brother
Seriously your brother deserves happiness stop interferring and let him marry who he wants. You guys used him while that may not have been the intention its turned into a vicious cycle of just seeing him as a cash cow. Im not suprised he found his own partner.
Re: brother
My grandmother did this to my aunt and uncle. They are 38 and 40 years old and have never been married because she didn't want to lose her maid (my aunt) and didn't want anyone to "steal her son from her."
It is so sad when people do this. What will happen to him once ur mother passes? He will be all alone. Please let him get settled in life while he still has the time.
My mom found a rishta for my aunt but my grandmother rejected it because the guy had a gf in the past!!! She is still waiting to find a 40 year old Virgin for her. But it is obvious that she doesn't want to lose her maid.
My mamu is another story because he rejected a rishta because the girl was 35 and too old for him! At least ur brother is samajhdar and has found someone suitable for him. He probably doesn't want a teenage bride who will not understand him at all
Re: brother
i'll add, for people abroad it might be a very odd story, but in pakistan it's very common, guys supports their family, no biggie, families keep them to themselves, not something new. its works well if both sides are balanced.
There is nothing odd in a guy supporting his family. There is something very odd in a mother not wanting the best for her child due to her own blind greed. It's really not about balance anymore then.
Re: brother
You have been dishonest and greedy and would have destroyed your brother's life without regret. Who cares if he's lonely and sad, as long as he's bringing in the money to support your family's luxuries?
Your family's behavior has been abusive toward your brother.
You are a grown woman now. Stop making excuses and letting your mother's sinful behavior ruin your family. Your mother is a terrible example for you to follow. Accept her for her flaws, but stop letting her influence your decisions.
Re: brother
Huwey tum dost jis ke dushman us ka aasmaaN kyouN ho
May Allah protect us from relatives like you and your mother. But I must say this is not uncommon, have seen people doing even worse. Know a person whose wife was killed by his siblings just coz he reduced the money he spent on them.
If you do want to make it right then:
1- Come clean, apologise to your brother for the role you played and do Istaghfar.
2- Support his decision and tell him you will stand with him.
3- Tell him that your mother will not stop going crazy and he should learn to ignore her.
4- Tell your mother what you feel and your intention of supporting him.
5- Be prepared for your mother to give you a guilt trip.
Re: brother
she has nothing to say now. Shes not coming back
Re: brother
You are correct. This is the only chance you have to make things right for the man who did so much for you and your family. If you truly feel guilty for your selfish actions and want to make things right and live your life guilt free, then support your brother's choice. Stand 100% behind his decision to marry this woman because she makes him happy. For once, support your brother and allow him to do something that makes HIM happy and don't interfere. Not only should you let him marry his chosen woman but you should actually help him plan the wedding and help convince your mom that this is the best decision for him.
This!
You realize he has worked so hard for each of you, you should stop treating him like an ATM machine. Let your mom deal with how she wants, but at least you can be there for him now.
Based on the comments, these sorts of things are common?!?
Anyways…
Let the guy get married and live his life! good on him for stepping up and helping the family, but what the heck man? You guys couldn’t help him when he asked you to match him up. Let the guy be happy…
And I don’t think him finding a girl on his own is the punishment. Or the fact that she’s a divorcee/ has a child. Ugh. Such jahalat…
Re: brother
I am fond of people with good grammer and understable situation-teller.
Re: brother
I am fond of people with good grammer and understable situation-teller.
Sweet, sweet irony!
Re: brother
Your mother is very selfish. So are you.
Your brother is too good to be a part of your family. Was he adopted?