Building a friendly relationship with fiance

[diwana]

@Enigmatica

Ok ppl. I really need advice. I just got engaged like about 2 weeks back. Fiance is in UK, doing his speciliasation while am in Pak. It’s a total arranged affair. He came over with his parents , they all liked me rishta bheja and sab ho gaya. His family is wonderful. They are all very loving and caring from what Ive learnt up till now in these 4-5 months till now.

But my fiance is still a mystery to me. He’s quite religious MashAllah and he hadn’t contacted me till a week before our engagement. But what did surprise me was that even after he did, he did not want to tell his family that he talks to me. Although his family is quite understanding and broad minded. infact i am sure they look for reasons to make us talk to each other. But he has always refused to them k abhi nai ..bad mei. With me he’s quite normal and friendly. We have a lot in common, in terms of profession, hobbies, likes and dislikes.

Still, there is some barrier. Maybe because he’s quite mature and about 7 years older and he’s not that teenage sort of ‘oh i love you and i am obssessed about you’ type and also since he’s lived alone for nearly 8 years during his medicine and postgrad. He’s openly discussed our future and the options and my perhai as well. Been very sweet friendly and practical but no signs of any more than a friend liking for me till now.
Maybe I am being paranoid or too sentimental. And i am still not sure how to carry this on.

As in how can I build a friendly relationship that can later blossom into love. At times i feel insecure, that he doesnt like me or am just his parents’ choice. We hardly get to talk because of his exams coming up and mine. And I already seem a little in awe of him.

Do help me out in this matter. How can I make him my best friend first and share all my concerns with him rather than being intimidated and a little scared that he might not get offended at anything stupid i might say

(Sorry, lately I have noticed occasionally people after getting advices edit their first post, so I am quoting your entire post)

What you are feeling is quite natural because of distance involved and nothing to worry about so early here based on what you posted.

Relax and slowly build up relation. Concentrate on your exams and let the flow go naturally. The moment you try to show impatience or anxiety, things may go wrong. You have a life ahead to impress him with your smartness. If he does not encourage you to be romantic then don’t. Ask directly what he likes or dislikes and give clear simple reason for it which is that you just want to make sure he is happy with you.

And remember, he is religious man and you are not married yet. Going too fast too close may make him worried.