Nadz, I wish I could give you a hug.
:)
Calm down. I know you're sick of hearing that. But if you keep at it the way you're going, you'll end up in the ER from an anxiety attack on your wedding day. And then your big day will be memorable for all the wrong reasons.
I and most everybody else who is getting married or is already married feel your pain. It's one of the most annoying desi traditions where the people getting married have little or no control over their marriage. Even in the best of situations where the boy and girl are making decisions together, the parents, siblings, aunts, ex-best friend's former roomate's sister all have to give their two cents and do things to your wedding according to their preferences.
But look at the most important thing you've decided on. You decided on the person to marry. You care for him, you want to be his wife, you're looking forward to a new, exciting phase of your life with him. No one can take that from you. Invitations, wedding halls, dresses aside...saying yes to your husband-to-be is the decision that has the most impact on your happiness. Concentrate on that. Put everything else aside.
I've read this post and the post where you're worried about your "surprise" dresses. And honestly Nadz, though I feel bad that your fiancee didn't consult you (he should have - at the very least for your side's invites), the invitations will be looked at for all of 5 seconds and forgotten or lost. Then everybody will call at the last minute asking for date, place, directions, etc.
And as for the clothes, I feel your pain. I lucked out on color b/c my MIL and SIL totally rock and got me the color I wanted, but I had to trust my in laws on everything else because I know squat about what looks good and obviously couldn't get it all made in Karachi while I was stateside. It was beautiful. So shall your dresses be. Even if your inlaws present you with burlap sacks (they won't), you're still gonna look beautiful. Know why? Your skin's gonna be glowing, your makeup will be perfect, and above all, you will be happy, Inshallah.
Take a breath. Take a walk. Read a book. Take a long, relaxing bath. But just stop thinking about it for a little bit.
Good luck honey. It's going to be okay, Inshallah.