Chand Ashaar (From other thread)

[KKF]

Re: Chand Ashaar (From other thread)

@diwana

Badal Kar Diwanay Ka Hum Bhes Har Din
Siaanon Ki Hum Par Karam Dekhtay Hain

pahle misr’e meN “Diwaane” ke bajaaye agar lafz “divaanoN” iste’maal kareN to ziyaada mauzooN hogaa jab k dusre misr’e meN lafz "HAM" ko “KHUD” se mutaabaadil kar len to bahtar hogaa

Woh Nadaan Hain Jo Kitaabon Se PaRh Kar
Zamaane Ke Narm o Garam Dekhtay Hain
**
pahlaa misr’a chuN k Khaarij az bahr hai is liye ise yuN kar leN to kaisaa rahegaa?

**vo naadaaN haiN jo ahl-e-maktab se paRh kar

More in same behar and Qaafia

Hai Bikhra Hua Husn Saare Jahaan Mein
Hijabi Ko Kiyon Bay Sharam Dekhtay Hain?
**
yahaN asl, talaffuz lafz-e-sharam kaa**** sharm**** hai…is liye yeh Ghair qaanoonii qaafiya hai…ise badal leN**

Jo Taabir Hogi, Darakhshaan Hi Hogi
Har Ek Khwab Mein Hum Sanam Dekhtay Hain
**
waah…ONE ke do version haiN urdu meN EK aur IK…aapke she’r meN EK out of meter hai is liye IK use kareN to sab Theek ho jaayegaa.**
(Filbadeeh)

waah, bahot Khoob…achchhii koshish hai lihaaza mashq-e-suKHan jaarii rakhiye. aapke andar shaa’irii ke tamaam-tar jaraaseem maujood haiN maashaa Allah