Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour…
Allah Miyan helps those who move their haath/pair and help themselves. There is no excuse for him hitting you…however I do think that you should reflect on any mistakes that you might be making in the marriage. For example, and I may be wrong, but I get a sort of needy/dependent vibe from your posts. If I recall correctly, you live only 15 minutes away from your parents and I think that you can manage to visit your parents by yourself without having to wait for your husband to take you there or having someone from your family come to pick you up. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you may have mentioned in your previous thread that one of your husband’s complaints was that he feels you ask him (rather frequently) to take you to your parents’ home. Again, I’m not saying that’s any justification for him to hit you…but it’s something to reflect over.
The other point that I want to make is that…knowing the social stigma that divorce carries…your family might be afraid of you possibly getting a divorce…and their idea of “helping/supporting” you might be to continue their “talks” with your husband and his parents for (God knows how long?) to try and keep you in the marriage…when that might be ineffective and even dangerous. Your parents and siblings will NEVER fully understand what it feels like to be in your situation because they’re not in it. That said…you can’t be dependent upon them to save you. You know your situation better than them…and if you believe that your husband is not going to change and that things are only getting worse…then YOU need to leave him and put an end to things if nothing is helping. You can’t always wait for someone else (like your family)…you have to use your own sense/judgment…and move your own hands and feet as well.
You can try suggesting professional counseling/therapy to your husband. But that’s no guarantee that he’ll change. The consistent physical abuse comes from deep-rooted anger and control issues…and that’s hard to overcome even with therapy. Also, he might not be open to counseling…or he might lie and say that he’ll go for it, but then he either won’t go or he won’t be regular. Again, you know the state of your marriage better than we on this forum (or your parents, for that matter) do. If you know things are dysfunctional beyond repair…then get out yourself…instead of waiting for someone to drive up in a car and escort you to safety. This may also entail you having to stand up to family and making your own decisions. Whatever step you take (whether it’s to continue waiting, stay in the marriage, or divorce) will have consequence…so really think about what you want to do. And start doing things for yourself.