We were average middle class family of pakistan who had become lower-middle and then lower class after 1997. Amongst siblings we are 3 brothers, and myself being the only sister. I am second from the eldest.
My eldest brother, who is now 31, has a good age gap between us three and him. When he was 23 had himself the most honorable education in Pakistan, and he literally lifted us to better financial board and living, single handedly since then.
Naturewise he is sharp in external affairs but to the family, he is very humble. He’d quickly know if someone is try to outsmart him and he’d willingly become a fool and forgive them the very second. His nature is really an easy one.
Usually it’s my father in home who has a say, but since my brother went extremely out of the way, that nobody had imagined, our father greatly respects him and usually agrees to him.
People in our family had realized about his qualities and they had started sending rishtas for him since he was 25. Around 26, we were receiving rishtas for him from unknown families as well. My mother turned them down all.
Here’s a little about my mother, she is an educated lady, but her other 4 sisters were married in really rich families, and she wasn’t, but since my eldest brother started to lift us financially, we were living a class matchable to theirs. My mother really liked this late recovery.
Our brother whos been residing in African country for 5 years now visited us Pakistan every year twice, or once. When he was 27 he asked, if we could find him a fix with someone, with some basic requirements that he laid out. My mother knowingly delayed the process, and I was always assisting my mother. Biggest fear my mother had was that we would lose this financial base.
Also, we covered up some rishtas, when we asked our father to not to tell him, We also stopped him from visiting certain relatives for the very reason. Infact, we laid out some good excuses.
Our brother had turned silent, not openly, but we could feel that emptiness in him, that he always tried to cover, whenever he visited us, because he was nice. Truth is we lost him infront of our eyes, caused him pain, and pretended that he didn’t figured out the game we played.
When he was 28, I was married, and my younger brother also got married to a girl he knew from his class.
From that point on, my mother still continued the same. Years went on.
Our brother visisted us one month back, he discussed with monther, father, about this girl, who he’s interested in marrying from his work place, one year younger to him, muslim of indian descent. With 4 year old daughter, and divorced when she was 8 months pregnant.
Good news, that brothers, livelyness attitude is back. And he is assured us she is as normal as we would get somebody who marrying for the first time.
My father supported and agreed with him instantly, my mother is going crazy over this and still not in favour of this. And say that it’s a curse on her as what she did was not right with his son.
I have spoken to that girl, and I approve of her. But I also think I too was not nice to my brother when I assisted my mother. And I think this might be the only chance I will get to make it right, so that I can live my life guilt free. Our brother did everything for us, he continues to do it and I know will not stop, but if he marrys that girl, we will kind of live our life with guilt stamps infront us our whole lives. There are still very to-die-for rishtas for him in pak, but I am not sure whether to allow him or to ask him to marry him here.