Rabia ur not in the wrong...God bless u and reward u for helping ur brother and family and May Allah makes ur brother well very soon inshallah ameen..the person who is wrong is ur elder brother...they are called elders for a reason.....if hes trying 2 make u feel guilty for 1 day u made him go with ur brother...then remind him of all those days he didnt go with ur brother...that shud put him straight...but hey y bother...the one up there is watching all....dont let him get 2 u and happy belated birthday...
I think it is teasing, I would tease my sister same way.If she confronts me then only I will tell her that I was teasing her. But she being my sister will already know that I am teasing her.
As I said all the hardships you are going through has made you overly sensitive. All I do is pray for you.
It is another way of saying , aaan haan I know why you did not go with Sunny. He could not send you wink smiley in a SMS.
I don’t understand why our women always have to go through so much all their life. It doesn’t seem to end at any point. Unless she doesn’t say anything he’ll continue to be stupid. I’m sorry but I find the elder brother very insensitive. My bro. is exactly the same that’s why I can’t stand such people. Sirf selfish hotay hain jin ko apni zat se pyar hota hai.
I dont have that type of a relationship with Sam…but even if he was joking he could have put a smiley face or “j/k” or anything to indicate that he was indeed just teasing me.
I don't understand why our women always have to go through so much all their life. It doesn't seem to end at any point. Unless she doesn't say anything he'll continue to be stupid. I'm sorry but I find the elder brother very insensitive. My bro. is exactly the same that's why I can't stand such people. Sirf selfish hotay hain jin ko apni zat se pyar hota hai.
i dont let him or any other person walk all over me. I m very much like u MKD, i have tried to talk to him abt his insensitives but he doesn't feel that he is...and u have given up on it n my relationship with him. thank you for ur help and understanding me.
Rabia...Im so sorry to hear of all this...may Allah swt shower you and your family with His blessings! Ameen!
I dont like the sound of the message and I got exactly what yout got out of it. Normally, I would text back saying something like "Did you tell Sunny why are never there for him? You should, much sadder!". But thats because Im not very patient with this type of attitude and I dont have an elder brother...not sure what your relationship is like with him.
You're doing a wonderful thing by being there for your family. From what I gather, Sam is the eldest. Knowing that, he should be the one running the house and taking care of YOU but you stepped up and that is admirable. I find it strange when people ignore how hard it is to be young and have so many responsibilities on your shoulders. I hope and pray things get better, Inshallah.
Rabia...Sam sounds like he was irritated and didnt want to be bothered. He may have said something to Sunny about it to make it seem like you were being negligent. You werent. In a way, its kind of your fault...read the whole thing...dont get upset yet. :) You've spoiled the people around you into thinking you're Wonder Woman, who can do anything and doesnt need any time for herself. Ive done it myself. No, thats not true. Everyone should be involved and helping out as much as possible. If I were you, I would take this as a lesson and start delegating tasks to other people to make them understand your brothers and mother are NOT only your responsibility. This will do two things: ease the burden from your shoulders a bit and give your family more people to depend on.
You're only human Rabia...you've got to live life too.
^ u knw there have been times when i m tried of doing everything...n cant take it anymore n i tell my brothers and ammi to help me out. which they do but thn there are times when they dont ...and nothing gets done. i guess they know i will do it eventually and i knw if i dont do it no one will.
I do everything because i feel like i have to...and u knw once i asked Sam to take care of something and asked him why doesn't he help out...u knw what he said...its cuz "i love to do everything and want to handle everything," i told him NO...its becasue if i dont no one will.
^ u knw there have been times when i m tried of doing everything...n cant take it anymore n i tell my brothers and ammi to help me out. which they do but thn there are times when they dont ...and nothing gets done. i guess they know i will do it eventually and i knw if i dont do it no one will.
I do everything because i feel like i have to...and u knw once i asked Sam to take care of something and asked him why doesn't he help out...u knw what he said...its cuz "i love to do everything and want to handle everything," i told him NO...its becasue if i dont no one will.
i dont knw what ll happen once i m married :(
LOL Thats the age-old phenomenon (across all cultures) - (generally) guys don't do it because they know girls will take care of it. You will really have to give up (not just pretend for one or two times) before they will realize that you mean business and they will pick up the slack.
Can't really blame 'em ... why work? when someone else will do it for you ... its normal reaction
^ u knw there have been times when i m tried of doing everything...n cant take it anymore n i tell my brothers and ammi to help me out. which they do but thn there are times when they dont ...and nothing gets done. i guess they know i will do it eventually and i knw if i dont do it no one will.
I do everything because i feel like i have to...and u knw once i asked Sam to take care of something and asked him why doesn't he help out...u knw what he said...its cuz "i love to do everything and want to handle everything," i told him NO...its becasue if i dont no one will.
i dont knw what ll happen once i m married :(
We're girls and our natural instinct is to nurture and care for people around us. :) Its a given!
Here is what I woud suggest...in a few weeks...say you're schedule at work is getting very very tight and need help. You're boss is out of town and needs the extra hours or anything for that matter...you know what you can get away with.
Start lining up chores to get done and hold people accountable. You're not being selfish...you're teaching your siblings how to care for your mother and brother...they need to know how to do that. Your mother should be able to rely on ALL of her kids...not just one. :) Imagine how much stronger your family will be?
The text message is just a sign...you've got to let the kids grow up now.
Awww Rabia my dear you are such a nice and caring person. I love you so much. I cried while reading your post.
Masha Allah Rabia you are helping your family so hard. Allah will give you so much reard insha Allah in this world and after the end of this universe I mean on judgement day. Insha Allah.
Allah help your brother to recover fully oar Allah aap ki mahna rung laay.
Mujhay to bilkul samajh naheen aai aap kay bhi ka message is liaay kuch naheen kah sakta sirf itna kahoon ga kay jub wo selfish hai to selfish logon say kuch baeed naheen so bura mannay ki zaroorat naheen.
I agree with mo3 kay pooch lain.
Allah aap logon ki madad karay ameen. Kuch kaam doosron pay bhi chora karain aur koi karay na karay aap bilkul na karain. Itna burden apnay aap per na lain.
I just read ur post and IA will pray for u. Don't worry too much bout it gal. Whatever it means try to ignore it or talk to ur bro bout it (sunny) who is the message initiator. Now as i tell everybody it's hard to understand a person's situation without being in their shoes. So even if Sunny meant (what u thot he did that u cdnt take ur bro but cud take time off to celbrate ur bday) he prolly does not understand. I know it hruts to know tat ur own sibling doesnt understand u but it's all part of sibling love. dont pay attn to it and just be happy.
I don’t like how your family is going through struggles and your brother moved out of the house because he needs “more freedom”. I just can’t digest that.
sadzz its easier said that done...esp when u work so hard to do ur best and when brothers, mom and a fiance are the only person u have (actual family).
but thank you all for ur blessings and helpful words it had help me understand few things.
He could not send you wink smiley in a SMS.
:boxer:
