good…did people around you raised their eyebrows ever for calling him by name?
once i kept asking my Bhabhi who ‘yeh’ is? she kept saying ‘your brother’…i asked her what’s his name? after beating around the bush for several times, she finally said, **“Nemat Khana” **and asked me to get lost…hahahaha…OMG! she still didn’t tell his name properly!
I don’t know why it’s big deal in Pakistani culture.
I think my mom calls my dad by his name, but I’m not sure cause I haven’t paid attention, however my grandma calls my grandpa ‘Butt saab’ -If I had a wife, I would make her call me Butt saab too, though it may it sound weird but I think it’s a way to pay homage to my heritage.
My mom calls my dad “hajju”. I later found out that she named him after her retarded cousin who went mental after pissing in the graveyard one day. When I asked her why she calls him by such a name she said “ghussay mein aik dum hajju ki Tehran baatein karte hain”
**Yee ** aeen gai tu pochoon gi
**Inn **ko kaha tha k itni jaldi na kareen
**sunyee **aatey howey roti lai aayee ga suntey-hain main kia keh rahi hoon? bachoon-k-aaba aeen gai tu call karoon gi tumharey-bhai aeen tu un sai pochoon gi
Cultural differences is the only answer. Your parents came from a background where it was a taboo but it is not taboo even in some parts of the same country.
Remember something which is taboo in one culture is norm in other. Some people understand this principle within seconds some do not understand their whole life.
One simple example , in West the brides wear white dress. In Pakistan and India a bride can’t even think of wearing a white dress.
It actually comes from Arab culture the terms commonly used are Abbu Khalid or Umm Kulsum for example, however even friends use these let alone just the spouse.
I can’t get over why he shouldn’t speak that often to his own wife. That to me is bigger than the name thing. I call my husband by his name and call him tum. My mom called my dad both aap and tum and so does my MIL. Get over it people!
in older generations most couples prefer not to call each others by name but now its not a big deal.
people around me call thier husbands by name and some use AAP and some use TUM.
altohugh my mother doesn’t call my dad by his name neither do my dad call her by name. when they are talking to others then they take the names but not when they are directly talking to each other.
Because the cultural meaning has disappeared. My great-grandmother would have a fit if she found any girl married or unmarried wearing white or black. A friend of mine recently wore a dress that had black at her wedding. People just have stopped believing a colour could give you good or bad luck.
I call my hubby by his name. My parents called each other by thier names. When my mum went pakistan first time after parents got married all her jethanis found it shock horror that she called my dad by his name lol they all refer to their husbands as ‘x ke abu’
My parents are kind of the same. My mum doesn’t ever refer to my dad by his name, but then again neither does my dad ever call my mum by name. It’s more of a “suniye”, “sunaaiye” type of relationship. In public they use words like “unhon ne yeh kaha thaa”, etc. But again, they understand that they are from a different era. they totally don’t have a problem with my calling my husband by name. My husband’s family is a little more conservative though and they are less understanding of the new generation. Every family has their little oddities I guess.
