Re: "But she is like my mother..."
Assalamo alaikum
Interesting question...
Its quite strange how we become bothered and uncomfortable at the thought that our loved ones may become attracted to others or that others may start trying to flirt with them. To be honest this is not a rare situation, in fact it is a common thought that go's through the minds of people. This is because we naturally want our relationship to be stable and build on trust. Lets admit it, no one likes to hear the fact that thier boyfriend is finding other women more appealing or that he is going to dump you for another women. This drives you to become suspicious and puts your mind at unease.
We, as Muslims, have to ask ourselves why are our relationships not based on trust. So why do we even doubt the fact that our partner might fall for someone else.
The simple answer to this is because the boyfrieng-girlfriend relationship is not a correct relationship between men and women. This boyfriend-girlfriend relationship is very popular in the western countries and it has not brought a lasting, loving and stable relationship. In fact it is known that many boys and girls have had many many partners and then dumped them after they foud someone else.
So when most people are looking to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, they are usually looking at things like the attractiveness of the person. And if they find someone better looking, then they start thinking about ways to end thier previous relationship.
So ask yourself the question, My boyfreind-girlfriend, does he/she look at other girls/boys. After all what is stopping them from looking. If a more beautiful person came along and asked them out, how would they respond?
The point that i'm trying to make is that the kufaar have a very corrupt way of getting boys and girls together. The boys are looking to have sex and if a baby is a result then they run away from the responsibility. I live in the UK and over here they have the most teenage girls giving birth (13 years old being the youngest). We have to admit, the west is not a good role model for us.
Whereas in Islam, Allah (swt) has given us the best of ways in how we should establish a relationship with the opposite sex and our behaviour towards them. Allah (swt) obliged marriage as the way for us and he also gave us other rules when it comes to non-mahrem people.
So if we became Islamic, then we would know that we are not allowed to meet the opposite sex in private, so your boyfriend would not even go to see this women and hear her cry (in private), this is because the Prophet (saw) said, "when a male and female are in seclusion, the third is shaitaan".
Islam also did not allow the kissing between the opposite sex, unless they are your parents, mothers sister, fathers sisters or wife. So your boyfriend would never had allowed the women to kiss him on his cheek.
So in reality, Islam makes us have stable and trustworthy relationships where on person can trust another because he/she knows that thier partner would never kiss or visit a foreign person because they fear Allah (swt) and his punishment on yawmil akhira.
So my advice to those who have boyfriends and girlfriends is to know that the this relationship has failed and created many problems and if you want these problems then you would continue.
To know that Allah (swt) will question everyone of us about the way in which we behaved in this life and whether we followed his commands.
To know that all honour and dignity lies with Allah (swt) and his deen and that he alone knows what is good for man and what is bad for him.
Wassalaam
Ali
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*Originally posted by Aasha: *
Me and my bf study in the same skool. there is this lady teacher in our skool who was divorced and had a son who was the same age as my bf. my bf and her son became buddies and soon my bf was going to their residence, now the woman whom i am mentioning about is very religious in a way that she offers her namaz regularly and holds khatams of Yaseen and etc. she wears a duppatta on her head and has a "good relationship" with everyone which i always disregarded. she has a big name for her decency and care for the students.(male only)
my bf lets her know every secret of his , but he did not mention our relationship , which she later found out from some other student. she cried in front of him saying that my bf did not trust his "mother"my bf felt awfully ashamed. when i met her she mentioned that she loved my bf just like her son, but i did not respond or explain our relationship which she wanted me to confess.
now whenever my bf calls her she is always dicussing me and my attitude and this drives me mad. i know my bf is sensible but she is affecting our relationship day by day.
my bf often tells me that she kissed him on his fore head or his cheek and seriously this botters me. i tried to talk to him but all he says that she is just like his mother ans that i am being tooo pessimist.all i wanna know that is this jaiz from islamic veiw point as my bf is a balghee..
plz help
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