It is almost astonishing. "Get to know your relatives" is a game I have not seen played before. I cannot comprehend that out of all your cousins and BILs, someone never leaked a clue before. Not all men are like that. How come a large claimedly religious male population of your family have been indoctrined with such ideas??
I am sorry to ask this but do most of the people in these groups, including their wives, are of low educational level and recently come from an undeveloped village of Pakistan?
This is outrageous. I have seen married men (note not happily married) sometimes make the odd visit to a club or something but they are hardly people I would call religious. But to be so outwardly religious AND have such an organized event which sounds no different than horny freshman on spring break is pretty pathetic.
I say let the wives know, sit back and watch the fireworks. And oh, your husband will need new friends.
You are assuming that telling will set them straight, rather than ruin marriages and family ties.
Trying to set them straight does not mean telling other people about their sins. You can try to set them straight by talking to them or getting your husband to talk to them.
Oh and if he says he wasn’t doing any of that ask em how he would feel if you hung out with a bunch of girls taking pics of butts and d****. Not to mention going to clubs and hanging out with half naked, half drunk men
Rukhsaar bibi few points for your consideration :-
1.People some time say or do something just to check out the reaction of particular person. Your husband might be playing this game. Do not take it in wrong way, but as it is just the begining of relationship so you should be carefull. We guys believe (generally ) that girls / women cant stomach any secrets. He might be just checking your strength in that particular area.
Ofcourse, you should believe that you husband is the only angel in this group of evil perverts who all are hyporites and bla bla bla.
Well girly, things are not in black n white mostly. Just like you other women might also consider their men as angels
Your husband is porbably generalising and putting in some mirch masala. May be some people are indulged in these activities and others are not
ogling at opposite sex or hott bodies does not automatically make someone perverts. If this considered the criteria then half of the shareef decent girls here out do men, hands down. Most of the experienced wives understand this, and consider it trivial. The only issue is religious morality, for which everyone is answerable for his/her deeds.
im with LB and everyone else... i would feel like i should tell.. probably bursting at the seams.. and i probably would if i had found out this all by myself... you didnt, telling on them means telling on your hubby.... i wouldnt go there...
im sure all the women involved know what their husbands are upto.... as sick as it is and you wanting to put things right... dont do anything bout it...
and maybe next yr.. all the women in the family can say they wanna go to and build on their relationships etc... hell if anyone should be building anything, its the saas' and bahus!! ... lots of building and understanding there.. i say tag along next yr... ;)
That's sooooo wrong, are all these men the same age group? If so then it's understandable but like going to pervert over women with your papi, grandpa and uncles is soooooo wrong (I'd get my butt spanked if they even got the faintest suspicion of me going near birds with the wrong intention, I am only open like that with a uncle in Pak and we use to compliment women together if we saw them at a resteruant or something) but if they're cousins and brothers then that's understandable to a certain extent, at least it's not abnormal.
I think you should just let it go, Musalman bhaiyon ke gunaahon pe parda daalna chaahiyey, roz-e-mehshar Allaah aap ke gunaaho pe parda daalen ge.
i agree. make sure your husband does not go with them again - im assuming he wouldn’t anyway - tell him you guys can do better fun things together. and leave the rest be, like many have said, the wives can’t be that naive, and it’s not even about them being from a village or not. even village women can instinctively know what their partners are up to.
Thats is just so pathetic. I am soooo chocked!!!!!!!!!!
Does your husband have acces to the pictures they take of the hot babes?
Get hold of all the pictures and e-mail them to the wives, cc. to the husbands. mail from an anonymous email adress and send from a public library so noone can trace who send it from where;)
Rukhsarbib - you should keep quiet about, cos sometimes when someone speaks of others sin - they normally get a lot of trouble coming their way, it might even cause break-ups etc. The main thing is that don't let your husband ever go again, and hopefully this will get the other guys wondering, and then your husband can explain to them its wrong, and then his duty will be fullfilled and then you should just continue to live your life. I don't think you should tell your aunt, as things will be blown out of proportion, and also big trouble between families, or maybe it should be done 'undercover' like a note to say 'what u r doing is wrong' anonoymously.
w'salam
Maybe a more subtle approach could be taken here. My point of view on vacation and leisure time is that its for families. We have such a small amount of leisure/vacation time (in USA anyway) that its to be used for husband, wife and kids. Period. If there are others included thats fine but we do things together. I never understood when people separate from their families for "pleasure" trips. Anyway, if your husband started bowing out of these trips because he "wants more quality time with his family", then possibly the others would follow suit.
I think the problem is that you don't want to betray your husband's confidence, and I wouldn't encourage that. Do you think that the other women will put 2 and 2 together if your husband stops going and you just generally discourage it?
I am planning on staying out of this in light of the hadith quoted by Maddy and also popular opinion by you sweet guppies :-)
My husband and I spoke some more about this and decided that it is best for him to confront and deal with this issue with the rest of the men because if I go in - it would make both of us look bad and like backbiting nuts, plus it will strain relationships between the husbands and wives which we definitely do not want to do.
I have told my husband to bring this topic up before the next camping trip is planned otherwise he and my brothers are definitely not going next year!!
shouldn’t it start from home?
