Can a married Man/woman have an affair

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21

Salaam!!!!

ok ppl enuff.........no more larai jhagra...........

Deysee behna ji!!! wasalaam....jeeti raho...tanoon vi ithay vekh ke barri khushi hoi....kithay honday oo tussi ...eid da chan hi ho gay oo
ok lemme clear something here.....
Qabil qadar Muzna ji...saaday tay ghussa na howo.....when i said this is an idiotic question...i never meant that...."Wo" idiot hein.... tooba tooba Allah tooba
what i meant was....that as being muslim we all know its a sin....and thats what saqib ji is saying......asking a question can they have an affair....???? come on.....
we can discuss why these evils r happening in society....(ofcourse deen aur mazhub se doori)....But there is nothing in the world that can justify this thing....This affair will remain a sin even if that baba is 80 yrs old or 100......his age can't justify her sin........and yes muzna ji is quite right when she said that is she had courage enuff to have an affair...she should have courage to file for a divorce.........

Deysee behna ji.......no one is justifying here for the actions of those "ultimate muslims or molvees".......
lemme tell u one thing sweet heart, when u seek guidance don't look toward the molvees or ultimate muslims....open that book ....we all call...."Quran"....and u'll find answers to all of ur questions......
Call me narrow minded but that woman should be "sangsaared".......
Thats what Allah and Rasool has said.....
Plzzzzz ppl don't justify ur sins....

ok ji hum chullay....Allah Sab ko naik hiddayut de....

Rab rakha All....

P.S. some times i just wonder....why whenever someone answers or say something according to Islam....he/she gets that label....."Narrow Minded"...is religion totally out of fashion guys??? fill me in....

[This message has been edited by NaikLarki (edited November 30, 2000).]

22

Aslkm wa rah ma tullah Again Ya'll!

O' bayt oye! Ay ki padi, padi da sor honda?
(Is that right???).

HEY PPL, BOSS BAYCHARAY KAY PEECHAY KIYON PARAY HO? Alright, no more dragging his name in the disscusion!!! Emphasize on the solution to the problem that has been posted up here (again, this is not intended for all of u, i mean some has already answered).

Naik Ji,
Yaar, ithay wee KoE dua Shua Punkho! Kaay usa wee naik Howayn! tehee...
Oye! Tusi Ay kee pucha??? Mazabi log "narrow minded" hmmm... that makes most of us being in the same ship then. Well, if thats what ppl think, so be it, for we are, what we believe and practice, and thats what makes us , "US" :)

But hmmm.. No, Naik ji, yaar I don't agree that thinking in a religious way wud make us 'narrow minded' infront of others. Problem is that some times there arise certain difficulties that can be solved with out bringing the religion issue in. I mean the problem above religiously straight forwardly is wrong! But yaar, come to think of it, I mean lets say that Some Tipak named fellow (name is totally fictional), who is married has an affair with Peeta (fictional again). No one is aware of it. Even if anyone is aware of it, no body will stone them, cuz in their families it'll be dealt with as a "HUSHH, HuShhh" case. So how do u then deal with the case honey Bun?

One more thing, Naik Suger, May Allah SWT keep us "ALL" away from the sher of those ignorant and so called "pious" ppl, And May He the Subhana Wata Ala give us all the "sense" to keep our eyes open! And yes, Alhamdulilah that we are blessed with the most Gracious Allah's own words to guide us thru on this winding path of life. I can never be more Thankfull! Alhamdulilah! May we all be protected and kept in His supreme Aman! Ameen, Sum Ameen!

Fi Aman Ullah!
Best wishes ever,
Daysee Behna

23

Boss, the answer to your question is simple: physically, married men and women can have affairs, i.e. they have the physical ability to do it. But according to Islam, which we all believe is the truth (assuming we are Muslims of course), it is not allowed. How disallowed is it? The prescribed punishment for extra marital affairs in Islam is stoning to death for the man and the woman. Instead of choosing to be involved in extra marital affairs after the marriage, they should have the sense to refuse the marriage before, or at least do the permissible and get a divorce.

24

Dear NaikLarki....

Yaar you know I believe that nothing gets resolved with ghussa -- it's an exercise in futility so I don't do it. Especially not when I am trying to get a point across.

Let's take a step back and consider what I said and to what concept it was directed. When I made the comment that "It is due to narrow and selective vision that our society is unable to resolve and eradicate such sensitive issues" I was making reference to the fact that we don't openly discuss controversial issues. We are very reluctant to air such things publicly because they make us uncomfortable.

