Ofcourse he likes you Munni. Holding hands is very intimate and a definite sign that hes interested. If you dont like him, let him know. You should have let go of his hand right from the beginning. Tthe fact that you let him hold it might give him the wrong impression.
You had dinner with the guy, went out on a walk at the beach in moon-light, let him hold your hand, wondering if he still likes you after 2 years and then have the audacity to come and discuss this on the net? Give me a break Munni.
My analysis of the situation is that you are leading the guy, totally. Whatever happened 2 years ago made it pretty clear to you that this person is interested, you said no but you are definitely giving vibes that leads this person into believing that you are still interested.
This person acted in a gentlemanly fashion and told you in advance that he is going to hold your hand, don’t forget he asked you if you felt dizzy to which you replied in the affirmative.
What I find distasteful is your coming to the net and disclosing this entirely private moment. If you are not smart enough to judge this on your own then may be you should not be going out of the house and meeting men till you are mature enough.
You guys baachi ko taang maath karo.. she asked ... we answered now let it be ... :)
I knew I would get slack from this post, but posted anyway.
Roman, please dont tell me that you have never experienced where you have made something clear to someone, and still the person doesnt seem to get what you are saying. Making it clear refers to my idea of what I did, not on how the person perceived it. To me I made it clear. I dont have much experience with boys, so no I am no relationship expert.
Also, he insisted on the walk on the beach, not me. I have gone to the beach with "just friends" before, and they have remained "just friends". I dont see why someone must read a relationship into such a move. The whole point of the dinner was business, which is what we discussed the entire night, even at the beach, apart from a few other things.
Ahad, I agree that I shouldnt have let him hold my hand, but I guess I didnt want to argue for 20 minutes over it, which I probably should have. I did not think he might like me until that moment, no other way to explain then that.
I am not saying he wasnt a gentleman, I dont believe I stated anywhere in my post anything offensive about him.
About this being distasteful, please Ahad. This is a board, this is a relationship forum. Everything we discuss here can be considered distasteful if you want to go there, not to mention some of the other forums and what is stated there. I havent given names, and I havent insulted the guy. I have asked for advice and have gotten it, and appreciate it, even the advice from those who disagree with what I did. Simple as that.
If I dont go out and meet people, where would you suggest I learn on how to deal with them? It amazes me that some individuals think I should be a relationship expert before I even go out and meet someone.
Have had several discussions with guys, and what bothers me is the fact that they assume a lot about a girl, and her motives. I atleast questioned his motives, and questioned him. I believe that was better than just pinning something on a guy without giving them a chance to explain. And when he did explain, he stated it was nothing more than preventing me to fall. Go figure.
Roman, please dont tell me that you have never experienced where you have made something clear to someone, and still the person doesnt seem to get what you are saying
When I know someone likes me and I'm not interested, I make it clear with words followed by behavior in terms of not going out on friggin' dinners and strolls on the beach. It's a total termination of communication. Because if I'd do, it'd still lead on the other person one way or the other. The more you hang out with someone, the more hopes you raise in them that one day it might turn around (which it never does mostly). Ahad is right, you were leading him on. It doesn't matter if you knew you were or you were not. You should have known. If you didn't, it's still your fault. Because in guy's mind, he just following an approach to advance. The ball is then in your court and how you play it defines the game.
Here is the step by step analysis from the guy's point of view:
He asked you out on dinner - you agreed and went to dinner. (Nothing so sure yet, just some positive signs)
He asked you for a stroll on beach - you agreed (That's a pretty big sign. Things are looking up)
He asked you to hold your hand - you let him (Need I say more?)
You then at the end of the night made it a point again that you're not interested in him - That's a classic example of being a Desi XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. Not because you didn't like him - that's natural, but because you were being selfish by ignoring all the sings and signals you were giving out by doing all these things with a guy that you KNEW likes you.
Desi women are so XXXXXXXXXX inhibited and convoluted.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Roman: *
** That's a classic example of being a Desi XXXXXXXXXX** Not because you didn't like him - that's natural, but because you were being selfish by ignoring all the sings and signals you were giving out by doing all these things with a guy that you KNEW likes you.
Desi women are so XXXXXXXXXX inhibited and convoluted.
[/QUOTE]
She barely knows urdu or associates with "desis" then how can you call her a desi? By the way, what has it got to do with being a desi? Firstly, desi women don't hang out much; secondly, they don't go out with their male friend(s) to dinners or to walk on the beach so DON'T XXXXXXXX drag desis into this thread to support your points, ALRIGHT? enough of this desi-bashing XXXXXXXXXXX already!
For a man in his 40's, Roman you sure havnt matured enough to know how to behave yet.
