How much of a role does caste play for those who are soon to be married or are already married? I personally could care less, but how important is it to your parents and extended family? Spare me the its haram, blah blah, lecture, so dont bother to reply. thanks 
What do you mean by caste? Social status? I think that social status plays a major role when looking for a bride/groom. Seen it many times! :) Personally, my family does not care for such things. I have seen other families though who are hell bent on marrying within a certain social group, i.e. doctors cause they are considered higher up in the social status. Islamically, the caste system is wrong, but many Muslims still prefer certain groups over others.
Not sure if that is what you meant. :)
Well what I meant is that my family is punjabi and my caste is jatt...and my parents (moreso my dad) is concerned about the jatt thing . A cousin of mine in Pakistan married a non jatt girl and everyone in our family talks about his inlaws not being jat, I think my dad is more worried about the backlash from his family in pakistan, and how he will explain it to them..I know its wrong, and I could care less about it, but you cant change the mentality. Either way I think I'm screwed.
In my humble opinion, I would say that you marry someone who makes YOU happy. Ultimately, you are the one who has to spend your life with this other person. Who cares if they are not jatt? All this nitty gritty stuff is highly annoying. Your extended family will talk regardless of whether you marry within the jatt tribe or not.
People spend so much time wanting to please and impress the community and make everyone else happy.
I think ultimately, your parents will want you to be happy. If there is someone in the picture who isn't Jatt, will your parents consider it or flat out say no?
Aren't Jutts considered Jahil illiterate gunwaars in Pakistani culture?. Whats the big bumboo about being a jutt? Its not like you guys invented the 747 Jet. Take a chill pill and marry a dalit. I recently found out from our indian guppies that they too exist in pakistan.
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*Originally posted by funguy: *
Take a chill pill and marry a dalit.
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Are you offering me your sister ;)
Mehnaz: I dont disagree with you one bit, Our parents will make a strong case to support this. If you marry someone from within your own caste or lineage, you can find out more about his or her family background. However that doesn't mean the marriage will be a success. I find it quite annoying myself, but w/o going into much persoanl info about myself, I was with someone who made me happy but too many issues, and the stigmata of community came into play.
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*Originally posted by punjab da sher: *
Are you offering me your sister ;)
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This goes to show why only your own kind would be best suitable for you.
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*Originally posted by funguy: *
This goes to show why only your own kind would be best suitable for you.
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awww did i hurt your feelings, can dish it out but cant take it...
I don't know what to tell you. That really sucks.
My family don't care at all for such things like social status. All they want is someone who is a good person/Muslim and who will take care of me, etc. etc. etc. Typical parental desires. Wanting to marry someone who will make my relatives happy isn't even in the equation. I couldn't care less what they think...neither do my parents! :)
well they say the same, makes me happy dont want to force, I dunno they seem to be all over the place..but it seems whatever potential prospects they mentioned the family tends to be jatt, eh..suxs to be me :) Well I hope you find that someone, its nice when you have less restrictions..btw do you end all of your posts with a ! ..j/k
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*Originally posted by punjab da sher: *
well they say the same, makes me happy dont want to force, I dunno they seem to be all over the place..but it seems whatever potential prospects they mentioned the family tends to be jatt, eh..suxs to be me :) Well I hope you find that someone, its nice when you have less restrictions..btw do you end all of your posts with a ! ..j/k
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I don't know....I noticed my over usage of the exclamation mark yesterday. :)
Anyway, parents can be very unreasonable at times and say that they want someone who will make their child happy but actually look for someone who will satisfy their requirements. Who knows though, you may meet a lovely jatt girl through them.
yea parents are hard to figure out, mine are quite liberal, and open minded, but since my dad's family from Pak came within the last 5 years, and live near them, I think he tends to be wary of their opinion alot more now then before when he didnt care..sigh But I'll try to test my limits, .maybe I'll push a Indian Hyderabadi on em !..heh!
prejudice and discrimination and stereotyping...how very typical.