Inspired from Niksik’s thread , about the father wanting sole custody where the kids that are pre-pubescent.
Can single dad be as efficient as a single mom ??? I might sound sexist but hey, i have never come across a situation where a father has successfully been able to raise kids, lets say two kids under the age of 5 till they get married off, totally on his own. The situation could be either he is a widower or a divorcee. And especially if the kids are girls only.
So can a dad get up in the morning , make breakfast, gets lunch ready, gets the kids ready for school, drops them off goes to work, pick up the kids , comes home makes dinner, get the kids to do their homework, dinner, bath and then puts them to sleep. All this without ever remarrying ???
My best friends mom was a single parent. She and her husband were divorce while the daughters were just 2 and the second one was just a few month old. The mom did everything i stated above. One daughter is a professor and other other a doctor, The mom is a retired banker.
Why would the man want the kids' custody if he doesn't want to or couldn't look after them?
According to the US Census Bureau, there are approximately 14 million single custodial parents in the US, 16% of whom are fathers - that's 224,000 dads taking pretty good care of their kids or they'd be taken away by the authorities.
I don't know about cooking lavish dinners but I do think men can be very capable of raising kids on their own with perhaps a bit of help from a nanny/cook.
Can single dad be as efficient as a single mom ???
Yes. Whether or not a person is an "efficient" parents has nothing to do with their gender. It has to do with their level of commitment to the child and what their personal values/beliefs are in being a parent. Not every person has the same exact lifestyle or values as a parent.
So can a dad get up in the morning , make breakfast, gets lunch ready, gets the kids ready for school, drops them off goes to work, pick up the kids , comes home makes dinner, get the kids to do their homework, dinner, bath and then puts them to sleep. All this without ever remarrying ??????
I know quite a few single moms and 3 single dads. Most of the single mom's I know don't make breakfast every morning, don't make lunch every single day, don't make dinner every single night etc. All the mom's I know has help with raising the child....since they all have full time jobs...they either have a nanny/daycare or close-by family that helps out. In the case of school age kids...the kids usually eat breakfast/lunch at the school. In a few cases, I know of nannies that pick the kids up from school and make sure the kids do their homework and get dinner ready by the time the mom is home from work.
In all the cases I know...do the mom's themselves do all the things you listed....No. Does that mean that they're not "efficient" mom's? In my personal opinion...No. Again, going back to what the person believes is the best way to raise a child and doing their best with the options available to them.
Oh and in the case of the single dads I now....same exact comments apply. I don't see the dads doing any better (or worse) jobs in raising their children than the single moms I know. In fact, I would say the "best" single parent I know personally happens to be a dad (he's gay so there was never any "mom" in the pic). He had 4(yes 4) kids all under the age of 10 (3 girls). 2 were adopted....2 are biologically his through IVF. He works full-time, has a full-time nanny to help with the kids (as well as his mother who lives nearby). And the way he makes those children a priority in his life......I know "married fathers" who should take lessons from him on how to be a proper father figure.
Inspired from Niksik's thread , about the father wanting sole custody where the kids that are pre-pubescent.
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Can single dad be as efficient as a single mom ??? I might sound sexist but hey, i have never come across a situation where a father has successfully been able to raise kids, lets say two kids under the age of 5 till they get married off, totally on his own. The situation could be either he is a widower or a divorcee. And especially if the kids are girls only.**
And I have never come across a situation where a woman has successfully raised kids all by herself (ooooh waiting for the tomatoes!) but I know single mothers are capable of raising good kids.
And yes, a man can do all of that. any man who will be fighting for custody, you bet he will put 100% into raising his kids.
I think its unfortunate that in both societies mens abilities to raise children is underestimated--in the west, custody almost always goes to the mother. In desi society, if a dude is single again (widowed or divorced) people are quick to get him to marry asap because God forbid he raise his kids alone.
I have a family friend uncle whose wife passed away due to cancer when htheir boys were 7, 4, and 1 year old.. family tried to get him remarried but he refused.. and now the boys are 17, 14, 10 and mashallah they are the most behaved lil guys that I have ever seen in my life.. yes they really havent seen any women around the house so when you go there, they get lil shy and arent used to having someone else cook or clean for them but I totally adore them!!
I also know a father back home who raised two girls (3 and 2 months) while the mother left to marry someone else and the father used to work in my mother's office.. in fact he used to leave the lil girls with my nani while he went to work back in the 80s.. later, he sent the two to hostel because it just wasnt very safe to leave girls home while he traveled and despite people's suiggestion to re marry, he never ever considered that as an option.. one of those girls is married to our neighbor's son and has two children and another one lives in Dubai with her family while the father spends time equally with each of his daughters.. the sons in law and daughters respect and care so much for him and his life totally revolves around his grandchildren now. :-)
Yes, I think single dads can very much do it all and play the maternal role. It's all about how a man is brought up, how HE was equipped for life by his parents. I believe that really reflects on how he will do as a father.. ofcourse, the same can be said about mothers.
I personally know someone who is a single dad , his children are a little younger than me and I have seen him giving 101% in raising his kids on his own. BUT even after all that when you meet his children you will feel that alot of upbringing & teaching is missing. Kids have performed very bad in school and over all they are not as disciplined as they should have been. Never the less the kids are mentally and physically healthy and are happy individuals.
It's a matter of love and commitment you have towards your children. Fathers can be as good as mothers and being a single dad can be as difficult and challenging as being a single mom.
Just to let you know, the dad under question in my thread as in fact been doing all of that and more for a few years now.
Inspired from Niksik's thread , about the father wanting sole custody where the kids that are pre-pubescent.Can single dad be as efficient as a single mom ??? I might sound sexist but hey, i have never come across a situation where a father has successfully been able to raise kids, lets say two kids under the age of 5 till they get married off, totally on his own. The situation could be either he is a widower or a divorcee. And especially if the kids are girls only.So can a dad get up in the morning , make breakfast, gets lunch ready, gets the kids ready for school, drops them off goes to work, pick up the kids , comes home makes dinner, get the kids to do their homework, dinner, bath and then puts them to sleep. All this without ever remarrying ??????My best friends mom was a single parent. She and her husband were divorce while the daughters were just 2 and the second one was just a few month old. The mom did everything i stated above. One daughter is a professor and other other a doctor, The mom is a retired banker.
My nana was a single dad as my nano died when my mom who is the eldest sister was in 10th grade. He raised 4 daughters. Off course he got help from his sister too. I think he did a decent job.
Yes, I think he can.
Obviously he'll have to step out of his comfort zone but I've seen a lot of hands on dads, it's hard but doable.
If a single mother can raise children then why not single dads? :)