Aslam-O-Alakum,
All my muslim friends on this board.I am new on this forum.I am basicaly from Karachi but have been abroad from past 13/14yrs but my heart still lives back home in my sweet country PAKISTAN..
All my family bro sis are there and me my kids and hubby are living here in HOUSTON TX..
My son is getting married and i m looking for bridal and groom stuff.I do not have much choices and boutiques here in HOUSTON.I visited some designer’s websites and really shocked after know the higher prices…All good dresses shairvaines are more than lakh and so…WOW its just shocking that where the Pakistani citizens have middle class status how they can afford to arrange their kids marriages ..Its so sad.
I was just thinking about the parents who have 2/3 daughters and in this expensive period of time how they get them married a servive??Even ppls are so matrialistic and greedy specially Grooms families.
My son is getting married with a hispanic girl who is converting Islam soon(insha Allah)when i told her in my country the girls get married her parents give them everything to start their new life.GOLD jewelry,clothes,furniture and if parents well off they give house car and cash.And still inlaws are not happy and make girl life miserable.Believe me she was
shocked and said so …what the boy does??In their culture boy and girl do all expeces parents come to give just blessings.
I was little ambressed but thought she is very right
PLZ guys change the old rituls and come forward and folllow the sunnah of our prohphit Mohamad..How many are there willing 2accept the girls from poor and middle class familieswho’s parents does not have anything just blessings good Tarbiat and education…PLZ tell me how many are their??who can fight with these old Rasm o riwaj??and just willing to get married with a girl who is educated,and can be a great mother …Come with me .I want to see how many are there who has courage to fight this ugly Rasam??
Re: Can some one help i m in USA??
I moved your thread to the wedding forum
its debatable, the reason for spending so much on weddings...it could be just because they CAN afford to have a lavish wedding, it could be because they are just trying to keep up with others.
but i think it IS possible to have a simple wedding where you dont need to spend so much and if your in-laws are greedy you might want to consider marrying into such a family in the first place.
Re: Can some one help i m in USA??
i thought these practices don't exist anymore...I got married a few months ago & alhumdulillah my husband didn't ask for anything from my family, he especially told my parents he won't accept any money or expensive gifts from them...whatever was given, was given only for me, there were no demands, nothing!
Re: Can some one help i m in USA??
yeah i thought the whole concept of dowry demands was outdated too... at least amongst the educated folk. my best friend is indian and i know dowry is much more of a bigger deal for them than for pakistani people. her inlaws gave her parents a LIST of things they wanted for everyone in the family!! i was stunned. its ridiculous- its like you're not getting married, you're getting sold.
i think if you can afford to, go ahead and give your kids what you can and have a big party to celebrate, but its not a must, by any means, and like my dad says, you should always stretch your feet to the extent of your chaadar, or something like that :P
chaadar kay bahar paoon nahi phelao?
personally, my folks are paying for our wedding and they said its part of our pakistani culture that parents marry their beti's and its something they wanted to do. and we're not having a huge wedding- about 100 people- and its going to be a really nice, tasteful affair and yeah, we're working with a small budget and MA, so far, nothing that i've wanted for the wedding has been out of my reach. as for jaheyz/dowry, mum's giving me some of her jewellery, she bought me two dressy outfits and one sari. thats it- and i didn't ask for more either- i just don't go to enough affairs or wear pakistani clothes that often so whatever. i'm happy! both andrew and i are happy that my parents can afford to be such a big help to us and thats more than enough for us! :)
Re: Can some one help i m in USA??
aww! that sounds very sweet 
g’luck to u guys
Re: Can some one help i m in USA??
thank you! thats nice of you to say :)
Re: Can some one help i m in USA??
I got married here and my BIL got married in Pakistan. My ILs did not demand any dowry from me or my sil. People are changing, its not the same any more.
Re: Can some one help i m in USA??
Same here, my in laws never expected anything from us, of course my mother wanted to do that so my parents did give them stuff, but it was never an issue...its not like any four of us are treated "better" or "worse" because of how much stuff we gave em.