for the past of couple of days one of my mates has been talking about her ex and how much of a dog he is, etc etc and it got me thinking, can an ex bf/gf ruin the chance of a prospective rishta in the future?
say, for example, a girl dates a guy, and they go out for about 6 months and it ends on bad terms. 1/2 years down the line the girl gets a rishta from a bloke whos from a wonderful family, good job, high income, etc but the guy who she went out with is still bitter about the break up and bad mouths her to her future hubby, calls her a slag and makes a load of stuff up. now this effects him badly and his family and so thus decides not to marry the girl.
I've heard first-hand accounts of some guy (ex or otherwise) trying to ruin a girl's reputation......but the prospective guy talks to her about it, gets to know her, is open-minded and can leave her past in the past......and they get married.
There have been examples where the partners themselves have been entirely honest about their former flames and how far they went with them.......and a marriage still takes place. Other times it doesn't.
Can an ex harm a person's future? In our conservative desi culture where there are double standards for men and women........and where the consequences are more serious for a woman...............then YES it IS possible that an ex can ruin her future although that DOESN'T ALWAYS happen.
^In conservative desi culture.........we all know that it can take A LOT LESS than an ornery and bitter ex to ruin a girl's future.
for the past of couple of days one of my mates has been talking about her ex and how much of a dog he is, etc etc and it got me thinking, can an ex bf/gf ruin the chance of a prospective rishta in the future?
say, for example, a girl dates a guy, and they go out for about 6 months and it ends on bad terms. 1/2 years down the line the girl gets a rishta from a bloke whos from a wonderful family, good job, high income, etc but the guy who she went out with is still bitter about the break up and bad mouths her to her future hubby, calls her a slag and makes a load of stuff up. now this effects him badly and his family and so thus decides not to marry the girl.
so can an ex harm a persons future? hmmmm.....
ofcourse it can, thats why never date a loser!!! or better dont date at all...just marry ;) :P
^People change...they may have dated before, and now they don't...or it may just be the acceptable thing to do to find a marriage partner in their social circle...some girls are just not lucky to have parents that take the effort to look out for them for a guy, like our parents do.
As with everything else...it depends on a case by case basis...I know a desi girl who had a boyfriend, married got divorced, and now is a better Muslim then most of us will ever be...and has a good word of recommendation from everyone that has met her...
Well... a background check needs to be done. IMO, sticking to family is never enough... a check should be done with the girl's (or guy's) friends, coworkers, roommates, etc. If the future partner knows the ex, then I would expect them to talk about the future wife.
Not only an ex, but anyone is capable of ruining chances of a future partner. There are some guys who hear bad things about the girl (or vice versa) that they're going to marry, but they get married anyways because they got to know the person really well before marriage. Sometimes you can just tell if someone has just bad intentions. If that ex is making up crap, defaming her, then that is wrong. He should stick to the truth. If that ex knows something about her like a bad habit, medical illness, something strange about her personality, etc. that can affect the future of the marriage then he should only share that.