Ok, so because the math textbook is $95, the school is having all the kids access the book online. I was not very happy about this, because I figured my son would waste time going to Halo sites and stuff like that. Turns out he was looking at porn! Really nasty stuff (we’re not talkin about sneaking a look at a playboy centerfold here).. So now I’m trying to figure out how to restrict his access online to ONLY that textbook website.
I am SO FURIOUS. I really HATE porn. It so screws up people’s idea of what human love and sexuality is about. And he is only 12!!
I think I’ll just castrate him and be done with it.
I do not know how he ended up there.
In our home we have a laptop in our living room which kids use in front of everybody. They do not have privacy to do any hanky panky on the net.
My daughter has her own notebook but she is not allowed to have facebook account , no email account , she can skype with friends using my account and she has to surf the net only when adults are around. And she has her Windows account setup as a user with maximum security and minimum privileges.
So I did not have to face this till now.
The computer is in the same main room (it's a very open plan layout), but in the corner and the monitor faces the wall. (THAT'S gonna change!) I have looked up how to have maximum parental controls and have changed the settings, so I hope that actually does something.
:k:
From time to time you can check his IE explorer/Firefox history . There are many specific parental control softwares available too. I never needed to use one so I do not know which one is the best or which one to use.
I would create a separate user account for him and then in that account restrict access to all sites by changing the hosts file (free; just google it) but it'd probably be easier (but more expensive) to get some sort of net filter.
yes talk to him besides putting on parental control. its easy to put on parental control. u can restrict use of all websites and just allow one u r ok with.
if he's already watching it he must be aware of it so be more open n discuss the right n wrong aspects of it. also chk on his friends and company. if he's hanging out with undesirable company time to act on it.
You can restrict access all you want, but 12 year old boys are like nature and nature ALWAYS finds a way.
Well, if he can't get to such sites at school, or the library and he can't get to them at my house, that at least reduces his exposure. He has never had access to the internet except occasionally here. Unfortunately I don't have control over what goes on at his dad's house.
I cannot stop pornography from being made and I cannot stop violent movies from being made either. But I can, in any way available to me, be sure that my money does not go to support them or their backers. Similarly, I may not be able to totally prevent my son's exposure to such website, but whatever I can do, I will do.
Well, if he can't get to such sites at school, or the library and he can't get to them at my house, that at least reduces his exposure. He has never had access to the internet except occasionally here. Unfortunately I don't have control over what goes on at his dad's house.
I cannot stop pornography from being made and I cannot stop violent movies from being made either. But I can, in any way available to me, be sure that my money does not go to support them or their backers. Similarly, I may not be able to totally prevent my son's exposure to such website, but whatever I can do, I will do.
Do you think it could be a result of peer pressure? Maybe he's hanging around with older boys and thats where he's got the encouragment from. I mean I know that kids after certain age get curious about sexuality but for a 12 year old going to a proper porn site is pretty big, like you said it wasn't a sneaking at random dirty pictures. So you need to ask him or find out yourself where he got the cues from...
Have you talked to your husband? Make sure it wasn't some stored link in home computer that he stumbled across. You never know...
I've changed the settings on Windows, and installed a parental filter on Firefox. The monitor faces outward now, and I am right behind him and can see the screen.
I did talk to him. Well, admittedly I yelled, but I did talk about why it is wrong, I didn't just cuss him out -- he KNOWS it is wrong, but he does not truly understand why, so I was trying to explain that. It was kind of difficult, because I get so angry.
if you don't mind sharing.....
can you tell us what you said and how you explained that it is wrong?
tell us what part was difficult .... you might make the same conversation for another person a little less troublesome thanks to your experience.....
You just have to have a straight talk with him & tell him that you expect high of him & how its gunnah. Heck have a straight sex talk with him. Not too open but whatever you are comfortable with. Better have him learn things from you than his friends where he might learn a lot of wrong things & probably too early.
Cutting down all access doesn't make much difference because if he wants to do it he will. Make him feel guilty about it rather than make him feel like he has to hide from you & do it. Because being a boy eventually curiosity will kick in & he WILL want to watch it again.
If I was you I would worry but I wouldn't fuss over it so much because hey at the end of the day he is a boy, probably learning stuff in school & curious mind. Simple as that.
I have caught my brother & even couple cousins watching it when they were in their early teens. I had a straight talk with them & told them how its gunnah & how its morally wrong. Also told my mom about my brother. In my cousins' case I told them its between me & them & I won't tell anyone I caught them watching such stuff but they have to maintain their own self respect & refrain from watching it. I am actually waiting for my younger brother to do exactly this so I can have a chance to talk to him about whats right & wrong.
At 12 he is a little too early to be exploring these grounds but all you can do as a mother is to talk to him, tell him you were enraged initially & yelled at him but let him know you understand his curiosity but how completely wrong this is. If he has any concept of gunnah sawab then that's all you have to use to steer him away (at least for some time)
Sometimes just having the "talk" is all you need. Good luck.