@paheli, I see such wonderful husbands/men but of course they're all taken, the way my cousins and brothers, friends husbands are with their wives, they treat their wives with such respect and care. I see wonderful couples in front of me all the time. if women didn't start the compatible spouse game right in high school, then most good men seem to be already taken like PCG said
@PCG, you spoke my mind in everything you wrote and when i said educated I just meant BS deg, I'm not expecting that he be a phd
**@ekumunng, **I really am not that strict in my expectations, he shouldn't be a douchbag, a sleaze, preferably straight, Allah fearing, respectful, caring, nothing really too extreme
@paheli, I see such wonderful husbands/men but of course they're all taken, the way my cousins and brothers, friends husbands are with their wives, damn, they treat their wives with such respect and care. I see wonderful couples in front of me all the time. if women didn't start the compatible spouse game right in high school, then most good men seem to be already taken like PCG said
GlobalGal: But by looking at the people around you, you should realize that God hasn't stopped making good men. You shouldn't give up hope based on your bad experiences.
PCG is more than entitled to her own opinions based on her personal observations. But based on my personal observations, I think the idea that all "good" prospects are gone after high school is BS. I met my husband in my late's 20's and we married in our 30's. Heck back in the days.....my own mother met my father in grad school when they were BOTH in their late 20's. In fact, most of my friends met/got married in their late 20's/early 30's. As I said earlier, some people are lucky enough to meet "the one" early in life....and others just have to wait longer.
Thanks Paheli and everybody else that was being helpful. Sometimes we just need to vent and we have the luxury of venting online. It did make me feel better and hopefully my luck will change.
if the person I'm with after marriage ends up being gay and so there isn't a sex life that exists and that should exist in a marriage.......
another common stereotype about men in our desi society... that they are always ready to have sex with anyone that carry two breasts, two legs and a ***** just because they are men... they are wired like that ... and if they fail to do so then they are classified as homosexuals... what an utter load of BS...
as far as I know, a good sexual health is a by-product of a good mental and physical well being...
Maybe you should try to educate yourself about sexual health problems before you start accusing him of being a homosexual...
Marriage is a big step simply because you are committing to spend the rest of your life with someone. While that may not in of itself prove to be daunting the idea that you have to give up your personal space, your decision making ability and you are being placed in a position where someone has the ability to hurt you, affect your personal reputation and the ability in some cases to physically harm you is scary has hell. But here is the best news you aren't alone. In a day and age where arranged marriages aren't seen as common, where divorce is extremely common between 20 somethings and you are torn between culture and desires of love, intimacy and affection you have every right to be hesitant. However I personally believe if I may be so bold that you are focusing on the wrong things. Life is about your frame of mind. If you are going to go into a situation thinking negatively it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Easy to say I know, considering I have my own fears and apprehensions over my own relationship. But then again good communication, honesty and trust help a lot in easing away those fears and she also helps in making me realize how much of a fool i can be.
Pakistani girls believe (I seek to generalize now) they have to be the perfect wife, the good daughter in law and so much more. They simply forget them firstly must be true to themselves in what they want in life and what they wish to seek. Holding out is fine as long as you do so rationally and logically. But that doesn't mean you give up your basic views, principles and morals. So seek what you want but understand your Prince Charming may have only one arm and a full beard but he could make you happy beyond your wildest dreams.
At the end of the day the only advice that I can provide is see each opportunity as a learning experience, enter the process with an open mind and with a positive attitude. Oh yes and trust your gut instinct.