It is also very natural for our insecurities to prevent us from discussing problems that question our beliefs. What we fail to recognize is that we must have faith that our religion is RIGHT and no matter what happens, ultimately it will win the debate. We seem to be afraid to even tread in grey areas for fear of coming to an unexpected conclusion.
My personal opinion is that for centuries men of different ethnicities and faiths have been questioning the very basic principles of Islam -- have they managed to eliminate it? No. Accusations, allegations and false witness have all been administered. Antagonists have tried again and again to shake the foundations of our faith - they have not yet succeeded. Can we not feel confident that a discussion of this sort can take place without becoming a big deal?

This is where my comment was directed. Your interprettation that the narrow-minded accusation was directed to ppl that bring religion into the discussion is totally inaccurate. If that is what you understood from my message then I failed to relay it appropriately. And besides....if that was true then I would be including myself in the group because I also made reference to faith.

msaqibj - I have, at no point, labelled myself as broad-minded. But we digress. That is not the issue here. The issue is whether or not the topic should be discussed. I believe it should and I have explained why and given the benefits. Perhaps you can share why you believe it should not be and give your reasons.

I agree that discussing something to eradicate is the key and what we should be aiming for...but if we cannot get to the discussing part, we have no hope of getting to the eradication part. In order to show somebody that it is wrong, we need to enter into discussion. It is a phased process. First we talk about it, then we, GENTLY, explain it's "evil" side. Finally, we convince the audience that the activity in question is "bad" and "not acceptable" morally, ethically AND religiously.

When BoSS posed the question he clearly stated that he knows it's not right. Being Muslim we can safely assume that he understood that from the religious standpoint. Now, if we are wise we will not try to convince him by providing more religious evidence. We will try other means and then in the end Islam will prove itself to be the ultimate authority without us becoming self-righteous preachers - "maulvis".

Finally msaqibj, everyone has the right to hold an opinion that differs from others. Here, at Gup Shup, that right is never violated, you may rest assured of that.

Enough of this let's get back to the topic.....

25

BoSS....

I have a feeling that you've presented this question to dicuss the "compassionate" side of human nature. Is that true?

Are you perhaps suggesting that since the parties in these circumstances are "majboor" due to uncontrolled factors and should be looked upon with mercy?

Please explain.

26

Ok Now that some one is willing to listen...lez get back to the topic.
First of all as I have said before that this is something which goes on in our society regardless of geography or religion so we should ATLEAST discuss it.

Secondly, I felt that this topic needed to be posted and I wasn't expecting this coming from any girl...but it was nice to see at least some reponses. Also, I know people tend to take a back seat on issues like this because this one is one of those shush shush topics...or what impression am I gonna leave if i bring this up in a public forum...kinda thing. The point I'm trying to make here is that there are lots of "not allowed" things which go on in our society and the first positive step is to bring them on the table.

Back to the discussion and using the same example I'd say put urself in that girl's shoes and think about the pressures on her. She can't get a divorse cuz even if she wants she won't be encouraged to make herself a career afterwards.

The chaudry and the girl are not on the same mental wavelength to come to an agreement or even start a civilized discussion. Also, in the worst case, is the chaudry gonna let her live....yeah right!

What is her family gonna tell their relatives....why divorse? who is the third person?

On the other hand where is she going with an affair? what is the guy thinking?

Why don't girls have a say in arranged marriages?
My list goes on....but i guess i should take a majority approach... man! my weekend is over, tough luck with that girl and the life goes on.

ciao,
BoSS

27

I can't believe that some of you are blaming the girl for not getting divorce first before having an affair. I think you have been in the west for too long. If she had the courage or the choice or the support of family or society, why she would have married this old Chaudhry in the first place? This girl is a poor 'khargosh'(rabbit) in the claws a deadly tiger (her parents, Chaudry, and society and we are part of it). She will never escape from those conditions in any win win way. No matter what she does she is going to loose.
And further, if you are not in touch with our desi society of back home, this girl is not having an affair. Affair is a very lawyerly word meant for people like us who have choices and means to use them. She is just getting her certain physical needs fulfilled that chaudary can't. I bet even old chaudry does not mind it as long she is staying with her and performs other wifely duites without fault. It is only chaudry's neighbours and the desi elite(you and me) who have problem with it. your anguish is genuine but should be targeted at chaudry likes not the girl. Anyways, my heart goes for that poor girl and many more like her.sad.

CM

28

Salamalykum loko…!!!

