I have a problem (well more like a hundred but let’s just deal wiht this one for now).
I"ve taken way too much **** from peopl eover time, “friends”, relatives, etc. I stay quiet for fear of saying the wrong thing or making an idiot of myself, fume quietly, and hten vent about it to friends, husband etc. Obv–this gets old over time, and I need to do something about it.
These days its work woes. I don’t want to get into too much detail over my job duties, but just to explain the situation quickly–there are some rules that I have to uphold. It’s not a hard job at all. Majority of ppl are cool.
But every single day there are some individuals/a small group who make such a big fuss. Every time when I remind them, tehy act so surprised as if they’ve never herad it before and they act insulted that they have to follow the rules. All i can do is remind them verbally, and for that I get mocked, made fun of etc. I politeily explain to them the rules and they argue the same thing again and we just go in circles. It gets to the point that I get so pissed off and I can’t even say anything that is really on my mind (like “F you [curse] [curse] [curse]”-well Im pretty sure that wud get me fired..however well deserved it’d be)
I know to make it just easier for myself I COULD say screw hte rules and let em do whatever, but firstly, that would be disrespecting my coworkers. If one doesn’t enforce the rules, ppl take advantage of it to give the next one a hard time about it. and, secondly, it becomes an issue of ego and pride for me–apparently they don’t do this with some of the others. I made a complaint to my boss (and will email him too), but this is beyond that..
Basically what I’m trying to ask (and not bore you guys) is how do I handle a situation like this? Or , to put it more succinctly, become more aggressive and assertive? I never know what to say or what to do and i’m getting sick of it…kya karoon?
Re: Channelling pissiness into aggressiveness and assertiveness
So whats the cost to the business if those rules were never existed? What can you officially do to make the idiots suffer ? Is your boss on-board with you on these rules ? are these rules for the good of your company or for the ease of your daily work? You can make a very good case if it's all about your company but It will be impossible if it's all about making your daily work easy for you.
Re: Channelling pissiness into aggressiveness and assertiveness
Sara, it’s not the nice people that get taken advantage of, it’s the ones that fail to speak their minds. You have to make it clear if it bothers you. Be a little selfish, forget them for a sec or how you will sound, just make it known!
If you make your colleagues feel like they have no other option but to respect your authority, then it’d be super. How do you do that? Well, make an example out of someone. It’s so mean and harsh I know but instead of repeating the samething everyday, just pick one moron and make an example out of him/her, put them on the spot, hold them liable and until you don’t feel like it’s got through to him/her, continue.
Soon, others will back off. I have more things to say later…
Re: Channelling pissiness into aggressiveness and assertiveness
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I’ve worked in the service industry, I don’t have a problem making people follow rules… you just tell them nicely and firmly. Or not so nicely and firmly.
Why do you think they don’t listen when you say it and listen to another colleague? You might have some idea…
But every single day there are some individuals/a small group who make such a big fuss. Every time when I remind them, tehy act so surprised as if they've never herad it before and they act insulted that they have to follow the rules. All i can do is remind them verbally, and for that I get mocked, made fun of etc. I politeily explain to them the rules and they argue the same thing again and we just go in circles. It gets to the point that I get so pissed off and I can't even say anything that is really on my mind (like "F you [curse] [curse] [curse]"-well Im pretty sure that wud get me fired..however well deserved it'd be)
Here is the problem girly. Stop politely explaining - leave absolutely no room for arguments.
Don't get pissed and if you do, don't hide it - make it known you're pissed and why. No need to be soo polite, Sara. :)
You have been aggressive in the sense that you do remind them of the rules and have even complained to your boss. And hopefully, if your boss is in agreement with your concerns, things will improve. So these disrespectful people are clients or customers?
Can you suggest to your boss to put a HUGE sign with rules that is clearly visible........and can be pointed out to customers who feel they can get away with breaking them. That's one suggestion. Pointing the written rules to the the customer OUT LOUD will make them feel like an IDIOT......and the other customers will learn from it.
