Two brothers are living with two sisters and the parents in the same house. The eldest brother is devoutly religious, and the father is next in terms of religious devotion. The sisters are interested in religion but they are not that concerned at this moment in time, as the other family members are. One of the girls is 24 and wants to go out and about with friends while her eldest brother is adamantly against it, and the father although he doesn’t like the idea, does not participate in such arguments. The eldest brother thinks its unislamic for his sister to go out with her male friends (not boyfriend), and to talk to boys on the phone, etc. He makes this point often, but the girl doesn’t feel it is unislamic so she continues to do it anyway, whenever she gets the chance. Neither brother nor sister will agree with eachothers viewpoints. Due to this, tension is created in the household.
How can they get along? Is she wrong for going against fathers and brothers wishes? Should she abide by them? Should brother come around to seeing her viewpoint? If you were the brother/sister/parent, how would you handle it?
Could be me, but I dont know what they are stressing on about?
I mean like, If f.e. she was gonna go out with just one bloke, then I would mind (unless it was her fiance)
But like if they are like several dudes and like several dudettes going out together and not at night, like then chill out dude, like word up dude. it s cool. :biggthumb
hmm interesting... i might compromise actually... i remember a stage where i used to wear skirts and i loved them.. i have like 10's of skirts then my bro went to pak and when he came back he commented on one of them.. and i havent worn once since.. not cus he doesnt like them only cus i feel awkward knowing that he doesnt approve...
she should talk to him about and develop some trust.... my bro doesnt approve of everything i do but he trusts me so lets me go out with whoever and whereever i want... although when he REALLY doesnt like someone he'll make it clear and i'd get double minded about it...
to me, my brother's opinion does matter, not cuz hes controlling or anythin but because we have a mutual respect for each other and i want to keep it that way.
^ exactly. Sometimes you may not like or understand what they say to u.. but just remember they are only looking out for u. But yeah if it gets to the point where they are running ur life, then u need to talk about it (woops.. im repeating myself.. geez)
i noticed no guy has replied in this thread, anyways i guess it basically comes down to trust, how much your brother trusts you and ofcourse should be vice versa. desi guys think of the female members of thier family as an "izzath" issue, i am not sure if its a negative thing or not but lets face it thats the way things are in general. so if you can build this trust that you wont do anything bad or in other words wont bring a bad name to your family, then i think most brothers shoudlnt have any problem with thier sister's social life, as long as things dont go out of hand. if he has any reservations obviously the best way would be to talk about it and understand his point of view as well. mostly i hear "oh if u can do whatever why cant i", i really cant answer that, gender equality who are we kidding dont think it exists in our culture. and also doing small things like telling before hand where you'r going and with who and even introducing your friends, go a long way in that trust building. and i know it sounds unfair, but thats the way things are.
I find it interesting that most of the female guppies responding here would go along with what her brother says. I know too many girls that would not.
Guppie guys I've spoken with are telling me different things depending on how they lead their own lifestlye. Some have told me that they expect their sister to listen to them, and others have told me that they would agree to let the sister go out if she went out in a group only.
Some girls tell me its unfair that a brother should request such a thing, which I suspected some would.
The thing I have often noticed, even within my own household is that guys get more leeway to do things socially, as opposed to girls. I dont know if that will ever change.
I just find it interesting the dynamics of relationships in the household when one is so different from the other socially.
**Munni ** Are you asking this according to Islam or according to society?
If according to Islam then girls are not allowed to go out with guys and mix up with them. If according to society then it will depend on the society they are living in.
sadzz I am on GS from almost an year now and I have seen you in many theads, but till now I thought if you were a guy. So you wearing skirts was…
**Shehzada **
Bhai jan, you said no guy have replied in the thread before you. I think Preataxtatus ka checkup karwana paRay ga.
haha Black Mamba.. its ok ive confused quite a few people.. its wierd though... yes i was wearing skirts and still wouldnt mind... but i just cant be bothered
i think the brother shud back off, if their parents dont mind the girl going out with her friends or talking to them, he (the brother) is in no position to tell her what's right and what's wrong.
I am on GS from almost an year now and I have seen you in many theads, but till now I thought if you were a guy. So you wearing skirts was… 
