Re: Caught my Husband Watching Porn For the Past 3 Years
I don’t think there is anything wrong with a woman masturbating btw (neither does the hubband). Every person is different and every couple is different.
Im going to put down a few thoughts in my head I am just thinking out loud so not everything will make sense.
Men don’t really mix sex with emotion it is two seperate entities in their brains ( as far as I know and understand) so first I think he does love you and wants to do the right thing - you said he tries hard to not look at these women around you etc and gets nervous trying not to do it and control himself deep down I think he is trying to do what you say.
However I don’t think his actions are forgivable not the watching porn bit but the lies and denial and also I don’t think he actually respects you as a person.
I also think he may have issues, like deeper psychological issues. He seems to see women only as a sexual entity and people who do not deserve respect and thats just wrong.
What was his upbringing like? Was it very strict/restrictive, was there any abuse or sexual abuse? What were his mum and sisters like? How did his dad treat his mum?
Also I have noticed that lots of desi men see their wives as pure non sexual beings - almost as mothers for some reason so they take out all their sexual desires on other women they dont care about because sex is dirty and thats how they were bought up.
I think he needs therapy of some sort.
Also - just saying ‘yes’ is not always a good sex life. Every human has fantasies and thats ok. It does not mean you don’t love each other. Sometimes during sex its ok to put on a persona to make it more fun. Ask him if there anything he would enjoy more and tell him what you enjoy.
I don’t think he had any issues growing up he had a healthy childhood. However his mom grew him up as very “homely” like so he was always introverted when it came it the social world.
As far as being nervous and looking down, he only does that when I’m next to him. I’ve caught him numerous times looking at girls when I’m far away looking at other things and he thinks im busy and feels I can’t see him. So it’s all for show.