Ive known munni for quite some time and know her well enough to believe what she's saying here. You have no right to come here and flame someone you hardly know.
And secondly, whats this talk about desi women being inhibited and covulated ? Some of the women here actually care about their religion and culture, which dictates them having a little bit more hayaa then you are probably used to.
Maniac bibi, you're wrong. Make that "late 50's".
Munni ofcourse he has feelings for you. He has had them for over 2 years now hasn’t he! I don’t blame the poor guy. If you are not interested in him you shouldn’t hang out with him. That will only raise his hopes further. Holding hands is intimate indeed. Even though I feel he held your hands to save you from falling and not just to hold them. And then he asked you before so it’s not like he did it without your consent. I’m probably saying what others have already said but I can’t be bothered to read what everyone wrote.
Thank you Roman for the kind generalisation 
Munni
I would just say that you should probably learn to gauge people better, or be more aware of your actions and how they may be misinterprested by others.
It just seems that you have had a few of these situations ranging from friends' fiance to business partner and others about whom you have posted in the past.
So either its the type of people you are associating with, or your not being clear enough when you are telling them that you are not interested.
I dont know which of the above is the case and am not in a position to comment on that. You will have to do that assessment yoourself.
Goodluck
**I have to agree with Ahad Khan here.
Munni, the guy asked for your permission before holding
your hand, and whether or not you verbally consented to it,
you allowed it. Going out on a weeknight (or at all for that
matter alone with a guy) when your parents weren't home,
a stroll on the beach late at night, you agreed to it all, even if
it may have been in the name of business. Keep in mind
you were alone with the guy, what vibe should he have gotten
other than the one you lead him to, intentionally or
unintentionally.
Business talks aren't held at a walk on the beach.
Most often than not, it has a very direct romantic
connotation. Crux of the matter is when you were
aware that the guy had any interest in you two years
ago you shouldn't have had dinner with him, let alone
a walk on the beach. And these things don't necessarily
come from the experience of socializing with men.
I've been told by women that it's a part of a
woman's instincts, something she's born with
naturally. One thing every woman comes with
is a men~reading~radar.
[Quote]
Firstly, desi women don't hang out much; secondly, they don't go out with their male friend(s) to dinners or to walk on the beach so DON'T fking drag desis into this thread to support your points, ALRIGHT?
[/Quote]
One made a sweeping generalization about desi women
and somebody else made another. Not all desi women are
date~bangers even though that may seem to be the case
so very often. And to
say that desi women don't hang out, don't go with
their male friends to dinners or do other things is very far
from reality as well if one knew how many out there do just
that.
**
Quite frankly, I don't give rat's ass how my comments come accross to women here. I'm only giving a guy's perspective on the issue here. Do all these advocate of non-sweeping-generalizations women really think a guy would think over the whole thing very calmly and rationally after he's been given mixed signals? No.
Thanks for the replies.
Aalhan, as per him liking me two years ago, I never went out with him two years ago. I cannot possibly assume that if someone was interested in going out with me two years ago that two years later after having gone out with others, they would still be interested. Maybe for some ppl its the normal assumption, but to me it wasnt. Call it stupidity on my part, or whatever. I will not lie and say I knew he liked/had interest in me because I simply didnt.
Yes I went out when my parents were not home, but my brother knew I was meeting someone to discuss business.
And my question to you is. If this person knew for two years that I wasnt interested in dating him, why would he try now? Why the need to pretense it under business? He didnt do that two years ago. I suppose you would have preferred I judged him before I met him? Then I would be accused of judging all guys before meeting them. You just cant win.
Business talks can be held anywhere, and are often infact held on the beach, I live in a place which is famous for beaches, and just as business talks can be held on golf courses, in bars, etc... they can be held here. That argument doesnt hold up with me.
I never denied that I should not have let him hold my hand. My question had nothing to do with that. It only had to do with an affirmation that what I was thinking was correct. Thats all I asked for, which I believe most people here understood.
To me, my wrong was to allow him to hold my hand. It wasnt to go to the beach with him, nor was it to agree to meet for a business dinner. I havent once insulted him for his intentions, and he isnt upset with me for what I did either, even after I explained to him that I am not interested in anything but business. Things have been made very clear now, and we are on good terms.
I do not understand all these unwritten rules that some guys/girls have. Nobody can possibly say that they havent made mistakes in meeting people. I am not the only person who is naive about these things. And I would like to think that I have the ability to share such experiences with others and gain input, well into the future.
Thanks for the replies.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by CurruptAngel: *
She barely knows urdu or associates with "desis" then how can you call her a desi? By the way, what has it got to do with being a desi? Firstly, desi women don't hang out much; secondly, they don't go out with their male friend(s) to dinners or to walk on the beach so DON'T XXXXXXXX drag desis into this thread to support your points, ALRIGHT? enough of this desi-bashing XXXXXXXXXXX already!
