Maham
November 15, 2009, 11:03am
11
Ok ppl. I really need advice. I just got engaged like about 2 weeks back. Fiance is in UK, doing his speciliasation while am in Pak. It’s a total arranged affair. He came over with his parents , they all liked me rishta bheja and sab ho gaya. His family is wonderful. They are all very loving and caring from what Ive learnt up till now in these 4-5 months till now.
But my fiance is still a mystery to me. He’s quite religious MashAllah and he hadn’t contacted me till a week before our engagement. But what did surprise me was that even after he did, he did not want to tell his family that he talks to me. Although his family is quite understanding and broad minded. infact i am sure they look for reasons to make us talk to each other. But he has always refused to them k abhi nai ..bad mei. With me he’s quite normal and friendly. We have a lot in common, in terms of profession, hobbies, likes and dislikes.
Still, there is some barrier. Maybe because he’s quite mature and about 7 years older and he’s not that teenage sort of ‘oh i love you and i am obssessed about you’ type and also since he’s lived alone for nearly 8 years during his medicine and postgrad. He’s openly discussed our future and the options and my perhai as well. Been very sweet friendly and practical but no signs of any more than a friend liking for me till now.
As in how can I build a friendly relationship that can later blossom into love. At times i feel insecure, that he doesnt like me or am just his parents’ choice. We hardly get to talk because of his exams coming up and mine. And I already seem a little in awe of him.
Do help me out in this matter. How can I make him my best friend first and share all my concerns with him rather than being intimidated and a little scared that he might not get offended at anything stupid i might say
I am not sure abt why he would want to hide from his family that he is in contact with you?! maybe he is shy. I dont know. But otherwise i think its perfectly normal for him to be the way he is being with you. Not everyone can be as frank n open as most of the fiances r with each other nowadays. And to be honest its a personal choice at the end of the day like for me i would anyday want my fiance to be the way yours is as i think there is a rite time for everything. And getting ahead of time loses its charm in no time.