Sorry for the dramatic title, but my question is this:
So suppose you are a stay home mom of 3 little kids. You’re very young and energetic, but have been raised with the beliefs that a woman’s place is at home where her most important task is to feed and wash, cook and clean. Now let’s say your husband is a loving, young professional who works hard for a living and would like to do something extra in life to help make ends meet…say some consulting work he gets on the side where there is potential to make a decent side income. Given that he does have soem student loans, a car payment, a home they want to buy, parents to support back home as well, and children of his own, extra income would really help at this point.
BUT, the lady does not allow him to do anything extra because she needs him to help with the kids after work. He tries to reason with her, help everywhere else possible around the home etc, but she’s put her foot down.
How would you as a husband communicate your views to her. Or do you think they should just learn to survive in what they have?
She shouldn't have any of those fears as her husband is a very well balanced man. Her in laws are fairly well off are over at her place as much as her parents are. She herself says that her inlaws are great folks and very considerate.
I think her fear is his time commitment. She has trouble handling her kids by herself and wants help.
I know mom's who hire "mother's helpers"......usually high school or college kids....someone have them come in for a few hours every day....others even them come in every other day or whatever. The "helpers" help the mom with kids and basic housework.....basically give her a helping hand. With the helpers being students, they're generally inexpensive.
Well I kinda see both perspectives here: The wife justifiably needs help and is looking to spend quality time with the husband, while the husband has concerns of fiscal nature. Maybe 2 years ago I would've agreed that the wife is being extreme, but these days I see that important work-life balance.
Sure they can help but speaking from a purely finance perspective, lets say the husband made $100 and they ended up paying an extra $20 for the additional help for the wife:
100 - 20 = 80 dollars after the "extra help" tax. Not to mention the lost time and the long term costs of not being there for your wife and kids. Hey she needs a break too, and should not have to be a single parent all the time.
His wife is right in her own side if she and kids need to spend time with him, it is not only his wife responsibility to look after the kids, father also plays an important part in upbringing children, but yes if they have some liabilities to pay then wife must understand and have patience for some time until their liabilities get pay off so that their future can be secure..
The wife can try to look for part time work for herself and let the husband have some time with the family. Teaching is a good option. There are other freelance work options available. Not willing to work herself and stopping the husband to earn extra income is kinda unreasonable from the wife's part. The husband can try to discuss this option with the wife. 'Either you work extra or let mee work extra hours' will solve the problem hopefully.
begum told you everything?
Xtwo, correct.