i dont know if i can help you
but two years ago i was in the same state…exactly as u are…
tired of living..Nothing interests me anymore, life feels meaning less, dont feel like living but suicide is the last thing on my mind…and i felt this without any reaosn..nothing bad had happened to me!..bas without reason koi gham tha mujhe..
khair..two months after i went to pakistan…i explained my feelings for my dads friend whos an imam…he recited something and came to know that there was a Saaya on me…
vo saaya kahan se aya kisi ko nai pata..but that imam recited something on me..and within 2-3 days i was back to normal state again
those strange feelings were gone..and i started living a normal life again!
mujhe bilkul bhi nai feel hota tha ke mere pekoi saaya hai or something…maybe u got a similar problem?
the imam told me ke yeh kabhi kabar yeh Hawai cheezein (jinn, saya etc) hume tang karne lag jati hain without reason…
so you should contact a imam!..im sure he can tell you whats wrong with u 