Essentially, certain areas of the world, such as the coast off Somalia and off Indonesia/Malaysia have bad piracy problems. Ships in these area will often be approached by pirates and boarded, before the crew get held for ransom.
So… 2 proposed business plans. Who here, if they had money, would provide capital for these schemes.
Escort Service. A ship, crewed by mercenaries and armed with batteries of heavy machine guns on each side, that would sail alongside commercial ships in these waters and offer protection. A flat fee would be negotiated before the commercial ship left port. A bonus commision would be paid for every pirate killed (naturally, all combat engagements would be videotaped to provide proof) and, in case the escort ship fails to offer protection, the fee would be waived.
Patrol Service. Hired to go through these waters prior to a commercial ship, the patrol ship would be a merchant ship again crewed by mercenaries, but with hidden machine guns. The idea would be that local pirates would see an apparently unarmed and slow ship, and come out to board it. Once within range, the pirates could be riddled with machine gun fire and neutralised.
With the local pirates dead and their boats destroyed, the commercial ship could then sail through the waters shortly thereafter with no danger.
We are not in 1800 anymore. there are lot more political / economical / social ... issues involved in order to actually accomplish this.
In short, not really feasable.
What are the issues? The main political issue is that of nations being upset by the idea of armed ships in their sovereign waters, but in the case of Somalia for instance, the nation has no means of enforcing its objections. Getting government permission to operate would be a challenge, but it would resolve the political issues.
Economically and socially, what stands in the way of setting up an armed escort service? It would be like an armed bodyguard service, just at sea.
First, I am sure than you could buy a mothballed destroyer or two from the former Soviet Union States. Sailors too, most drunk. Lloyds of London is the premiere risk carrier for leisure and commercial maritime policies, and they certainly have capital, and the intelligence on where the current threats are.
Other than breaking about a thousand maritime laws, this should be fun. Have at it.
You don’t need a destroyer. That would be overkill. All you need is a merchant ship with pintel mounted machine guns with gun shields. The pirates generally approach in speedboats, so as long as you have gunners competent enough to hit a moving target, you should be able to easily provide adequate protection.
The key issue would be getting permission from governments to operate in their waters where applicable.
Poor boy, you don't understand. Those pirates are your best marketing. You don't really want to shoot them up, you want them to shoot up the ships that are not protected by your service. Having a big 300ft ship with a flashy logo would clearly define which ships are protected, and which ships still need to sign up with your service. Having a snappy highly visible burgee on the contracted ships might be enough after you have blown up a couple of pirates.
The Mafia has been in this protection racket for a long time. So make up your mind, do you want to make money or play Batman? I bet you are sitting there in a rubber suit with fake pecs right now aren't you?
Excellent point. Having a highly visible escort ship would also make it less likely that combats would occur, which would make it easier to sell to the governments in whose water you need to operate in.
So, the Calvin Klein, Prada, and Gucci MegaYachts filled with supermodels all happen to be cruising the Somali coast at one time.
You have been told a number of times today how you look like a desi Johnny Depp at the wheel of your sleek black high tech crusiser
Suddenly a speed boat filled with Kaat crazed Somalis appears. The Supermodels scream. You command full port rudder, both engines full.....
Works for me.
No, luckily the foot is covered by a thick layer of rubber from his Bat uniform...... we don't want the supermodels diving overboard into shark infested waters just to escape the Foot....
I have a beter idea. Tell the US that Somalia, Indonesia and Malaysia have WMD's and US war ships will swamp the area in no time - this will stop non-ligit ships :D
I have better idea than mercs and outsourced special ops guiding boats. Teach yourself how to train kids to pee and poop "on the potty" and then offer your services to parents that struggle with it. much better returns (financial and prayers) than a boat carrying siht out of china for walmart.