**Deysee Behna…**Tu es tone wich boldi gannay de russ wargi mithi lagni ay…su Sohnay Rab De :)Tay meri chan tenooN duwa na deevaaN gay tay kinooN deevaaN gay…das ki chai da ee :slight_smile:
Ok sweetie lemme give u duwayein of my choice:) Rab sohna tenooN naik Gharwala deevay :)Khush…?
Meri Sohni Muzna Apa…I got ur point and i never said that u r wrong…but u didn’t get my point…

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif

All i said was he put this topic here in a wrong way…he shouldn’t have asked…they can/can’t…he shud have asked …why is this happening…??
Anyway …Luv N Peace :slight_smile:

Rab Rakha All…

P.S. ChanMahi Ji Jayri Rab Sohnay Tu nai dardi unooN Khargooshni tay na kowo ji…tussi tay seedhay seedhay gunnah nooN justify ker rahe Oo…

29

Boss and all others who are standing with you in the same line.
Please chagne the question like "NaikLarki" mentiond. I agree 100% with her that justifying a sin is a sin as well but to adress a sin in way to eradicate it from the society is an excelent effort.
If you have put your question in as NaikLarki said :how can we get rid of this evil" then it would have been more appropriate and more addresable but the way your wrote your question, it gives an idea that this was a try to justify the SIN.

To answer your 60 years old baba and a Graduate from Lahore college story, first of all that Baba is stupid, he should have not married to a younger girl if he was nto able to keep his wife out of the sin life.
Second that girl is a sinner along with her male partner. I am little surperised that she has a courage to be a ZAANIA, she has a courage to break the limits of Allah (swt),
she has a courage to sneak out of the house to fulfill her hormonic desires, she has a courage to keep her whole family in dark about her sin, But she does not have courage to file the divorce?
That is something strange and full of evils.
Folk, please, please living in a life like this is worst than making some neighbours unhappy. If any one thinks that there would a society pressure on a person for not getting divorce in this situation that is wrong. If a person thinks that the life of the girl/boy would be ruined after the divorce, that is wrong. Ask that person who is involved with you in breaking the limits of Allah (SWT) to accept you as a spouse. Get rid of the man/woman you don't love and be with one you like to be in a legitimate way under the limits of Allah (SWT)and his Prophat (PBUH). After all Allah (SWT) has mentioned in his Holly BOOK that ZAANEE males are for ZAANEE females.

Promoting Islam and Pakistan positively won't insult your intelligence. Unless you are an IDIOT.

30

Naik ji, O’ ki aal chal ay twada Balo? Ay thay baree E haTim Tai mood mei ay tho! Oye Kuriay, gul ki hie??? :slight_smile:

Saqib Ji my comments on ur recent responce:

… ???..!!!.. * Huh?!..

SsStumpted out,
Daysee Behna

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/redface.gif

Ps.
pssst>> M.K & W.B<<< …so what was it? Light travels faster than sound?? (Voops, too loud!?) tehee… gotta love life!

31

Saqib ji is 100% right......
and Deysee Behna.......janemunn....sheeeeeesh
Rab de sohnay Rasool nay qyaamut di ek ay vi nishaani dussi si....
"Ke ek aisa time Aan wala hei ke uss waqt jadooN koi deen di gal kare ga...tay uss da mazzak mushrakeen nai balkay doojay muslimaan
urrawun gay....."

Rab Rakha

P.S. "Aur Logo Apnay Deen KO thattha(mazak) mutt banao....main nai kehndi ay.....Rab Da Sohna Rasool kehnda.......

32

Oye ike baat yaad aAyE! Ap Sub ko mayra Bhari bharkum & “paywer” (pure) paindo “Salama Laykum!”

[Please change the question like “NaikLarki” mentiond.]
Achay saay Saqib Bhai,
Since she already altered it, why not bring ourselves in more focus now?! And lets get on with the solution to the problem here. Even if still isn’t justified, why not re-ask the question in the way suitable to ur judgement and la de da… ( I mean proceed ahead) :slight_smile:

By the way Naik ji, Yaar kaan ko direct haaath saay pakro yaa kamar kay pechay saay hath ko ghoma kay pakro, baath tho ike he hai na?!

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif

Ab GaEE!

BoSS khud kidhar hain??? :slight_smile:

Not stumped as b’4,
Daysee Behna

Ps. So Muzna ji, Yaar the lights were on, but no body was home :wink: (okay, Okay, okay, advance sorry if I’m wrong here) tehee…

“Ur belief in ur dreams makes them a reality. U are ur dreams. May u dream ur life BUT NOT dream ur life away.”

33

Thanks NaikLarki for your moral and positive support.
And I fully support your points you made in your post.

Achee seee Daysee Behan:
I made my point in my previous post and I told the solution of the situation too.
There is NO excuse to live in the life of SIN.

