hmmm… i was going through this thread whr ppl were sharing there thoughts on relations with their parents… its gud to know so many ppl are close to their parents…
my question here is being a gal or a guy…(mostly in the girls case)
doesnt falling in love change your entire realtionship with ur family…
i mean if ur parents find out ur in love and they dont agree
they stop trusting u
restrictions
change in behaviour
less of freedom for choices…
so many other things… wat do u do thn in this case?
As a girl, let me see what and how I can actually answer your question.
First thing first, falling in love is not doing something bad. Its an emotion that everyone in their lives experience and indeed is a beautiful feelin. Now, with that we as a muslims have to keep in mind that what kind a boundries do we have? Are we allowed to date with that specific person? My answer would be NO!
Now, comes to parents reaction part. Mostly, it depends on how strong a relationship you have with ur parents and how much of a trust they have on u. If u like someone, you should take either ur mom or dad or anyone closer to u in ur home and tell them. Tell them with respect and love with the reasons that u have liking that particular person.
And IF the parents are understandable they will listen to u and I hope give a shot in chekin the person out, there is no harm in that!
From what i have seen, parents start putting restrictions, ONLY IF u break their trust! It also should be our responsiblity that when our parents gives us soooo much of love, care and trust, we should respect it and always keep in the back of our mind that would not do anything that would cause them to hurt and loose faith on us!
Remember one thing, no matter how strict parents can be and how they stop trusting or something, they will always love u. Parents are the only one who CANNOT stop loving u int heir lives even though they appear the different way from outside! Try to regain their respect and trust back, insha'allah thing will get better!
yeah it's true that some things change! Let me give u the example of some1 that I know.... well, she met her guy online - her mom supported her throughout. The moment her dad found out about everything (more than a year later), he was very dissappointed and even felt cheated! He didnt talk to his daughter and even with his wife for many days till the daughter did something really bad to get her dad's attention back... she fainted and remained in a sore state for many days. Majbooran the dad had to take her side then..........
But at what cost...? He lost her and she lost him and the love he had for his daughter.
You leave the love shuv stuff until you're out of school, have a job, and are standing on your own two feet. As long as you are living under their roof you have to abide by their rules and their preferences.
yeah but wats the way out here....
is it always going to be like this???
i have this with my parents..
and i dont really like it...in fact not at all.. but in order for us to tlk i have to give up... smth... which is alreay a part of me and i cant do nothing about it..
i duno wat to do...
You know I never knew/thot this was possible… what is wrong with desis that they think pasand karna is so bad ??? Long time ago when i told my mother about this guy i liked , i didnt get any of this crap. I told a friend about it and she was like “wow i’m so jealous, my mother wud never accept that i liked someone.” So no i don’t get it why are parents so stupid that they think liking someone is teh end of teh world and its so horrible… parents like that are control freaks and they’re really not concerned about their kids happiness, just their own.
I dont know why i feel you still need a lot of time to think things through. If guy really loves you then he should understand that girl's parents should agree with the rishta as well. I strongly feel he is playing with you.
I believe you mentioned some where last time he is close to 27 and you are 21. My friend if being a 27 years old who cant understand how important it is for girl to have her parents. And in laws to respect her i am sorry but he has no repsect for you.
I think you are losing your parents for no reason.
Hun graduate form college, get a nice job, explore yourself, find the inner you. And then if this guy is still around great...
I am not sure how long you have known this person for.
But If you just met him my friend he has been in love before....
umm...
nia.. the thing is i know him from 3 years and we have been in realtion ship ever since... and my parents know since then.. boith our parents are well in formed infact.. the other day my dad said it out loud to me i dont want the guy cuz i cant get a visa to india.. i was like GOD!!!! whr do u deposit brains whn they are needed the most..
the only issue he has is tht hes from india...
bas...
umm…
nia.. the thing is i know him from 3 years and we have been in realtion ship ever since… and my parents know since then.. boith our parents are well in formed infact.. the other day my dad said it out loud to me i dont want the guy cuz i cant get a visa to india.. i was like GOD!!! whr do u deposit brains whn they are needed the most..
the only issue he has is tht hes from india…
bas…
why do people place all the responsibility on the parents.
you dont have to be happy with their perspectives and they dont have to be happy with your choices.
make a decision regardless..knowing that circumstances are not ideal, and not everyone is in agreement.
not all decisions in life are safe and have black and white answers
..pick the guy, piss the folks off ..temporarily or long term
..pass on the guy and be pissed of at your folks for not approving your choice
..find a middle ground..
whatever it is, your decision..thats how the grown up world is.
Long time ago when i told my mother about this guy i liked , i didnt get any of this crap. I told a friend about it and she was like “wow i’m so jealous, my mother wud never accept that i liked someone.” So no i don’t get it why are parents so stupid that they think liking someone is teh end of teh world and its so horrible… parents like that are control freaks and they’re really not concerned about their kids happiness, just their own. 