[/QUOTE]
Currupt, infact I know quite a bit of "street" urdu. I just dont speak it well. I can also write it and read it. About 80% of my friends comprise of Pakistanis. The rest are of other nationalities, so I associate a lot with desis.
Desi women do hang out, you'd be surprised. They also date, again you'd be surprised, they just dont talk about it so much. Also, this wasnt a date as far as I am concerned. It was a business dinner, with a little socializing. To me a date is when two people hang out with both having the thought in mind that something beyond a friendship can occur. Feel free to disagree with my definition.
Just thought I'd clear things here.
**Munni, I apologise that you had to see such words being used towards you 
flower1:
Guys…Munni is not using any rude language with you or any harsh words…please talk to her in the same manner and don’t use such words
mehrbani… :-)**
I'm sorry Munni. I should've not been that harsh. But it's just that I've seen this drama (no, not you) way too many times happened with both guys and gals.
The point is, it doesn't matter what your definition of a "date" is because you're not alone on a "date". There are certain social norms that you have to keep in mind since other people do follow those norms. This guy's asking you out on dinner to discuss business may seem very harmless on the onset but the fact that he later proposed to walk on the beach and held your hand are very clear signs of his intentions. It doesn't matter if you've seen other people walking on the beach discussing business because you're not those people and your situation is different that those people. So you've to look at things in the context of your situation not some other general walks on the beach.
The other thing is that guy's not to blame if he tries to persue again after two years as long as he's not stalking you or still maintaining a reasonable social demeanor (by properly asking out on dinner, proposing walk on the beach, spend some casual time together etc) since he doesn't know if things have gone different. So he wants to give it another shot. And guys are expected to initiate generally speaking.
**Munni, if you were aware (as you
yourself said you were) that the guy had
interest in you previously then you should have given
the thought of going out with him a second take.
Again, that doesn't have anything to do with
experiences/observations etc...it's simple
normal human nature. :-)
Whether you told your parents or not is your
personal matter :-), and when I mentioned it,
it simply meant why you would go out with a guy,
on top of it who happened to be someone you knew
had taken some interest in you in the past. No
girl should ever be out alone with a guy specially
at night. Your parents had a right to know. Whether
you let them or not ofcourse was a choice that
you made. But I will say that the consequences and
repercussions most often than not of such indulgences
end up being severe and more
harmful for the girl's overall well~being than the guy's.
I wish more girls understood that and the extremity
and severity of that issue.
As for your question why the guy would still
pursue your implied rejection even after two
years, under the pretense of business, would
be a question only he can answer. We as humans
stay clear of falling prey to each other's intentions
whatever they may be. It was is and will be
a choice, again you have to make.
Unless you live in Florida or parts of Southern
California, business talks aren't held at a walk
by the beach. And even if they are, when a
man and a woman take a stroll in the moonlight
by the beach for whatever reason, it's taken
almost always for a romantic interest. Whether
you choose to believe it or overlook it is again
your choice. Just ask around you'd be surprised
how many people take it for just that :-)
If you're not interested in the dude, why do you
need the affirmation that what you were thinking
is correct or not.
No one is perfect, but naivity and choice are two
different things. People who are naive don't have
the option of making a 'choice' since naivity is lacking
the undestanding. When someone takes the
liberty of making a choice it doesn't matter
anymore if that person was naive or not.
The only thing standing is the choice. And that's
why we hear actions and consequences all the
time :-)
**
Thanks Roman. Appreciate the clarification.
Aalhan, I dunno what else to tell you except that I did not see it that way.
The part about going out with someone alone is where I knew I would be told I should not have, that to me is expected. I do know that sometimes you get into trouble by doing such, but no I dont "expect" it to happen.
I wanted the affirmation because I suppose you can say I wanted consensus on thought. Just recently I thought someone liked me and I asked him, he said no, and then refused to talk to me afterwards because I thought he thought that way. I made an assumption which was obviously incorrect, so this time I thought I'd ask to see if I am dreaming things or not. Its like when you ask a friend for advice after some guy approaches you(or after any other incident). To me gupshup is a place I have friends, whom I get(or give) advice on matters sometimes.
Again, I am not saying he should not have reacted that way. I never stated that. I am not stating he should feel guilty for what he did.
I dont know about the naive and consequence thing you mentioned. I didnt understand it too well so cant comment.
Again, thanks for the advice.
Mods feel free to close the topic, as my questions were answered, and if anyone else wants to comment, they can here or in PM. smile