Cash Point

ehsan · February 10, 2006, 5:29pm

NEW DRIVE-THRU CASHPOINTS

Barclays bank is very pleased to inform you that we
are installing new “Drive-thru” cash point machines
where our customers will be able to withdraw cash
without leaving their vehicles. To enable our
customers to make full use of these new facilities,
we have conducted intensive behavioural studies to
come up with appropriate procedures for their use.

Please read the procedures that apply to you and
remember them for when you use our new machines for
the first time.

PROCEDURES FOR OUR MALE CUSTOMERS:

Drive up to the cash machine.
Wind down your car window.
Insert card and enter PIN.
Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
Wind up window.
Drive off.

PROCEDURES FOR OUR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:

Drive up to cash machine.
Reverse back the required amount to align car window with cash machine.
Re-start the stalled engine.
Wind down the window.
Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat and locate card.
Turn the radio down.
Attempt to insert card into machine.
Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to it’s excessive distance from the car.
Insert card.
After “Invalid Card” is displayed, remove the aforementioned
“Marks & Spencer’s” Charge card and insert correct cash point card,
Remove cash point card.
Re-insert cash point card the right way up.
Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
Enter PIN.
Press “Cancel” and enter correct PIN.
Enter amount of cash required.
Check make-up in rear view mirror.
Retrieve cash and receipt.
Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
Place receipt in back of cheque book.
Re-check make-up.
Drive forward 2 metres.
Reverse back to cash machine. Wave to exasperated male customer in car behind.
Retrieve card.
Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
Restart stalled engine and pull off.
Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
Release handbrake.

dhobi_bhai · February 10, 2006, 6:21pm

Re: Cash Point

Lagta hai aaj kul bhabhi nay buhat tang kar kay rakha hua hai. Chai bhi, maloom parta hai, pheeki bananay lagee hain. Ehsan bhai, sudhar jayein. Ab nahin to phir kub? Aakhir burhapay ki bhi eik umar hoti hai.

:biggthumb

fair_balance · February 10, 2006, 7:40pm

Re: Cash Point

Bhabhi mat kaho na…
Chachi kaho…

danial · February 10, 2006, 8:59pm

Re: Cash Point

he has a funny bone.

jandali · February 11, 2006, 12:45am

Re: Cash Point

yea hhe is funny

Sajalina · February 11, 2006, 7:59am

Re: Cash Point

Sadaf · February 11, 2006, 8:02am

Re: Cash Point

jhoot hai yeh jhoot hai

PS.

MYwish · February 11, 2006, 12:39pm

Re: Cash Point

I only check my make up once,

Before applying it all over again i-e.

_Lay-D_Honey · February 11, 2006, 2:19pm

Re: Cash Point

Mr_Fraudia · February 11, 2006, 8:53pm

Re: Cash Point

ehsan bhai u are correct, ladies handbags are like umro ayyar ki zambeel, everything is in there, but whereas he could find anything very quickly, ladies have to empty the whole thing.

A most amusing scene is when some lady's cell phone rings and it is in her purse, the mad dash to get to the phone, thru all the mazes and nooks and crannies of the purse, before teh call goes to voicemail is amusing and scary at the same time, wonder how safe that would be if such ladies need to get to their phone while driving :)

The_Curmudgeon · February 11, 2006, 10:02pm

Re: Cash Point

so true!

suggestion - between steps 3 and 4, : Put the car on neutral or park

I break out a sweat whenever I am behind a woman driver. you never know when they are going to reverse, turn left or right. They put the blinker on AFTER they have started turning or changing lanes, as if it is a ritual necessary to complete the move rather than warning the other cars. In ATM drive-ins they simply engage brakes instead of changing gear.

But mostly they’re just nervous with machines and driving through confined spaces. Once I honked at a woman driving too slow in front of me and when I passed her, she looked so scared I swore I WILL NEVER honk again

bao_bihari · February 12, 2006, 4:42am

Re: Cash Point

saimanyc · February 13, 2006, 6:48am

Re: Cash Point

You have too much time on your hands to post this.

phatima · February 14, 2006, 1:44am

Re: Cash Point

^ lol he’s gonna fire you for saying that..and you JUST got the job.

bizz · February 14, 2006, 2:43am

Re: Cash Point