This question came to mind after reading a recent blog.
I believe that any man who raises his hand on his wife is a coward person, as only a coward would hit a person weaker than him. Yet, in our society, a man who gets beaten by his wife is also referred to as a buzdil mard.
I am not trying to be funny here, but just trying to draw a parallel. Our society calling an abused husband buzdil, means that in an opposite situation, he should be called bahadur. Do you see something wrong with that mindset? Maybe, I am mixing two different things here.
In our society, we make it a point to show our strength and one way to display that is to abuse the weak. When someone is sensible enough to rise above the stereotypes, we make fun of them. A man is not manly enough if he has no "ROB" on his wife and children. A woman is not womanly enough if she doesn't cook and clean or is not as obedient as her inlaws or husband would like her to be.
You're not mixing two different things....one is quite directly related to the other because both are mindsets held by the same type of people; both feed off each other.
A couple was celebrating their silver jublee. A friend of they guy asked, "I am so impressed the way you guys have spent your life. so smooth and so happy, whats the secret". The guy said, its very simple. We have draw a line on what matters are mine and what matters are her. I don't poke my nose when its something she is supposed to deal with and vice versa.
Friend got impressed. He asked, so how did you guys draw the line ?
The guy said, its simple .. Anything which is big is my responsibility. Like US invading Iraq, Russia invading Crimea, TTP attacks in pakistan. And when I talk, she never pokes her nose in my words. And when its her field i.e., what should we cook, who should we talk to, how should i spend my money, what should we buy etc ... I don't poke my nose.
I guess, isi liye kahtay hain, ghar ki batain ghar mai hi rahain.