Can secrets hurt a relationship?

Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?

In the end, it's your decision. If your past has absolutely NO connection with who you are now, then conceal it. If you feel that she'll find out some other way and you want to be the one to tell her, then consider telling her. Either way, know that if you made sincere taubah to Allah SWT, you're not obligated to tell her your past.

Following are the hadiths that I mentioned earlier that I would share:

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: *“All of my ummah may be forgiven except those who commit sin openly. It is a kind of committing sin openly if a man does something at night, then morning comes and Allaah has concealed his sin, but he says, ‘O So and so, I did such and such last night,’ when his Lord has concealed him (his action) all night but in the morning he reveals that which Allaah had concealed for him.” *
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5721; Muslim, 2990

Abdullah Ibn Masoud (رضي الله عنه) related, ‘A man came to the Prophet and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! I have mingled with a woman in the far side of al-Medina, and I fulfilled my desire short of actually having sexual intercourse with her. So, here am I, judge me according to what you decide.’ Umar Ibn al-Khattab (رضي الله عنه) then said: ‘Allah had kept your secret, why did not you keep your secret?’ [Sahih Muslim]

Messenger of Allaah (sallallahu `alayhi wa salam) said: “Refrain from these filthy matters (i.e. sins) that Allaah has forbidden, and if one of you is tried by committing any of them, then let him conceal them as Allaah has concealed them for him.” [Al-Haakim]

There are many Quranic verses also in this regard, but that would require mentioning the background of those verses and hence the post would become too lengthy.**
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Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?

I'll get back to you in detail by tomorrow insha'Allah. Got to make up for lost sleep time.

However, Jazak'Allah khair for sharing the Hadith, Brother. :-)

Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?

Big no on sharing email or fb passwords. And i don't expect her to share with me either. Of course the exception is always there coz i wouldn't hide anything from her. I believe in full honesty. With that said..i do not think it's not necessary to share everything. For instance, if my wife wouldn't want to tell me anything about her brother or sister..something that she should only keep it to herself. I think she should. And vice versa of course here!

Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?

Secrets that could damage your relationship or things that take away from your marriage are not good.

Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?

Agree with you

-DP