Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
Trust me, I have done that for fun when I want to irritate him…
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
good…did people around you raised their eyebrows ever for calling him by name?
once i kept asking my Bhabhi who ‘yeh’ is? she kept saying ‘your brother’…i asked her what’s his name? after beating around the bush for several times, she finally said, **“Nemat Khana” **and asked me to get lost…hahahaha…OMG! she still didn’t tell his name properly! 
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
What she should have said is
Please pass the phone to the guy who took my virginity'
lets not make any assumptions here...:D
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
good...did people around you raised their eyebrows ever for calling him by name?
No, they just laughed...aji suniye coming from me is quite hilarious apparently.
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
I don't know why it's big deal in Pakistani culture.
I think my mom calls my dad by his name, but I'm not sure cause I haven't paid attention, however my grandma calls my grandpa 'Butt saab' -If I had a wife, I would make her call me Butt saab too, though it may it sound weird but I think it's a way to pay homage to my heritage.
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
My mom calls my dad "hajju". I later found out that she named him after her retarded cousin who went mental after pissing in the graveyard one day. When I asked her why she calls him by such a name she said "ghussay mein aik dum hajju ki Tehran baatein karte hain"
awkward seal
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
Yee ** aeen gai tu pochoon gi
**Inn **ko kaha tha k itni jaldi na kareen
**sunyee **aatey howey roti lai aayee ga
**suntey-hain main kia keh rahi hoon?
bachoon-k-aaba aeen gai tu call karoon gi
tumharey-bhai aeen tu un sai pochoon gi
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
A couple of days ago, my mother was talking to my sister in law on the phone (she lives over seas for now). And she asked her if she wanted to speak with anyone else. She then answered with my brothers name. After the call my mother and father were lecturing my brother about how he shouldn't speak to her that often and to tell that her that she should stop calling him by his name. They said a wife shouldn't do that and that she wouldn't respect him in the future.
Naturally, afterwards I asked my parents why they told him that. They said it was a matter of respect. And then gave themselves as an example. My mum never calls my dad by his name at home. Sometimes when she's out she'll say his name but otherwise she doesn't. I didn't really pay much attention to it until now, because my sister in law asked to talk to my brother. What else was she supposed to say?
Maybe its because I've grown up in a western society. But how does the wife not saying her husbands name show respect? I don't understand it. What else is she meant to call him? Shouldn't the husband comply to these rules as well?
The more I think about it, the stranger it seems to me. (like I said, maybe its because I've grown up in a western society)
Please, do tell if this is a common occurrence. And if you or your spouse do this as well, and if you do what do you call them? I would really like to know.
Cultural differences is the only answer. Your parents came from a background where it was a taboo but it is not taboo even in some parts of the same country.
Remember something which is taboo in one culture is norm in other. Some people understand this principle within seconds some do not understand their whole life.
One simple example , in West the brides wear white dress. In Pakistan and India a bride can't even think of wearing a white dress.
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
We were like "In" k paida honey sai pehley uncle kin k abba they? what did u used to call him?
Yes umer shareef has answer for that.
Honay walay munnay k abba.
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
Munnay ke hone wale abba?
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
It actually comes from Arab culture the terms commonly used are Abbu Khalid or Umm Kulsum for example, however even friends use these let alone just the spouse.
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
A couple of days ago, my mother was talking to my sister in law on the phone (she lives over seas for now). And she asked her if she wanted to speak with anyone else. She then answered with my brothers name. After the call my mother and father were lecturing my brother about how he shouldn't speak to her that often and to tell that her that she should stop calling him by his name. They said a wife shouldn't do that and that she wouldn't respect him in the future.
Naturally, afterwards I asked my parents why they told him that. They said it was a matter of respect. And then gave themselves as an example. My mum never calls my dad by his name at home. Sometimes when she's out she'll say his name but otherwise she doesn't. I didn't really pay much attention to it until now, because my sister in law asked to talk to my brother. What else was she supposed to say?
Maybe its because I've grown up in a western society. But how does the wife not saying her husbands name show respect? I don't understand it. What else is she meant to call him? Shouldn't the husband comply to these rules as well?
The more I think about it, the stranger it seems to me. (like I said, maybe its because I've grown up in a western society)
Please, do tell if this is a common occurrence. And if you or your spouse do this as well, and if you do what do you call them? I would really like to know.
I can't get over why he shouldn't speak that often to his own wife. That to me is bigger than the name thing. I call my husband by his name and call him tum. My mom called my dad both aap and tum and so does my MIL. Get over it people!
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
in older generations most couples prefer not to call each others by name but now its not a big deal.\
people around me call thier husbands by name and some use AAP and some use TUM.
altohugh my mother doesn't call my dad by his name neither do my dad call her by name. when they are talking to others then they take the names but not when they are directly talking to each other.
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
That's exactly what I was thinking!
then they would call like "Array Sunte Ho", or "Suneen"
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
Cultural differences is the only answer. Your parents came from a background where it was a taboo but it is not taboo even in some parts of the same country. Remember something which is taboo in one culture is norm in other. Some people understand this principle within seconds some do not understand their whole life. One simple example , in West the brides wear white dress. In Pakistan and India a bride can't even think of wearing a white dress.
off topic ,but white/off white for brides is in vogue atleast in Pakistan these days.
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
off topic ,but white/off white for brides is in vogue atleast in Pakistan these days.
Because the cultural meaning has disappeared. My great-grandmother would have a fit if she found any girl married or unmarried wearing white or black. A friend of mine recently wore a dress that had black at her wedding. People just have stopped believing a colour could give you good or bad luck.
I call my hubby by his name. My parents called each other by thier names. When my mum went pakistan first time after parents got married all her jethanis found it shock horror that she called my dad by his name lol they all refer to their husbands as 'x ke abu'
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
A couple of days ago, my mother was talking to my sister in law on the phone (she lives over seas for now). And she asked her if she wanted to speak with anyone else. She then answered with my brothers name. After the call my mother and father were lecturing my brother about how he shouldn't speak to her that often and to tell that her that she should stop calling him by his name. They said a wife shouldn't do that and that she wouldn't respect him in the future.
Naturally, afterwards I asked my parents why they told him that. They said it was a matter of respect. And then gave themselves as an example. My mum never calls my dad by his name at home. Sometimes when she's out she'll say his name but otherwise she doesn't. I didn't really pay much attention to it until now, because my sister in law asked to talk to my brother. What else was she supposed to say?
Maybe its because I've grown up in a western society. But how does the wife not saying her husbands name show respect? I don't understand it. What else is she meant to call him? Shouldn't the husband comply to these rules as well?
The more I think about it, the stranger it seems to me. (like I said, maybe its because I've grown up in a western society)
Please, do tell if this is a common occurrence. And if you or your spouse do this as well, and if you do what do you call them? I would really like to know.
My parents are kind of the same. My mum doesn't ever refer to my dad by his name, but then again neither does my dad ever call my mum by name. It's more of a "suniye", "sunaaiye" type of relationship. In public they use words like "unhon ne yeh kaha thaa", etc. But again, they understand that they are from a different era. they totally don't have a problem with my calling my husband by name. My husband's family is a little more conservative though and they are less understanding of the new generation. Every family has their little oddities I guess.
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
... does make you wonder how would a wife call her hubby then, if he is upstairs part of house or another room she would have to go up to him for whatever rather than call out name.
she would say "SUNIYEEEEE"
Re: Calling your spouse by his name?
Don’t judge. Maybe it’s been so long since the nikkah, that she forgot his name…