Don't be mean, just be firm and LOUD,** get in their non-conformist faces if you have to*. *"Excuse me, Ma'am. HELLO. The rules are clearly posted and it is OBVIOUS that YOU have NOT followed them. Please follow the instructions to help make things run smoothly for us and YOUR FELLOW CUSTOMERS" Say it **loud **enough for other customers around her to hear. They're gonna be too embarrassed to follow the stupid customer's NON-EXAMPLE.
The way to be aggressive is to be firm and louder, in my opinion. I was more soft-spoken before, but teaching rowdy adolescents has helped me find my voice.....and it's a little tough at first........but a loud firm voice succeeds in commanding attention and making u seem serious. Picture the customer as a younger sibling getting on your last nerves........and just give it to them.....verbally!**
Is there a security guard that you can call upon to escort these customers out? Just the out loud mention of a security guard will discourage others from breaking the rules.
Tell the customers in a condescending tone, "Your requests will NOT be handled/processed efficiently unless the rules are followed. It helps to keep everything organized for us and the customers. If the rules are absolutely impossible for you to adhere to......then there are OTHER services which unlike **us don't value *organization.........and that might suit *you** much better."
Re: Channelling pissiness into aggressiveness and assertiveness
I had a prblem like this when I was in high school. I used to work for a local gym as a receptionist and the gym I worked at was a family gym. Meaning, the people had been coming for well over ten years and knew the management/staff well. Most of the time when they came in, I simply swiped their card and let them in. Soon after I started though, the management changed rules and strictly required me to ask for photo IDs. There were no exceptions, absolutely none. I had to ask for photo ID along with membership cards from people that used to bring me donuts for breakfast. It sounds like such a small problem but this rule deeeeeeeeply offended a lot of the members who were old and loyal. I got major attitudes, arguments, people throwing their cards on the reception desks and walking away, stomping, I was complained about, etc. You name it.
BUT those were the rules. I wasnt hired to babysit or tend to someone's temper tantrums, I was hired to do my job so every evening, I greeted everyone the same way. "Good evening, ID please?" with a huge smile. I got labled the ID Police and Uncle Frankie was so upset he didnt bring me Canoli for a few weeks. However, after a while of seeing that I wasnt changing my ways or bending the rules, I started getting some cooperation. People gave me less of a hard time and started to attach their membership cards to their State ID (people barely use it anyway).
Bear in mind, I didnt change a single thing about me. I simply stuck to the rules, made sure policies were posted clearly for all to see and that I had the support of my management.
Surely you have one on behalf of the employees and how they deal with clients?
Stop being so nice for one thing, be formal and to the point. Speak to the higher up in charge and tell them your problem - let them now that the customers are being difficult
then with the customers be hard and straight forward if they dont want the services tell them that if they are not satisfied with the rules of the company you cannot accommodate them and from there just move out of the picture
alot of women get this kind of harassment simply because they are women - I know a head teacher in Canada who the whole staff of her school rebuffed simply because she was Pakistani and female
she has a hard time dealing with them but she stays focused and remains staunch about her dealings -she also keeps a strict set of SOP’s that she sticks to the walls to remind people of the rules
Keep going strong :k: ignore the unreasonable people and thing about those who are good customers - there are all sorts of people in this world and it is our misfortune to have to deal with the more unsavory characters as well - mind you I am impressed that you have put up with it for so long - if were in your place I would have let them have a catty remark or two
Re: Channelling pissiness into aggressiveness and assertiveness
Be polite but firm. I deal with college students every day at work, which makes me fear for society at large. :) They rarely read the directions, and generally require a bit of hand-holding. Over the years I have learned to politely state expectations/rules up front, and then refuse to waver (unless there is a situation which warrants it). People will generally behave as expected, so if you set clear expectations, they will usually follow through.
I’ve worked in the service industry, I don’t have a problem making people follow rules… you just tell them nicely and firmly. Or not so nicely and firmly.