Promoting Islam and Pakistan positively won't insult your intelligence.
[This message has been edited by msaqibj (edited March 15, 1999).]

[This message has been edited by msaqibj (edited March 15, 1999).]

34

Hey Daisy Behana, I'm around...just got back from work...to tell u the truth I'm in "LUV and PEACE" so don't feel like dragging the conversation hehe... ;)
And yeah don't get into a fight with "her"..i don't wanna get into an awkward position :)
Saqib sahib yaar aap CUP lay lain.

ciao,
BoSS

35

Aslkm Wa rah ma tulla!
Saqib Ji, Gotcha! YesSs indeed, WAllaah! that is true, no denial to that at all :)Jazak Ala khair for the reply.

Naik ji, yaar kOee Sayanay kethain hain kay isSs zindagi ka golden asool hai, “Dosron pa apna guman na karna?” Tehee… Acha suniyay, suniyay, Bohoth pehlay aap nay is forum mei ike phool meri nazar kiya tha, here’z something from me with sincere wishes,

~Nooray Khuda hai kufar pay khanda zan
Phonkon saay yay charagh bhojaya na Jayay ga :slight_smile:

So cheer up meri jan, and don’t worry, over here Alhamdulilah we are all on the right track, but just remember that being on the net makes comunications a bit tuf, in terms of missunderstanding one another due to lacking full background info.’ Ab sudhro Allah ki Naik bandi aur teelyan na jalaO :)(take it lightly, no harm intended honest!).

BoSS, whats with the “BEHANA???” !!! (trying to make an angry face, but can’t!)

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif

HumpuFf!
Ji aap bayKhoof wo khather rahyay, Mie kiyon laron “OS” saay, wo tho Allah inthni achee hain kaay kiya bathaOn?! Allah UsSay bachay aur uSs kay dushmanon ko bhee :slight_smile:
Ab khusH?!
! PpPpOoOoOoOF! (W.Bz Hit! howzit? Haveta take that much atleast!) :):):slight_smile:

Putting the dastanaay away, Unless required again…!!!
Daysee “BEhNa” :slight_smile:

36

huh huh huh huh…

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif

Hum channay baichtay rahe…aur “Unn”
ke haath se inaam saqib ji le gay…
Damn Damn Damn Damn…Tough Luck

aur meri meethi lassi …Daysee Behna
i am always cheered up :)aur jan meri…aagay hi naik hoon…ab es se zayada kia sudhrooN :)yahan kuch din aur rahi tau biggernay ke chances zaroor hein… hehehhehe…damn this is such a funny laugh…i better do it in my style…ahahhahhahahahhah… :slight_smile:

Ok Ok Peace…thats what i said earlier…:slight_smile:
and hey thanx for the sheyr :)u r such a shweet sister…“unki” :slight_smile:

Rab Rakha

P.S. Ppl no hard feelings…me a little jujbaati… :)so i guess i should leave u guys alone and go back to my poetry section:)TaTa

37

OoOooOOpPpSs......forgot to ask one thing.... :)
Deysee Behna Ji....how do u make that red face.....Tell tell tell..... :)

38

Boss and all others who got offended with my posts in this thread: Please do not take it hard and do not take it personal. I understand your frustration and I know my way of writing is waaaaay toooo straight forward. This is my weak point. I am working on it. I am learnig how to put my views in the soft words so that it would not hurt some one else's feelings.
So, please all of you take it easy.
Rab Rakha

Promoting Islam and Pakistan positively won't insult your intelligence.

39

Oye Naik PEyari, Pholon ki Kiyari!
Chunay Baychnay walay ko khud chunay nahein khana chahyay, phir maror uthtain hain :wink: (imitating W.B) hehe…
Yaar Best heroin award tho lay chuki hain aap, ab aur doosron kay leyay choro!

Aur, Aur, aur…Kidhar ko chul deen aap yaar? Aur hard feelings kiya bala hothi hei??? Please bathaO na

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/redface.gif

Oye! Naik ko makhan bhee lagana atha hei, hmm…WOw! ZabardaSsSst Khoobi!!! :wink: kidding :slight_smile:

Acha suno Meri Jam-e-Sheereen Naik ji,

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/redface.gif

yon banathain hain>>> : and o <<< Inn dono ko combine karo ab

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/redface.gif

:)Allah SWT tujhay kush and Sokhi (not the skinny one) rakhay, Ameen!

Saqib Ji, Don’t worry about the hard feelings sheelings, that’s not a problem in my case atleast. So :slight_smile:

Till Then,

Fi Aman Ullah!
Daysee Behna

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