Can you really put a girl above your mother?

[Southie]

Re: Can you really put a girl above your mother?

We need to stop putting parents on pedestals. Some are good, some are average, some downright bad. Treat each person with the respect they have earned.

[Bobby1]

Re: Can you really put a girl above your mother?

@Southie

We need to stop putting parents on pedestals. Some are good, some are average, some downright bad. Treat each person with the respect they have earned.

I am a big proponent of not getting respect because of position but because of ones actions, I never demanded respect from my children and yet I get tons. Harris rushes to the door to hug me. I would want them to put their spouses and children above us, as we have lived or lives and they should focus on their future. I am responsible to look after myself and saved enough to be independent and not be a control freak and manipulator. Children should be allowed to live their lives on their own terms.

[decentGuy]

Re: Can you really put a girl above your mother?

@Southie

We need to stop putting parents on pedestals. Some are good, some are average, some downright bad. Treat each person with the respect they have earned.

I will only agree with you in case of certain exceptional circumstances. A friend of mine has a family that is intentionally delaying his marriage for years. They refuse to even meet girls’ families citing one excuse or another. For example, if the girl is not well known to him, his parents will say they can’t marry into unknown people. If he knows the girl, his family says he is blinded by her charms, etc. The guy has given up on lots of his own likes/dislikes overtime and really needs to marry but his family is extremely stubborn. Friends suggested to him to just marry a girl whose family can understand his circumstances but girls’ families show no further interest after they’re told about his family’s situation. Some even suggested he must be a player for not getting married till now or may have demands for money, etc. Friends know its just his stubborn family.

[Rose887]

Re: Can you really put a girl above your mother?

@Bobby1

I am a big proponent of not getting respect because of position but because of ones actions, I never demanded respect from my children and yet I get tons. Harris rushes to the door to hug me. I would want them to put their spouses and children above us, as we have lived or lives and they should focus on their future. I am responsible to look after myself and saved enough to be independent and not be a control freak and manipulator. Children should be allowed to live their lives on their own terms.

Omg yes, i hope and pray more desi’s start thinking like you

[Rose887]

Re: Can you really put a girl above your mother?

@decentGuy

I will only agree with you in case of certain exceptional circumstances. A friend of mine has a family that is intentionally delaying his marriage for years. They refuse to even meet girls’ families citing one excuse or another. For example, if the girl is not well known to him, his parents will say they can’t marry into unknown people. If he knows the girl, his family says he is blinded by her charms, etc. The guy has given up on lots of his own likes/dislikes overtime and really needs to marry but his family is extremely stubborn. Friends suggested to him to just marry a girl whose family can understand his circumstances but girls’ families show no further interest after they’re told about his family’s situation. Some even suggested he must be a player for not getting married till now or may have demands for money, etc. Friends know its just his stubborn family.

This is so infuriating yet common. I hope your friend finds someone who truly cares for him.

[NavAhmed]

Re: Can you really put a girl above your mother?

some mothers are useless, some wives are ****e, they all get what they deserve, good or bad.

[gudiaali]

Re: Can you really put a girl above your mother?

everyone has their own importance, and i think you need to give priorities to different relationships at different stages of life.
one thing i have noticed is that if son is spending more time with the wife or is giving her, her due rights then people term him as Joru ka Ghulam, whereas if a daughter is doing the same for his husband and is keeping minimal contact with her own family, then she is labelled as an obedient and “Ghar basane wali larki”. Really can’t understand this double standard of the society.

[decentGuy]

Re: Can you really put a girl above your mother?

^^^I personally don’t know any woman who abandoned her family. On the contrary, I personally know several such men, who returned, if at all, only to claim share in inheritance when the money was good.