Look Mama, this kid, whose living with you, isn't an exact copy of you or your husband. So have expectations of him, but also keep in mind he isn't as responsible, caring, or studious as you were. However, he is an individual, and maybe you both learned some responsibilities at an early age in life, however, its gonna take him some time. And his time will probably start when he gets his first job, which he has to have because he has to pay rent, food, and soo on. Right now you and your husband are doing everything that was not done for you, hence him not understanding responsibility.
Im not saying make drastic changes, but understand that everything is handed to him in a platter, so why do you think he would ever want to be responsible on his own?
And believe me, maybe times have changed since you were in college but most of us still work our butts off in school. Most of us still don't have the luxury to take the easy way out (getting someone to do our HW, always cheating).