Okay maybe this is more a psychological problem but who knows I might get some guidance.
I have come to realize I am extremely needy.I need people. Family friends and basically everyone to like me. Ok may be not everyone I want to be liked where I want to be liked. I also have this believe that everything can be fixed, patched up etc idk I guess sometimes that is not possible. How do I mature as a person? It sounds stupid but it is what is it.
I also have a really difficult time letting go, coming to think of it I don’t think I really do let go.
This probably sounds like an immature post but I don’t really have anyone to discuss this with.This is not something I can easily change as well.I try .But I pretty much force friendships, have this believe that I absolutely need friends, I have this imaginary bonds in my mind,ok family is family but even my relationships with some cousins are pretty much forced. I am the one trying to impress and if I was to get into an argument with anyone I pretty much have zero self respect. I wont change the good in myself if I know I am right but will make every attempt to change them and moving on is not something I do well unless there really is no other option. I dont really have very close friends either so that does not help, no one in family is that close as well but I have a good relationship with them nonetheless, with cousins and stuff just awkward but I still come across as needy and a people pleaser. I understand that at times I dont come across as genuine either even though I might be.I am not very good with relationships I am going to admit. But I feel that relationships are very important to me. Talking about relationships in general .Its weird. I dont just let go of people that I see don’t care . I will try and make them care. I tend to feel lonely really quickly and people give me comfort eg:like just thinking that they might be others going through the same thing, talking about my problems with others I will find someone even if I know clearly that person does not care etc. I want to change this trait now before its too late, if it is not already too late.
I really hold on , like it’s an absolute need. I get into depression quickly . I have a very difficult time disciplining myself.I have extremely erroneous fears as well. Like letting go and even giving it to God is not something I do well.I try and do all the changing I can, keep going back to things that clearly say leave me alone…idk pretty much this is the problem.
Is it possible to be less needy? How can I learn to be a stronger person?Mentally and emotionally? I can really be an emotional mess sometimes and honestly I hate it. This “need” I have for relationships, to always feel accepted wanted have friends is not healthy but more so childish.Maybe I even expect more than I give. Or just expect to get more than I give. am I selfish? To an extent I am mentally unstable no jokes Iam a pretty unstable person Iam not going to lie. I have a difficult time being consistent with anything and staying focused. I get anxious very quickly . What makes this worse is I know better but wont do better. I honestly can’t mold myself the way I would like to.
Any advice is appreciated.