is entrusted he acts deceptively." [1]

Sufyaan ath-Thawree (d.164H) - rahimahullaah - said: "Do not make a promise to
your brother then break it, so that love turns to hate."

  1. Related by al-Bukhaaree (5/289) and Muslim (1/76).
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Asalamu Alaikum,

That's all folks... Insha'Allah we will be in the company of people with these characteristics, and we can be people with these characteristics for our friends.

W'salam

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Assalaamu 'alaikum,

Jazaak'allaah khairun.

kindest regards,
W'salaam