p.s. The following might not include my personal opinions, just your views are required on the random situations mentioned.
In the old times, one of the trait of a hypocrite was to change one’s appearance, way of thinking, and way of talking in accordance to the gathering they attended, to become the most popular person in the gathering which they attended. It was considered worst then the person who is not good but doesn’t deceive others about his own identity.
Do you consider the following acts as “contrasting” and part of the above?
Being usually a strict observer of Hijab but not in weddings and gatherings involving na-mehrams?
Being most popular in two contrasting gatherings, e.g. Praised for being a “consistent” emotional speaker in discussions on faith but also liked for his dirtiest of the jokes in other gatherings.
Criticizing other women for not covering their head, but also posting one’s own wedding pics on an online forums with mixed gender members.
Usually not caring much about following the “basics” of ones beliefs / religion but speaking and behaving all religious in a gathering / discussion where it is a compliment to be called a religious person
This thread is in no way directed towards any member of this forum. I might also be included in one of such categories. You may add to the list, on the basis of your personal observations so that we may learn and correct our daily life mistakes.
Should we be what we are no matter where we are or change ourselves for achieving more compliments ?
I've seen many people that do all three things you've mentioned.
And Yes we should stay who we ARE. But I guess doing that is so random now that eveyone does it and we've become so accustomed to it that we don't even notice it anymore.
^ True. Some people living away from their home country even use nicknames instead of their original name, they change their own lifestyle and personality to such an extent that it is difficult for a person to know their religion and home country until they mention it themselves because in the "process of change"they are carried away so much that they even compromise on their own beliefs in certain areas.
Re: Changing one's identity to make oneself admirable for a gathering ?
^Well said, but this social adaptation for a Muslim should not go to such an extent that he might not be able to qualify for the hadith "A Muslim can be recognized from a distance" or the hadith " Momin is such a person whose behavior (actions and words) reminds you of Allah (s.w.t). Of course these hadiths were not narrated for people who show off, but unintentionally qualify due to their sincerity with the sunnah of the prophet (saw).
p.s. Again it is a general discussion and I might perfectly qualify for such hypocrites, so kindly no one should take it as an offense.
Re: Changing one's identity to make oneself admirable for a gathering ?
^ I agree. To be like that is not very bad unless we are sincerely willing to improve ourselves and try our level best to be as less included in such categories as possible.
Islam is black or white...it does not allow any middle ground. You can't be a perfect Muslim, and drink alcohol for example--they cannot coexist. This is why I don't advertise myself as a Muslim...this might seem really tragic and wrong...but I think it is worse to wear an external sign of Islam, like a hijab, and then attend sex and the city, which endorses concepts completely opposite to that of hijab. It confuses non-Muslims and sends out the wrong message.
I do not wear hijab...I really liked wearing it since I was 9 years old, but at 16 I decided it was hypocritical of me to wear a hijab and watch Friends, benefit from an interest-based economy, spend time with fellow male students, etc. when I had the option to go to a more Islamic country. My dad also bugged me to not wear it. I remember I wore hoodies and baseball caps for a whole year before I got used to it.
The ironic thing was that the hijab was a total guy magnet for me, my white friends were amazed that i always got asked out because i was a total dork with a unibrow and oversize glasses. my point is that the purpose of hijab was sort of defeated in an all-white town, as it drew attention to my looks rather than removing it.
I think social adaptation is necessary in some instances...this does not necessarily mean hypocrisy. For example, if I wear a tunic and jeans in the US but an abaya in Saudi, does that mean i'm a hypocrite? both dresses are Islamic but i am changing myself for the environment. My point is sometimes adjusting to the enviro should be encouraged, not condemned as hypocrisy.
Islam is black or white...it does not allow any middle ground. You can't be a perfect Muslim, and drink alcohol for example--they cannot coexist. This is why I don't advertise myself as a Muslim...this might seem really tragic and wrong...but I think it is worse to wear an external sign of Islam, like a hijab, and then attend sex and the city, which endorses concepts completely opposite to that of hijab. It confuses non-Muslims and sends out the wrong message.
I do not wear hijab...I really liked wearing it since I was 9 years old, but at 16 I decided it was hypocritical of me to wear a hijab and watch Friends, benefit from an interest-based economy, spend time with fellow male students, etc. when I had the option to go to a more Islamic country. My dad also bugged me to not wear it. I remember I wore hoodies and baseball caps for a whole year before I got used to it.
The ironic thing was that the hijab was a total guy magnet for me, my white friends were amazed that i always got asked out because i was a total dork with a unibrow and oversize glasses. my point is that the purpose of hijab was sort of defeated in an all-white town, as it drew attention to my looks rather than removing it.
I think social adaptation is necessary in some instances...this does not necessarily mean hypocrisy. For example, if I wear a tunic and jeans in the US but an abaya in Saudi, does that mean i'm a hypocrite? both dresses are Islamic but i am changing myself for the environment. My point is sometimes adjusting to the enviro should be encouraged, not condemned as hypocrisy.
Re: Changing one's identity to make oneself admirable for a gathering ?
anthropology describes this 'change' as..cultural/social adaptation...it has been happening from prehistoric times..is happening now..and will happen in the future..
it is in human nature to expand boundaries...and move away from its origin..ironically..only to find itself...
adapting is part of human nature.
Identity crisis on the other hand is an extreme phase of adaptation...more of a mutation..if you will.....
a balanced..well headed human being will adapt him/herself according to their belief system...
Re: Changing one’s identity to make oneself admirable for a gathering ?
I be rocking Zegna spring collection two button suits at the casual gatherings like after work parties and lounges with the hair up fonz style, rakish loafers . During the business hours I stick with Hugo Boss euro cut slim suits, via spiga narrow shoes, hair slicked back to show I am all about the business.
Too many guys from work show up wearing their day suits, hair all moussed out, cologne fading…but not me, I take the time to switch up the gear so people know what its all about:k:
I agree that one should try one's level best to adjust oneself in the environment one lives in, but at times people like me don't even realize that they are so much carried away by the flow of trends that by the time nature gives them a jolt to bring them back to senses, they realize that they were disconnected from their beliefs for a long time while in search of mirage in the desert.
Re: Changing one's identity to make oneself admirable for a gathering ?
I know that people can do all four of those things and the first one bothers me the most ...but then when i think of it deeply i realize atleast the girl who wears a scarf regularyly but not at a wedding is better then me ...someone who dont wear a scarf at al....
